“One Day It Will Be Over, and You Will See Other Landscapes. . . You Are Not Alone”: Adult Survivors’ Messages to Children Undergoing Child Sexual Abuse

Abstract

Child sexual abuse (CSA) has received considerable attention from scholars, contributing to policy, intervention, and prevention efforts worldwide. However, survivors’ involvement in this research is limited. This study was designed to delve into the messages of adult CSA survivors to abused children. In all, 371 written testimonies were provided to the Israeli Independent Public Inquiry on CSA by survivors from diverse communities in Israel. The Inquiry aimed to promote change in policies related to CSA. The testimonies were analyzed using the qualitative thematic analysis method. The results revealed five main messages emphasized by survivors to children experiencing CSA: (a) transferring the responsibility and guilt from children to perpetrators and society; (b) turning toward the light and continuing on; (c) disclosure is essential; (d) a happy life is possible; and (e) together we can survive. The discussion emphasizes how various systems in survivors’ lives have profound impacts following the abuse. Although survivors were from diverse backgrounds, their messages to abused children were consistent. Through their messages to the children, the survivors emphasized their wish to transfer responsibility and guilt from children experiencing abuse to the society that is supposed to see, listen, protect, and validate. Implications for practice are discussed, focusing on the importance of making room for survivors’ voices and experiences in the processes of shaping policies in the area of CSA. Moreover, the survivors’ desire to be there for the children emphasized the urgent need to promote the perception of survivors as key stakeholders in the field of child abuse and to integrate their experiences and perceptions into the formal and informal systems for children.

Introduction

Child sexual abuse (CSA) is a well-known phenomenon that is academically characterized as a social, psychological, and health issue affecting the lives of children worldwide (Stoltenborgh et al., 2015). The effects of CSA have been the focus of extensive research. According to systematic and meta-analytic evaluations, children and adults who have undergone CSA are more likely to experience depression (Humphreys et al., 2020), anxiety disorders, and posttraumatic stress disorder (Gardner et al., 2019), as well as express high-risk behaviors, such as suicidal ideation, planning, and attempts (Angelakis et al., 2020). Other studies have explored the physical health effects of CSA (e.g., Irish et al., 2010) and its effects on other domains, such as academic achievement (e.g., Mitchell et al., 2021), highlighting consequences both in childhood and adulthood. The consequences of CSA not only affect the survivors themselves, but the overall society is also affected by possible issues in areas such as unemployment (e.g., Letourneau et al., 2018).

In addition, CSA studies have emphasized far-reaching consequences of CSA and the crucial role of the societal response. Unfortunately, survivors still often struggle with disbelief from the informal and formal systems in their lives (Attrash-Najjar & Katz, 2023; Katz & Nicolet, 2022). These worrisome findings emphasize society’s role in responding to CSA and ensuring children’s rights, including their right to protection and a life without violence.

CSA and Society’s Role

As CSA is an immensely traumatic experience with severe ramifications, early disclosure is crucial (McElvaney & Culhane, 2017). However, disclosing CSA is complicated, rarely taking the form of a one-time declaration, and survivors’ disclosures are frequently delayed (Tener & Murphy, 2015). Moreover, disclosure might have unexpected repercussions leading to negative impacts on the survivors’ and families’ well-being (Ullman, 2011).

Children can be hesitant to disclose abuse for several reasons. A systematic review pointed to factors that affect children’s decision to disclose, including fear of what will occur, not being believed, and how others will respond. The impact of emotions and effects of the abuse, the chance to come forward and tell, concern for oneself and others, and relationship with the perpetrator were also factors (Morrison et al., 2018). Other scholars have explored contextual factors that might impact children’s willingness to disclose, including gender, age, family support, ethnic identity (London et al., 2008), and level of traumatization (Somer & Szwarcberg, 2001). In addition, factors have been highlighted regarding related reactions, such as initiating a dialogue. Such an approach can promote a safe space for children to enable disclosure (Jensen et al., 2005), further emphasizing the vital role of societal responses to CSA.

Concerning the societal responsibility and responses to CSA, in recent years, CSA inquiries have been established in several countries that aim to examine past events or circumstances surrounding related issues or service failures. Specifically, these inquiries are designed to determine what happened, why it occurred, and what lessons can be drawn from those involved (Walshe & Higgins, 2002). They have sought to gather testimonies from witnesses and survivors; learn the truth; reform systems, policies, and societal reactions; and achieve justice for those who have experienced CSA. This study expresses one inquiry’s efforts to provide a unique public platform for CSA survivors to generate unique knowledge based on their experiences and perceptions. This study acknowledges that survivors are experts in CSA, and their voices and messages are essential to include in planning policy and informing practices related to CSA. Therefore, this study was designed to examine CSA survivors’ messages to children experiencing abuse based on their written testimonies provided to the Israeli Independent Public Inquiry, aiming to promote policy change regarding CSA.

The Context of this Study: The Israeli Independent Public Inquiry

The Israeli Independent Public Inquiry on CSA was initiated and led by the third author. The Inquiry is informed by a transitional justice approach based on the belief that the true experts of CSA are child and adult survivors and that learning from their past experiences is imperative to achieving significant change. Similar to independent inquiries conducted in Germany and the United Kingdom (Independent Inquiry into CSA in Germany; Independent Inquiry into CSA UK), the current Inquiry’s working approach was founded on the assumption that survivors hold the most important knowledge regarding abuse; therefore, their knowledge should inform prevention and intervention initiatives. Thus, adult CSA survivors from various Israeli communities were invited to share their stories to promote change in CSA policies and interventions. In addition to open-ended questions on their abuse experiences, the Inquiry’s innovative style invited survivors to submit messages to various individuals and institutions, including survivors/abused children. This research focuses on a one-of-a-kind effort to hear survivors’ voices and the messages they wanted to convey to children experiencing CSA. The examination will be guided by the question: What messages did CSA survivors have for sexually abused children?

Method

Data Collection

Adults aged 18 and older were invited by the Israeli Independent Inquiry on CSA to voluntarily share their narratives of experiencing CSA between ages 0 and 18. The advertisement was posted in five languages to encourage participation from diverse communities and disseminated via Meta, radio and newspapers, as well as social influencers and public figures. The data for this study were collected using an online questionnaire that gave the option to submit written testimony.

A standardized structure was used for the platform. First, survivors were asked for demographic information, including age, gender, and education level. Second, questions were asked regarding the abuse characteristics, such as the age at which it began and the perpetrator’s identity. Third, open-ended questions were presented regarding the abuse story (e.g., “Please tell the story of the abuse in your own words”), abuse disclosure (e.g., “Please share the way that the abuse was disclosed”), and receiving help (e.g., “Please share with us whether you received help as a child”). In the final section, survivors were invited to write messages to formal institutions involved in their CSA case, such as the welfare, health care, and legal and educational systems. They could also write messages to children who have been or are currently being abused, abused children’s families, perpetrators, and the inquiry members.

Study Sample

This study utilizes data collected from the online self-report questionnaire, which included testimonies from 505 CSA survivors. The study focused specifically on analyzing the participants’ messages to sexually abused children. Of the overall sample, 371 participants from diverse communities in Israel chose to convey a message to children. Most of the participants were Jewish (n = 323), and the remainder were Muslim Arab (n = 29), Christian Arab (n = 2), or chose “other” for their religion (n = 17). Most were women (n = 322), followed by men (n = 37) or chose “other” for their gender (n = 12). The participants’ ages ranged from 18 to 72, with the vast majority reporting they had experienced ongoing abuse (79%) and 21% reporting a one-time abuse event. The age at which the abuse first began ranged from 2 to 17. The perpetrators’ identities varied, and more than one perpetrator was often involved. Some survivors knew their perpetrators from the educational context directly (e.g., teacher, rabbi, bus driver, guard, peers) or indirectly (e.g., classmate’s parent, teacher’s spouse). Others identified the perpetrators as family members, neighbors, acquaintances, or strangers. Most of the survivors shared that they did not disclose the abuse during childhood, while 41% stated that they had disclosed the abuse during childhood.

Data Analysis

To identify, analyze, and determine the main themes that emerged from the survivors’ messages to abused children, the authors implemented Braun and Clarke’s (2006) thematic method. First, the authors read the messages to familiarize themselves with the data. Next, they identified the units of meaning. Then, each segment was coded and categorized in relation to its content. The authors discussed the categories that arose and organized them into initial themes. Finally, the themes were reviewed, named, and defined, and their interpretations were paired with quotes from the survivors to ensure that they adequately represented their voices.

Based on Nowell et al. (2017), the measures described herein were adopted to achieve the four criteria of rigorousness and trustworthiness in the thematic analysis outlined by Lincoln and Guba (1985). First, to achieve credibility, the participants were able to share their narratives in their own words using the questionnaire guidelines. Peer review and debriefing were done to preserve the participants’ perspectives and experiences. Thus, each author analyzed the data independently. They then held group discussions to reach a consensus regarding the findings and their interpretations. Second, to ensure transferability, thick descriptions of the study’s findings were provided and accompanied by the survivors’ own words. Third, dependability was achieved through documentation and audit trails regarding the study process and related decisions. In addition, peer debriefing meetings were conducted to address and overcome the influence of the authors’ possible biases on the analysis. All the previously mentioned criteria, which show the authors’ efforts to capture the participants’ experiences and perspectives accurately, point to the study’s confirmability.

The data were analyzed in Hebrew. After the analysis was completed, one author translated the narrative excerpts included in the article from Hebrew to English. Another author back-translated the excerpts into Hebrew to ensure the original meaning was accurately conveyed. The author who back-translated the excerpts from English to Hebrew did not take part in the initial analysis and did not see the original Hebrew transcripts.

Ethical Considerations

This study was approved by the Tel Aviv University ethics committee. Furthermore, intensive efforts were made to maintain the highest ethical standards. First, informed consent was required from all participants after they received explanations regarding the anonymous and voluntary nature of the study and were informed that all questions were optional. Pseudonyms were also used in the article to refer to the participants. Second, secure software and safety protocols were employed, and access to the testimonies was limited to only the research team members to ensure confidentiality. Lastly, a list of counseling resources and the Inquiry’s email address were provided to the participants in case of questions or a need for further support.

Findings

Analysis of the testimonies produced several key messages that adult CSA survivors wanted to convey to children experiencing sexual abuse. The main findings are visualized in Figure 1. Overall, the messages were written in simple language, as if the participants were adapting their language to that of the children they were addressing. Five main messages were found: (a) transferring the responsibility and guilt from children to perpetrators and society; (b) turning toward the light and continuing on; (c) disclosure is essential; (d) a happy life is possible; and (e) together we can survive.

Figure 1.

Main Findings and Implications for Policy and Practice.

Transferring the Responsibility and Guilt from Children to Perpetrators and Society: “Don’t be ashamed. It’s not your fault”

The words “shame,” “guilt,” “you are not guilty,” and “you have nothing to be ashamed of” were repeated by most of the survivors. In their messages, they related to feelings of guilt in the context of peritraumatic responses to the abuse. Anna, a 42-year-old Jewish woman, shared the following quote:

You are not to blame! Never! For nothing of everything that happened, even if you feel that way, even if you were told otherwise. . . You had no part in it. No matter what you said or did or didn’t say or didn’t do, you have no part in the abuse. Any of your reactions, or lack of it, are completely normal in this very abnormal situation! Everything makes sense. The body sometimes reacts in ways that we have no control over. As if you are startled by a “reflex” that cannot be stopped. What you went through is a huge panic. The body takes time to digest; not all the parts can be digested. Even if you feel that you chose to behave in one way or another, you chose correctly! You chose to do everything to survive.

Another survivor, who was abused by her mother and brother, explained how conflicting feelings can simultaneously exist that might exacerbate feelings of guilt:

Guilt is an automatic mechanism that our brain makes for us to feel in control of a situation that we have no control over. No one deserves what you are going through. Whoever did this to you is to blame. It’s so confusing when you feel both pleasure and pain and suffering at the same time. (Jewish woman, aged 36)

Furthermore, some messages urged abused children to remove the burden of guilt, using short and clear sentences: “You are not guilty.” In others, the survivors sought not only to remove the sense of guilt that the children may experience, but also to direct it to the perpetrators, where it belongs: “The one who is to blame is the one who did it to you.”

In the following quote, Yael, a 42-year-old Jewish woman, described, simply and clearly, that the difficult experience of guilt is imbedded in the abuse:

You are good, and you are not guilty. If you do not know it yet or are not sure about it, I can assure you it is true. In the future, you will see how unfair what is happening to you now is, how much it was not your fault, and how hard the perpetrators, and sometimes the environment, work to make you feel that it is your fault. How much they struggle to make you believe you want it, order it, cause it. This is not true.

Yael continued, placing the responsibility on the perpetrators:

More than that, there are perpetrators who also know how to confuse and make you cooperate, and it is important that you know that even then, it is not your fault! No matter what happens, children who are being used like that are not to blame. The adult has the responsibility and the ability to know that he is not allowed to. Where a child is not sure what is right and what is forbidden, the adult has long known. And the responsibility is his. Always!

Finally, Yael noted perpetrators’ techniques to produce guilt, teaching the children how to understand manipulation or duality:

It’s very scary to think that an adult in your life is bad, and sometimes it’s totally confusing because he does other things too. Maybe he also knows how to be nice. Maybe he loves animals. Maybe he is helping other people. Maybe he is even nice to you or helps you with other things when he is not hurting you. This does not mean that he is allowed to do to you what he or she is doing. And people can be a lot of things at once. It’s very hard to accept that at first. But learn. Just because someone knows how to be nice does not mean he cannot be bad either.

Other survivors highlighted that the children are not at fault and that adults are the ones responsible for protecting children. Dana, a 54-year-old woman who chose “other” for her religion, shared the following quote:

If someone, child or adult, does something to you that you don’t like in your body or that makes you feel uncomfortable, it means that this person is doing something wrong. Sometimes adults say all kinds of things to convince you that what they are doing or asking you is okay, but it is not true. Adults are not always right. And most importantly, you need to tell an adult that something unpleasant/scary/painful/ confusing happened to you. Adults need to protect children. That’s their job. Not all adults do their part, but some do.

In sum, the survivors emphasized the guilty feelings among abused children that might result in several contexts, including the children’s/survivors’ perceptions of their peritraumatic responses to the abuse and the multifaceted relationship with the perpetrator. Thus, the responsibility for the abuse must be transferred from the children to the perpetrators and the society.

Turning Toward the Light and Continuing On: “It’s awful, but you can live and thrive from it”

Many survivors referred to the severe consequences of the abuse that accompanied them in childhood and adulthood. Some described wounds that were impossible or difficult to heal. Sara, a 23-year-old Muslim Arab woman, shared the following quote:

You will probably feel fear and you might have trust issues with people, especially with members of the opposite sex, also intimately [. . .] Although you will feel that it does not pass, it is possible to overcome it with certain people who can be trusted.

Acknowledging and validating the consequences of the abuse was evident in the survivors’ messages to children. Anat, a 24-year-old Jewish woman who was abused by her sister, stated the following quote:

You are not alone. You went through a terrible thing. You don’t deserve it. You deserve to be protected and you deserve to grow up in a safe and beautiful world. Don’t give up. You will grow up and see that there is also a lot of beauty in the world.

Nonetheless, most of the survivors referred to the fact that, although the abuse will never be forgotten or eased, it can be dealt with, lived alongside and rehabilitated:

There is life after the abuse. You can choose a good life for yourself. True, there will always be this ugly scar. But you can recover, you can have better. (Jewish woman, aged 19)

It will be fine. One day you will stand on your feet and see that life is beautiful. (Jewish woman, aged 40)

I want you to know that you have a future, and a good future, that someone will one day love you, all of you, and he will hug you and protect you from all the evil in the world. There is someone who will hear you. You are not your abuse. You’re much more than that, and maybe one day, you can use what you went through to help someone else. The world is not only bad and dark and hurtful, it also has a lot of good in it. (Orthodox Jewish woman, aged 35)

In their attempts to convey their messages, the survivors used various nicknames for the children. The most common were as follows: “beloved,” “hero,” “warrior,” and “good girl.” Nicknames seemed to be used to show the children that they are worthy, to believe in themselves in the face of the abuse and that there are people who care for them:

It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Do not think that you are broken because you are not. You are wanted, you are loved, you are successful, and life will really light up your face. (secular Jewish woman, aged 24)

You’re a hero, you can get through this, don’t let no one take your body from you. (Jewish woman, aged 18)

You are a champion! And a heroine! And I send you my biggest hugs from me wherein you anywhere in the world. (Jewish woman, aged 28)

Hold on! You are a warrior! (Muslim Arab woman, aged 26)

You’re a good girl, and you only deserve good. (Jewish woman, aged 39)

These citations illustrate the survivors’ wish to empower the abused children and emphasize the children’s belief in their own worth and that they deserve the best. These messages also express the inner voice of maltreated children regarding feelings that they might not be worthy or loved as a result of the abuse they experienced. The survivors also emphasized the children’s strengths to move past the traumatic experience of the abuse and asked them to believe in themselves: “You are stronger than you imagine and better than anyone you know. The child has endless powers” (Jewish woman, aged 50).

Overall, the survivors’ messages highlighted the notion of hope for better days and that, besides the harsh ramifications of the abuse, it can be dealt with. In this way, the survivors invited the children to see coping with and overcoming the abuse as a journey and to have faith that things will improve.

Disclosure is Essential: “You have to tell!”

Despite the literature describing possible losses, negative consequences, and the impact of multiple contexts on disclosing the abuse, one of the most prominent messages from the survivors was that the abuse must be disclosed. The position of the survivors from diverse communities regarding disclosure was uniform, including those from conservative communities such as Muslim Arab and Jewish ultra-Orthodox. They urged children to tell someone what was happening and emphasized this as a key component to stopping and dealing with the abuse:

First of all, you are not alone. You stood alone in the darkness, therefore this means that you have strength, and this strength is indeed hidden, but it is waiting for you to use it in a war, a war in which you will come out stronger because when your strength comes out, the fear disappears. . . I want you to know that your silence intensifies the fear in you, you have to share. (secular Jewish woman, aged 38)

This is not your fault, you are not alone, don’t keep it a secret, it’s a bad secret.

Go to seek help and tell someone close to you, and if no one helps you, do not stop trying. There are people who love you and care for you and will make sure that the abuse is stopped. (Muslim Arab woman, aged 44)

Tell someone you trust, starting with parents. If not, find a teacher, counselor, neighbor or aunt. The main thing is to tell and ask for help. Do not wait. Make a note if necessary and give it to someone, do not be afraid! You are strong and smart, and you will get help! (Jewish woman, aged 54)

Tell, tell and tell, and if you don’t feel comfortable enough with people, then tell the person you feel closest to. (ultra-Orthodox man, aged 38)

In their messages to children, it seemed that survivors were attempting to rebuild trust among the abused children of the world by emphasizing that there are many good adults:

It is important for me to say that it is not your fault! Just because a person is tall and big and old, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t make mistakes or do very bad things. . . But I want you to know that there are many more good adults. Let’s try to think together about an adult who is nice and cares about you, okay? Let’s think about an adult who cares for you and you trust him? Amazing. Do you see that there are?. . . Know that there are a lot of good people out there. (Jewish woman, aged 28)

In addition, the survivors made it clear who should be the disclosure recipients. Primarily, they referred to adults, such as parents, educators, or counselors and some also mentioned friends. Others spoke more generally about finding the right person to tell and described the characteristics they should have. The survivors’ call to find the person who can hear the disclosure is illustrated by the following quotations:

Find one person who believes in you and trust him. (Jewish woman, aged 32)

Do not tell [just] anyone, choose well. Someone who knows how to listen, protect, and support. Someone to stand by your side. Not all adults are bad, there are those who want to help. [It is] a little hard to find out and understand who is on your side, take your time, but do not be left alone, it’s too hard. (Jewish woman, aged 31)

Even if you have no support from your immediate environment [family], I’m sure you can find one person to share and trust. Do not be left with this alone! (secular Jewish woman, aged 28)

Other survivors specifically referred to adult figures that children should disclose to:

Do not be silent. You must share with an adult you trust, mom, dad, uncle, educator, teacher, someone, and bring out the whole truth. It hurts to be silent and carry inside this shame and guilt that you had nothing to do with, and I believe in you that if I can live much more peacefully with myself today, it is possible for you too!! (secular Jewish woman, aged 25)

The survivors’ messages emphasized the vital role of disclosure. They pointed out that there are people the child can trust and who care for them, therefore, disclosing to the “right” person is encouraged. Their messages also highlighted that disclosing the abuse as soon as possible is critical to help end the traumatic experience and address its severe consequences.

A Happy Life is Possible: “Seek therapy”

Another message conveyed by the survivors was that, to deal with the pain of the abuse, it is necessary to go to therapy and create a benevolent relationship with professionals. They spoke about how care from and contact with professionals can stop the abuse as well as support the processing, growth from and handling of the abuse. These messages were expressed in the following quotations:

Go to a professional and tell, deal with it. I have no good news. I think it cannot be cured, but the pain can be relieved, so go see a professional. (secular Jewish man, aged 51)

You are good souls and you can rise from this. Don’t be afraid to tell. I know it’s hard, I know it’s scary. But such a thing is only for the better. Don’t resist help. . . and there is no shame in getting help. (ultra-Orthodox Jewish woman, aged 29)

You did nothing wrong. You’re loved. I care about you. You will recover and grow to be an amazing person full of love, confidence and compassion. You just have to persist with therapy and give yourself as many tools as possible to help you get through the difficult time. Do not be afraid of the social worker, she is only here to help. Let people help you. (Jewish man, aged 28)

The survivors highlighted the vital role of therapy in positioning the abuse within a broader context:

Join forces to help look at life from the macro level, and to try to put the abuse and its period into the context of a short section on the continuum of life, to help achieve protection and to promise to do everything to keep it protected. Give validation to the storm of emotions, support and help and provide a therapeutic response. It’s not your fault, of course. It is important that you find all the tools that the world has to offer you to help you return to a routine life free of anxieties and worries, and that you have to activate all that is necessary so that you can receive the proper treatment. (secular Jewish woman, aged 47)

Their messages emphasized that the journey of dealing with the traumatic experience might take time:

I wish you a proper rehabilitation process. You have to remember that it takes time, the circles in the soul that have been damaged can be much wider and deeper than you think. (Orthodox Jewish man, aged 47)

I want you to know that you can go through a process. The hurt will stay forever but will stop, after serious processing, to manage you. For me, my message is that you are going to have a long journey to get out of this. (secular Jewish woman, aged 62)

When the survivors discussed therapy, they stressed society’s responsibility to provide professional assistance that is free and funded by the state:

To give the child an immediate safe space/room for expression; any treatment at the expense of the state. I personally have not gotten over the story and only today, at the age of 36, do I realize each day how great the damage is and how much loneliness in general, and the loneliness in dealing with this story is very great. (secular Jewish woman, aged 30)

In this theme, the survivors’ messages emphasized the need to “release” the pain, which they suggested could be done by engaging in professional therapy, as one survivor noted: “You must undergo treatment and release the difficult experience you experienced.” Furthermore, they stated the vital role of therapy to place the abusive experience within the broader context of the lives of the children experiencing abuse. In this way, they attempted to encourage children and survivors that a happy life is possible: “It will be a nightmare that will probably never leave, but you learn to live with it and put it aside and learn to enjoy life even with this black cloud that often floats in your memory.”

Together We Can Survive: “I am here for you”

Touchingly, the survivors sought to convey to the maltreated children that they are not alone. They wanted to let them know they are part of a group of survivors, both children and adults and that the participants, even if they do not know the abused children personally, know what happened to them, believe them, and will protect them. They wanted to share the powerful message that a supportive group of survivors is always there, beyond the daily physical space. They wished to reduce the children’s loneliness, which they may have experienced themselves when they were abused, as illustrated in the following quotes:

Beloved girl, it is important for me to tell you that I believe every word you say [. . .] and I am here by your side. We need it because we have lost trust in people, and in the world. (Jewish woman, aged 65)

It’s not your fault, you are not alone. I wish I could take away all the pain.

I’m here for you! And I love you in every situation! In any form and in any way. I’m here for you! All with you, with eyes, with ears—I am here. You are not alone. (secular Jewish woman, aged 50)

And you should know that I also went through something similar. And I know it’s really painful and unpleasant, and it sometimes makes us sad, angry, frustrated, just like that. But better times and good people to meet, await you. (Jewish woman, aged 28)

The survivors highlighted the ways children could access support, such as social media:

Today, social media is a significant platform where it is possible to find the tools, help, advice and mental and emotional support that saves lives, also raising awareness on social media is important and critical for a child who is unaware of their plight and does not have access to help at home. (secular Jewish woman, aged 46)

In conclusion, in a powerful and moving way, adults who were sexually abused as children sought to convey meaningful messages to children who have or are currently experiencing abuse. In simple and clear words, full of emotion, they strived to help children choose life. The messages were grouped into five main themes. First, they shared the message of the necessity to remove any element of guilt and shame from the children and transfer these feelings to where they should be—with the perpetrators and society. The second message was that the consequences of the abuse are severe but that the children can survive, rehabilitate, and flourish. The third powerful message was that children must tell someone, preferably an adult who can be trusted, about what is happening to them, as it is the only way to survive. Fourth, the survivors also imparted the importance that the children seek out trustworthy professionals and go for treatment, which they saw as essential to the recovery process.

The last message was that the children are not alone, as all CSA survivors form one inseparable group. The participants, who experienced CSA and survived to testify about what happened to them, told the children that they are and always will be with them, even though they have not met. This last quote summarizes many of the survivors’ important messages:

A day will come and this hell will end. Be strong. You deserve good. You’re fine, you’re so deserving of good, you’re all good. You are not guilty. You are the victim of a madness of violence. One day it will end, and you will see other landscapes, taste sweet flavors, listen to pleasant sounds, dance, fall in love, build the life you dream of. I love you. You are not alone. (Jewish woman, aged 34)

Discussion

The empirical literature on CSA has contributed greatly to our understanding of the phenomenon and enhanced adaptations to practices and interventions with abused children (Katz et al., 2020, 2021). This study joined these previous efforts and provided a unique opportunity to focus on the survivors’ voices and messages to abused children. To the best of our knowledge, no study has explored the CSA survivors’ messages for abused children. The significance of this study goes beyond the findings, as the survivors were given the opportunity to voice their experiences to currently maltreated children. Previous studies have shown the importance of including survivors in efforts to shape policy, prevention, and intervention programs, as well as the sense of justice they can gain as a result of their participation (McGlynn & Westmarland, 2019; Scoglio et al., 2021). Such initiatives further acknowledge survivors as the experts of their experiences and provide a potential sense of agency in striving for societal change.

In all, 371 messages were submitted to the Israeli Independent Public Inquiry into CSA in response to the open-ended invitation for CSA survivors to send messages to abused children. These messages comprised the data for this study, the analysis of which generated five main messages of transferring responsibility and guilt to the perpetrators and society, for the children to continue on, that disclosure is essential, a happy life is possible, and that together we will survive. The CSA survivors’ messages to sexually abused children reflected not only their personal experiences, but also the lessons they learned. Interestingly, although the survivors in this study were from diverse communities in Israel with different sociocultural, religious, and political contexts as well as different experiences of abuse (e.g., continuous vs. one-time abuse, extrafamilial vs. intrafamilial abuse), their messages to maltreated children were consistent.

Sharing one’s experiences can be seen as a form of resistance against the secrecy and silencing in a cultural environment that discourages survivors from speaking out about their experiences of abuse (Fivush, 2010). Consequently, as seen in this study, a narrative of resistance against gender-based violence/child maltreatment has been made possible and clear in the survivors’ messages to maltreated children. In doing so, a coherent voice among survivors from diverse backgrounds was found, although their experiences differed and many had not disclosed the abuse previously. Nevertheless, they used unique and consistent language to encourage maltreated children to report the abuse, find a trustworthy person to inform, and seek therapy and other messages. Thus, the question arises regarding how this harmonious voice or language developed among survivors from different contexts. Future research should examine the intersection and connection between survivors’ voices from diverse backgrounds.

The first message conveyed by most of the survivors calls for transferring the responsibility for the abuse from the children to the perpetrators and society. This acknowledges several contexts that could exacerbate feelings of blame and guilt among abused children. First, child and adult survivors might face negative responses to disclosure, such as denial and blame from the formal and nonformal systems in their lives (Gemara & Katz, 2022), which could contribute to their feelings of guilt. In addition, taboo, shame, and guilt play a role in the societal construction of abuse. The survivors’ messages for abused children highlighted the consequences of this CSA construction, which is central in explaining the negative self-attributions abused children might experience following abuse, such as feeling self-blame and shame for not doing more to fend off the abuse (e.g., Katz & Nicolet, 2022).

Moreover, the complicated dynamic between children and perpetrators, perpetrators’ grooming strategies and manipulations, and children’s perceptions of the abusive relationship (Alaggia et al., 2019; Katz & Field, 2020) might shape their responses to the abuse, including feeling guilt and shame. Survivors in this study pointed to the strategies employed by the perpetrators to instill guilt in the children, with the intention of teaching children how to recognize manipulation and dualism. Their messages are in line with previous findings of a trust-building phase and normalization of sexual activities in the relationship, which have been proven to be a part of the grooming process that facilitates abuse (Katz & Barnetz, 2014, 2016). As a result, maltreated children might perceive themselves as partners in the abusive relationship, which may exacerbate their feelings of guilt and shame.

Moreover, this message emphasizes the importance of transferring responsibility from the child to the perpetrators and society to promote a more just society. The findings highlighted the concept of transitional justice wherein society must establish processes and mechanisms to acknowledge past abuses and injustice to ensure accountability and justice (Bellino et al., 2017). Restoring trust in society, truth-seeking, criminal prosecution, assigning reparations, and reforming law, policies, and institutions are necessary approaches to transitional justice that can be combined or applied separately (Kizilhan & Neumann, 2020). Consequently, the societal response to CSA and reforming policies and interventions through acknowledging survivors’ voices, experiences, and messages are essential to this process.

Furthermore, the survivors called for children and other CSA survivors to turn toward the light and continue on, that therapy can assist in dealing with the traumatic experiences, and that a happy life is possible. Through their messages, the survivors pointed to the far-reaching and lasting impacts of CSA. The consequences of CSA have been extensively studied and discussed. Despite the detrimental impacts of CSA, research has reported positive gains or transformations as a result of trauma, referred to as posttraumatic growth, perceived benefits, and other constructs (e.g., Calhoun & Tedeschi, 1990; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1988). These positive gains are described as the propensity to notice significant changes after traumatic experiences, such as a greater sense of gratitude for life, a shift in priorities, and more significant connections with others (Tedeschi et al., 2018).

Likewise, most survivors’ messages in this study underscored that while the abuse cannot be forgotten, it can be dealt with. They can live alongside it and will be able to thrive. Relatedly, recent studies have highlighted the vital role of therapy in dealing with traumatic experiences, including regaining trust in relationships, reducing loneliness, boosting self-worth and self-esteem, breaking the cycle of traumatic reenactment, and placing the abuse in context (Nasim & Nadan, 2013). Other studies have emphasized the role of resilience, recovery, and meaning-making among CSA survivors, as well as the role of positive reframing and cognitive reappraisal as strategies and coping responses to abuse (e.g., Himelein & McElrath, 1996; Oaksford & Frude, 2004). These studies found that survivors constructed CSA as motivation for personal change and growth, providing them with the opportunity to mature, understand how healthy relationships work, and become stronger. Together, these studies and others support the survivors’ message that a happy life is possible after abuse.

One of the most common messages that emerged from the survivors’ messages was that the abuse must be disclosed, highlighting society’s responsibility and response to disclosure. Disclosure is essential to enable adequate responses to abuse and to protect children (Gemara & Katz, 2022; McElvaney & Culhane, 2017). However, disclosure can sometimes be harmful, and the results vary depending on the nature of the trauma, the closeness of the person to whom the disclosure is made, and whether the survivors receive favorable or unfavorable responses (Ahrens et al., 2010; Ullman, 2011). Previous studies have found that most sexually abused children make an effort to tell at least one person, but not all of these disclosures are heard or taken seriously (Allnock & Miller, 2013). Thus, the first people they tell have a significant impact on how open they are to talk about the incident in the future (Ahrens et al., 2009). Ahrens et al. (2007, 2009) divided social reactions into five categories. In addition to positive reactions, these studies referred to negative social reactions to disclosure, including cold and detached, blaming, disbelieving, refusing to assist, and generally unsupportive. Unsupportive responses to disclosure have been shown to affect survivors’ well-being and could result in recantation and continuation of the abuse (e.g., Baía et al., 2021).

Although the literature has detailed the potential losses and negative repercussions of CSA disclosure (e.g., London et al., 2007; Ullman, 2011), the survivors’ position in their messages regarding disclosure was consistent and emphasized the vital necessity to disclose the abuse. Accordingly, the survivors highlighted the possible helpful responses to disclosure. As stated by Easton (2019), CSA disclosure, if received with a supportive response, can result in the end of the abuse and the beginning of support services for the survivor, among other outcomes, including prosecution of the perpetrator and prevention of future abuse. Relatedly, the survivors’ messages called for improving societal responses and ensuring a supportive environment is created to allow disclosure.

The survivors elaborated on the characteristics of the right person to tell. Some referred to adults such as parents, educators, or counselors. Empirical studies have found that the majority of CSA survivors use informal disclosure, with fewer survivors disclosing to formal bodies (McElvaney & Culhane, 2017). The survivors in this study highlighted several characteristics of preferred recipients, as one survivor stated: “Someone who knows how to listen, protect, support.” Therefore, it is crucial to encourage supportive relationships and social responsibility to establish a safe environment, which are required for children to feel safe enough to share their experiences. Otherwise, they may delay or avoid disclosing the abuse (Phasha, 2008).

The final message was that together, we can survive. In their wish to end the loneliness during abuse and afterward, the survivors aimed to establish a community of justice in which no survivor or child ever feels alone in their experiences. Although the survivors noted the vital role of disclosure, their messages also acknowledged that disclosure is not an easy process. According to a review of studies on adult CSA disclosures by Tener and Murphy (2015), despite the understanding of the barriers and facilitators of disclosure, the process of telling is still largely unknown. To fill this gap, Brattfjell and Flåm’s (2019) study examined processes that led to CSA disclosure. They found that survivors scrutinized and carefully sensed a recipient’s potential and held off sharing until they felt comfortable enough to trust that person, out of fear of unfavorable reactions or an absence of reactions. The development of this process was described as a back-and-forth motion. Furthermore, the survivors in their study mentioned the comfort of knowing someone else had gone through what they had, someone they believed could understand. These findings highlight the importance of receiving assistance from other survivors who can acknowledge their experiences and share the lessons they have learned. Therefore, it is vital to involve survivors in the development of policies, interventions, and services for children currently experiencing and survivors of CSA.

Overall, the findings further acknowledge the difficulty of the in-person process of disclosure. In this regard, disclosure via the internet has important benefits to consider when it comes to sexual abuse victims, as face-to-face disclosure may be difficult and complex and, furthermore, they are often silenced (Alaggia & Wang, 2020; Bogen et al., 2018). CSA survivors have used online platforms as an important, and sometimes only, source of a supportive community (Bogen et al., 2018). They may, therefore, seek out these platforms to disclose when they otherwise feel they have inadequate social support, are looking for recognition, or wish to influence society (Bogen et al., 2021). The dominance of online disclosure for survivors, specifically disclosure via #MeToo as a collective voice online, was the main theme of Moors and Weber’s (2013) study. They suggested that individuals who do not receive adequate assistance in traditional face-to-face settings may be able to get the support they need in online settings. Similarly, Fawcett and Shrestha (2016) found that blogging gave survivors a secure setting in which to manage the continuous difficulty of coping with the abuse. The blogging also allowed the survivors to use their traumatic experiences to mentor and encourage others going through a similar situation, which helped them grow. Indeed, in our study, the survivors offered themselves as virtual support figures. They communicated to the children a picture of a global virtual group of survivors with a common language and an unlimited capacity for support. They wanted to convey the message that a virtual community is highly significant and a constant solid support for abused children.

Implications for Practice and Policy

In reflecting on their experiences, CSA survivors are in a unique position to provide advice and assistance both to survivors and professionals in a way that takes their life experiences and lessons learned into account. This study’s findings contribute to practice and policy in several ways. First, through their messages, the survivors highlighted the positive aspects of practical interventions with survivors. Their perspectives bring a distinctive and experiential viewpoint and knowledge to the literature, offering a fresh perspective on what can successfully promote the processing of traumatic experiences. Interventions and support services could be created to address the most prevalent themes that emerged from the survivors’ messages, namely, the imperative role of social support and supportive reactions to disclosure; enhancing inherent strengths, worth, and self-love; and releasing the responsibility and guilt for the abuse. In other words, integrating the survivors’ messages in training, therapy, and interventions is essential as they have the potential to make other survivors feel they are understood, belong to a group of survivors, can deal with the abuse and give them hope. Moreover, professionals from various fields can learn from their messages, for instance, regarding the impact of guilt on disclosure and how guilt and self-blame could impact testimonies, such as denial and recantation among survivors. Professionals are also invited to share their messages with other survivors and in therapeutic sessions.

Moreover, CSA survivors’ messages to children have the potential to enrich child abuse prevention programs targeting children. Their messages could be incorporated into sexual education sessions for children and be used to validate the experiences of children who undergo abuse and let them know they are not alone, are not guilty and promote disclosure.

Furthermore, survivors could benefit from strategies that offer social support and other free professional resources. This was manifested in the survivors’ messages of seeking therapy that, in turn, emphasized the responsibility of policymakers and governments to establish and ensure available, accessible, and professional services. In addition, their messages stressed the need to seek out other survivors and realize that they are not fighting alone. Authorities, policymakers, and professionals should aim to create programs where survivors who have experienced CSA can assist maltreated children and other survivors and invite survivors to participate in planning policies and practices. Such actions simultaneously acknowledge the necessity and importance of including the learned experiences of past survivors.

Online support also appears to be significant. However, future studies should empirically examine the advantages and disadvantages of this platform for support after CSA. The survivors’ messages also acknowledged the role of disclosure recipients, supportive reactions to disclosure, and the importance of transferring responsibility for the abuse to society to enable disclosure. Training programs and preventative strategies should be established to promote awareness among society, including parents and professionals. In conclusion, the CSA survivors called on society and offered their valuable experiences and voices in planning policies and practices and responding to CSA. The survivors’ messages manifested the societal power that can be built together with survivors to mitigate child abuse and better respond to it. They also emphasized the multiple benefits for all parties involved by transforming the power of trauma in constructing a safer world.

Study Limitations

Although this study’s findings make a unique and significant contribution, the limitations should be addressed. This study did not distinguish or relate to the characteristics of the survivors (e.g., age, gender) and abuse (e.g., severity, perpetrator identity) or how these characteristics influenced their messages. For example, we were not able to distinguish between survivors who received treatment and those who did not. Moreover, another limitation is the self-selection bias regarding who submitted their testimonies and who has access to online surveys or research platforms. An additional limitation concerns the generalizability of the findings to the global multi-ethnic-racial community of survivors. Most of the survivors in this study were Jewish. Reaching out to and engaging survivors from various backgrounds and communities is essential for learning from their perspectives, experiences, and narratives. Furthermore, acknowledging the various contexts of communities and how they can impact the implications of the findings is crucial, for instance, the issue of accessibility and availability of trauma-informed services for CSA survivors. Furthermore, the open-ended invitation for messages addressed to abused children was posed at the end of each online questionnaire, as this study is part of a larger project. The majority of the participants (371 out of 505) responded to this invitation. However, it is conceivable that there may be intrinsic disparities between those who did and those who did not respond. In addition, it is plausible that fatigue at the end of the questionnaire influenced the participants’ responses, for instance, writing shorter messages or not responding. Despite these limitations, this study offers important insights into the messages of CSA survivors to abused children, which are essential to understand in promoting policy and practice.

Conclusion

The survivors’ messages stressed the importance of societal responsibility for CSA, manifested in their messages to shift guilt and shame from children who experience abuse to the society that is meant to listen, protect, and validate them and their experiences. The findings center on the significance of giving survivors and their experiences a voice when formulating CSA policies and trauma-informed services. The survivors’ desire to be present for other children further highlighted the urgent need to advance the inclusion of survivors as vital partners and stakeholders in the field of child abuse.

Author Biographies

Afnan Attrash-Najjar is a social worker at the public welfare services and a PhD student at the Bob Shapell School of Social Work, Tel Aviv University. Afnan’s PhD work aims to explore in-depth the meanings attributed by adult survivors of child abuse to their peritraumatic responses to abuse while referring to the broader context of the abuse.

Dafna Tener is an associate professor, a faculty member and a lecturer at the Paul Baerwald School of Social Work and Social Welfare, The Hebrew University of Jerusalem. She is interested in studying interfamilial child sexual abuse; statutory victimization; online sexual abuse; adult disclosure of childhood sexual abuse; the work of medical clowns with sexually abused children; and child maltreatment. She has conducted numerous research projects focusing on survivors’, families’, and professionals’ perceptions of child sexual abuse.

Carmit Katz is a full professor, at the Bob Shapell School of Social Work, Faculty of Social Sciences at Tel Aviv University. A research director at Haruv Institute, and the founder of The Israeli Independent Public Inquiry for Policy Change on Child Maltreatment and the International Group of Scholars Protecting Children from Maltreatment During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Her research focuses on four main axes: The first is direct discourse with abused children; the second is promotion and development of services and interventions for children affected by domestic trauma; the third is the study of family dynamics in abuse cases; and the fourth is abuse prevention.