| Relationships |
I would have to say that the stormy relationships [is most bothersome] and feeling like there’s always some type of distance between me and the other person [and] that…really upsets me… (IDI 2) I have definitely had some really bad breakups in the past. Just being super overreactive to everything. (ID 8) Probably the relationships with other people [bother me the most]. It’s been something I have experienced for a very long time. With platonic friendships, I have lost a lot of friends…just a constant shift of people in and out of my life. (IDI 16) I would have friendships that I valued, but I could not maintain them because I was just so hard to handle. There are people that I would be relying on as a support network that I would just totally ruin and it sucked. There was just nothing that I could do to control it even though I really wanted to. (ID 18) With family relationships, there’s been a lot of rocky territory there. (ID 26) |
| Work/school |
…it affects my job because I was super paranoid that people were talking about me and saying that I was doing a bad job. (ID 3) The suicidal ideations were very persistent and consistent throughout my day, so I found it really difficult to work. I kept having to reduce the amount of hours I was working. Eventually, I did have to stop working. (ID 21) I could not manage my emotions at my job. I ended up being hospitalized a few times in the middle of my job, even to the point where I had ended up self-harming myself, going into work, and then being taken out by police officers. (ID 34) …when I went to college…I almost got kicked out twice, I was put on suspension for a while, and it was just all day of manipulative behaviors and drug use…with most of that, it was just not showing up to class or stuff like that. (ID 39) |
| Self-care |
When you get really depressed, and you think about a lot of things, it becomes very easy to skip meals, to stop eating completely, stop drinking water, just chain smoke cigarettes because you are constantly anxious. (ID 1) I have a high BMI…I do not really exercise or eat well…taking care of myself does get more difficult when I was severely depressed. (ID 7) I was drinking excessively for a while there. I definitely attribute my drinking to my BPD. (ID 18) I am severely overweight and obese, and I try to fill my emotions with food, so I think that stops me from caring for myself in the best way, and I do have times where I do not want to get out of bed, or I do not want to shower. (ID 50) |
| Finances |
I definitely got into debt, and I missed credit card payments…I fell into debt, I did not renegotiate my student loans…it affected my credit score. (ID 3) Paying bills on time. I mean that’s more of function of the disorganization and not being able to afford things. I was homeless up until very recently for the past 2 years. (ID 5) I kept quitting jobs for a while…I did not have any money and I had to rely on my mom. (IDI 17) It took years to pay off all the financial fees. The money irresponsibility went on for years past that, all of which is sort of bound up with the drugs and alcohol and self-medication. (ID 40) |
| Legal |
I think it was 5 years ago, but I did assault someone…I picked him up by the throat and really beat this person to shreds, and I was in court for it. (ID 1) I did have a restraining order back in 2016 that was only for a year because I could not control my emotions with my partner at the time. (ID 34) I had a DUI, but I also had possession of a controlled substance…I was actually in jail for a night. (IDI 40) |
| Memory/thinking |
Not being able to focus because of the depression and the anxiety. (ID 9) There’s a lack of focus, like not being able to get anything done because my mind is just overwhelmed with everything…it’s frustrating. (ID 26) I do have a lot of problems keeping on task of what I am supposed to be doing or like remember things. My memory is shot. (ID 50) |
