TABLE 1.
Sample Text for Making a Request and Replying
| Category | Sample Language |
| Replying with a hard “sandwich no” | |
| Positive side one | “It is great to hear from you. I am very appreciative of your invitation. The research that you are leading is some of the most impactful work I know of.” |
| Negative middle | “While I greatly appreciate this opportunity, I would not be able to give it the time and attention it needs, given my current workload. I do not like to take on new commitments unless I know I can do a good job and participate as a solid team member.” |
| Positive side two | “If it is helpful, I would be glad to help you in finding another person to fill this role. I have several ideas of outstanding individuals who may be a fit.” |
| Replying with an early-career hard no | “I have been in conversation with my mentors and at this stage of my career, their best advice is to prioritize a few key parts of my research, so as much as I would love to help out on your project, it is best if I decline. I hope there will be opportunities in the future for us to work together.” |
| Replying with a soft no | “I am very grateful for this opportunity. I am not sure that I have the time to take this on right now, but I would be interested in talking with you to see whether there is any flexibility in your timeline. I would also like to learn more about the role you have in mind for me.” “I will not be able to join the team, but I am glad to help in smaller ways in areas where I have expertise.” |
| Delayed yes | “I would love to join your team, but I cannot join until the next semester.” |
| Reversing a yes | “When I had agreed to join your project, I thought I would have the time to commit to fulfill my role. However, a few new commitments have dropped in my lap and I am afraid I will not be able to stay on your project.” |
| Mentors and supervisors—making the ask | “I realize you have a lot on your plate right now, but I want to tell you about this opportunity. You do not need to answer now, but take some time to think about this and get back to me with any questions.” |