Table 2:
Additional Representative Quotes
| Theme 1: Support Through Education | |
| Subtheme 1.1: Acknowledging Ignorance | “‘What does that mean? How do you even know what a boy is? How did this come about?’ And I don’t think I really addressed it in a clinical way…I didn’t even know the word transgender, really. You hear with all those other words and blend together and meaning, transvestite, trans…” -Black, Latina mother of a transgender son from the Northeast “And I would just literally, instead of saying something completely stupid, I would just say, “I don’t quite understand how that makes you feel. Could you rephrase it or say it a different way or, say, even simpler like I’m a little tiny child and you’re just trying to explain it to me for the first time.” -White father of a transgender son from the Northeast |
| Subtheme 1.2: Remedying Ignorance | “So obviously, rampant Google searches to try and make some sense of it. Get some education, see who’s out there. Is there books you can read? Is there people we can talk to?” -White father of a transgender daughter from the Northeast “In that moment? Wow. I wished I had had material that I could have sat down and read with my child to understand, because I didn’t know where to turn…so at first you rely on your child to educate you and they’re going through enough stress. That really shouldn’t be their job.” -White mother of a transgender son from the Northeast |
| Subtheme 1.3: Identifying Misinformation | “And thank goodness, I was at that time online doing research for myself. And the articles that he had given me was [an] article in [a journal]. And I’m a scientist, so I immediately was like, “Well, this is a piece of crap,” because I read his references and realized his references do not support his opinions. So that was kind of disconcerting that you had professionals basing their opinions off of somebody who was twisting the truth. As a scientist researcher, I found it appalling that this guy would do this and publish it, but it wasn’t a peer-reviewed journal so it was essentially opinion.” -White mother of a transgender son from the Northeast |
| Theme 2: Engaging Community | |
| Subtheme 2.1: Family | “And my ex-husband, although he was somewhat open, was also blaming me for this. And so I felt like that was no support.” -White mother of a transgender son from the Midwest “My ex-husband is also pretty quiet. But he, for not one second, acted like I didn’t expect him to. He said, “I love you. There’s no difference. I don’t care. You’re my child. There’s nothing that could ever be who you are or anything that you are and who you love that would change that, period.” -Latina mother of two gender diverse children from the Northeast |
| Subtheme 2.2: School | “And school was very supportive also. But I think that they were supportive because when we had the meeting, I have already educated myself. I have already got so many resources from [a support organization] about what the rights of my child were in public school, about how to request the change of name.” -Latina mother of a transgender son from the West |
| Subtheme 2.3: Religion | “The Latino group from [a support organization] had a [theologist] speaker…He actually [explained] about in the different religions, not only Catholic that the Christians and started talking about the interpretation of the Bible and how different groups have different interpretations. And it was actually a great meeting because the person who’s in charge…knew that we as a [Latino] community needed to have that conversation.” -Latina mother of a transgender son from the West “She does attend a youth group for the Mennonite Church that we go to and they have all been very accepting there as well.” -White, LGBTQ+ parent of a transgender daughter from the Northeast “And it’s hard to start something new as well because you’re still kind of healing from the hurt of what I would just consider it rejection almost of your other faith family.” -White father of a transgender son from the Northeast |
| Subtheme 2.4: The Broader Community | “But what we’ve learned in this process is that, obviously, our community can make their opinions well-known and opinions about their moral opposition to who we are and who our child is. But the other thing that we’ve learned is that a very large portion of our community is kind and supportive. Even if they see the world different, that they have expressed their support and, again, in some surprising kinds of ways.” -White mother of a transgender daughter from the Midwest “I was afraid to talk to any of the parents of his friends because I didn’t want him ostracized from his friends or me from those friends. And it was really this double life that was happening.” -White mother of a transgender son from the Midwest |
| Theme 3: Expanding Community | |
| Subtheme 3.1: Isolation | Our world as we had known it had turned on its head, and it came crashing on us. Now the child that we knew was gone. Mostly depression, anxiety, and loneliness was left. -Latina mother of two gender diverse children from the Northeast “And people don’t get it…It has been very, very challenging and very, very hard. And you feel so alone. And you feel judged.” -Black, Latina mother of a transgender son from the Northeast My husband and I at first really didn’t know who to talk to about it. We didn’t really know who we felt safe talking to about it. -White mother of a transgender daughter from the Midwest |
| Subtheme 3.2: Safe Space | “And so I started walking in [the direction of the support meeting], and I just realized how many other people were walking in that same direction. And then we all sat down, and I remember…I almost cried. I was like, ‘Oh, my God. There’s this many?’…But just having other people that were…other parents that were going through the same thing we were, and knowing that I could be open and I could trust the people I was with, that it was a safe place, that I wasn’t going to be judged, was absolutely wonderful.” -White father of a transgender son from the Northeast “I would wish there were like an online video chat room for parents. I’m very visual. So I need to…find parents or transgender kids, all that stuff. But I almost wish there could be a video space to be like, ‘Hi, I just found out is there another mom who could video chat with me tomorrow at 8:00?’ And because I have like 10,000 questions. I think the face to face even if it’s over video is so critical.” -White mother of a transgender son from the South |
| Subtheme 3.3: Lack of Safe Space | “They have a community outreach program connected with the gender clinic where we go. But since we’re not there in that town, we don’t go to any of the support groups. They’ve offered online support groups and that’s just not something that we have taken advantage of. I think probably if we were there, we would at least check it out. It would be nice if we had a support group here for parents and for kids…we just don’t have it.” -White mother of a transgender daughter in the Midwest |
| Theme 4: Support in Health Care Spaces | |
| Subtheme 4.1: Relationships with Providers | “But I think had I known that the [gender specialty center existed], that they could have gotten us the help we needed, that’s where I would have gone immediately. But the doctor I talked to never shared that information with me.” -White mother of a transgender son from the Northeast “Yeah. I mean, so our primary physician is, where we live, which is more rural. And I mean, we’re dragging him along. He’s willing. He’s a wonderful man and he’s willing to learn with us. But he has no other patients. He has no experience. I don’t think he’s taken the initiative to get a lot of education on it.” -White father of a transgender daughter from the Northeast “So we were able to get in pretty early on and this doctor, he was just amazing. He’s been doing this for a really long time and he was just kind of very comforting, really assured us that this is the real thing, this isn’t a stage or a phase…This is the real deal.” -White mother of a transgender daughter from the Midwest |
| Subtheme 4.2: Logistics of Care | “I called them, and I got to speak to the receptionist within five minutes of making the phone call. I didn’t have to wait on hold for five hours. I got to speak to the receptionist. And that receptionist, just right then and there, had me talk to the social worker. And she picked up the phone, and I have to say. It was one of the best feelings…to have this person who knew things, to be able to talk to her.” -White mother of a nonbinary child from the Northeast “I also think a key step that my wife and I talk about is it’s very difficult to talk in front of our child with it to ask some of the questions that we know we need info on…we needed more of that time to be able to say things that she’s too embarrassed or she’s got too little of ears to hear what is entailed with some of these processes, you know?” -White father of a transgender daughter from the Northeast “I chose to go to a much bigger health system for a couple of reasons…the fact that they’re very large [and] they’re probably more likely to have more up to date education, training, maybe a little bit more broad minded…They haven’t even skipped a beat…immediately used the pronoun that we asked. And there was literally not even a pause or hesitation by them at all.” -White mother of a transgender son from the South |