Table 2.

Quotes

	The process of exposure
1. Fear before the conversation
Q1	(…) patients getting emotional: I’m afraid of that. It is already difficult for patients to be admitted to a hospital and then we start a conversation that makes them feel emotional. (Female nurse—44 years, patient, reflection in pairs)
Q2	I was too busy hoping to have a good conversation. I wanted to hear everything about the patient’s feelings. This had the opposite effect. (Female nurse—35 years, patient, reflection in pairs)
Q3	That gave me quite some stress! The idea that they [=the researchers] will listen to this conversation. “Am I doing it right?’ Someone will transcribe this and others will read this (…). Yes, I was constantly thinking: I must succeed in this conversation.” (Female occupational therapist—28 years, family member, reflective group session)
2. Presence during the conversation
Q4	I was very much preoccupied with the questions I wanted to ask. I thought: “I can’t ask that” or “what will be my next question?” (…) “and then, I realized, I don’t have to think about what I need to ask, … I just have to let him talk and I must try to hear what he wants to tell me. (Female nurse—35 years, patient, reflection in pairs)
Q5	I wouldn’t do it [=talking about personal experiences and emotions] either (…) You can’t just expose yourself to someone you’ve never seen before. (Female occupational therapist—28 years, family, reflection in pairs)
Q6	I had a conversation with a patient I already knew for a long time. And I was very surprised. The conversation touched me deeply. The whole time she was in the hospital, she never told me such things. I’d never thought she would tell all this. Quite unexpectedly, she told me so much, even emotional things. I was really astonished. (…) She told me so many things, I would never have learned about without the conversation. I am ashamed actually. Just ashamed, that we didn’t hear this information during our usual care. (Female nurse—31 years, patient, reflection in pairs)
3. Responsiveness after the conversation
Q7	(…) In 20 minutes she gave me so much information of who she is: a strong woman who always took care for her children and family, … a proud woman who now has difficulties with having an old, declining body and who has nobody left to take care for. Now she needs care. And that was very hard for her. (…) Now I understand why she was so resisting during her stay in the hospital: she felt so dependent. This is very important to take into account in our care and therapy. (Female occupational therapist—41 years, patient, reflection in pairs)
Q8	Afterwards I thought: “Oh, my God, what a conversation was this!” I really had to go outside to think over what the patient had told me and all the misery she had. (…) I really learned that there can be lots of pain behind a cheerful face. You can’t really know a person just by seeing him. (Female nurse—23 years, patient, reflective group session)
Q9	“For us, caregivers, these things are natural because we have done this frequently. Now, I realize, they are not so natural for patients. (…) It is hard to lay in bed and not being able to do anything, being dependent of others who just run out on the moment you want to ask something.(…) I’m much more aware that I have to stand still with the patient and with what I’m doing.” (…) Now, I’m much more attentive to what the patient says and how he feels in that situation, how the relation is with his children, … (Female nurse—35 years, patient and family, reflective group session)
Q10	I think I really needed this conversation so that my future conversation would be in the right direction. Yes, I’ve had stress and I asked myself 10 times “why did I start this?”. The feeling, the satisfaction afterwards is much bigger because of the fact that the impediment was so high. I needed to take this hurdle. (Female nurse—35 years, patient, reflective group session)