Table 3.

Summary of the Verbal Conflict Discussion Categories

Positive Verbalizations; Validation/Praise/Endearment (Mparent = .34; Madolescent = .02) Verbal expressions of support, empathy, approval of a person’s behavior, appearance, or state, apologies, personalized praises and compliments, and physical affection that place value on the other person (e.g., “I think that you did a fantastic job” or “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings”). Agree (Mparent = .64; Madolescent = .45) Verbal expressions explicitly agreeing with the other’s interpretation, ideas, opinion, or perspective (e.g., “You always do that” or “I agree with you.”). Humor/Tease (Mparent = .13; Madolescent = .18) Verbal expressions of joking, gentle wit, absurd or exaggerated statements, questions, or suggestions, mimics. These verbal expressions are made in lighthearted fashion without intent to offend (e.g., “If you can’t talk on the phone less, we’ll just have to get a pigeon for you to send messages back and forth”). Elicit Opinion of Other (Mparent = 1.25; Madolescent = .09) Verbal expressions explicitly or implicitly asking, “What do you think?” These verbal expressions can ask about the value of a behavior or others’ preferences but do not request information that would be only factual (e.g., “Is that a good idea?” or “Do you want to…?”). Discuss Own Feelings (Mparent = .19; Madolescent = .09) Verbal expressions self-disclosing on emotional states or on susceptibility to emotional response (e.g., “It really bums me out because she always ignores me” or “Do you feel that we’re being insensitive to you?”). Discuss Other’s Feelings (Mparent = .20; Madolescent = .03) Verbal expressions eliciting discussion of other’s feelings by asking questions about other’s feelings, reacting to other’s feelings with distress, punitive reaction, encouragement, or minimization (e.g., “How did you feel when I reacted that way?” or “There was no reason for you to be so angry.”). Discuss Emotions in General (emotion education; only coded for parents) (Mparent = .01; Madolescent = .01) Verbal expressions teaching or educating the child on the appropriate expression of emotion, the nature of the emotion, and on strategies to soothe the child’s own emotion (e.g., “Were you sad because…”).

Negative Verbalizations Disagree/Dispute/Challenge (Mparent = .91; Madolescent = .99) Verbal expressions disagreeing with or challenging the other’s judgment (e.g., “That’s not true” or “Did I say that?”). Verbal Put Down/Derogation (Mparent = .47; Madolescent = .23) Verbal expressions of personalized or unqualified disapproval of a person’s statements or unqualified negative emotion toward the person such as name calling, humiliation, threats, criticism, or blaming (e.g., “You always do it wrong” or “Get off my back”). Derisive Humor/Sarcasm (Mparent = .16; Madolescent = .23) Verbal expressions of mean-spirited humor at the other’s expense, intended to hurt the other’s feelings such as making fun of a person, exaggerating, or mimicking others with intent to humiliate (e.g., “You can’t even do this”). Coerce/Assert Dominance (Mparent = .63; Madolescent = .18) Verbal expressions demanding behavior change, or asserting force, authority, or power (e.g., “Talk back to me again and you’ll get your face slapped” or “You better stop hitting your sister”). Interrupts Other (Mparent = .48; Madolescent = .82) Verbal expressions explicitly attempting to cut off the other person in order to override what they were saying and to take over the conversation. Attempts to Change Subject or End/Stonewall Discussion (Mparent = .04; Madolescent = .29) Verbalizations attempting to change topic or end a topic (e.g., “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I’m done talking about that”).