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Childhood (Ages 7–13) n=7+8 parents |
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Half of the parents relayed their daughters’ current difficulties in accepting infertility.
“I’ve told her that she can’t have kids, but she won’t accept that. ‘When I grow up I’m going to have a boy and a girl.’” (Parent)
A number of adolescents, adults, and mature adults diagnosed between the age of 7 and 13 mentioned that they were devastated upon learning of their infertility.
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Adolescence (Ages 14–19) n=18+10 parents |
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The majority of adolescents who cited infertility as a concern mentioned being extremely upset and disappointed at the time of diagnosis, while a handful perceived childbearing as a future concern and/or anticipated increased grief as they aged.
“I think the hardest thing to deal with, as always being a person who loves kids, was the infertility issues …At the time I was 12, yeah, I was told that I wouldn’t be able to have kids. But I don’t think it hit me then. I think it came on me more gradually as I realized, oh my God, I’m getting older, I have a serious boyfriend since I was diagnosed.” (Age 19)
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11/18 teenagers in the study viewed adoption and in vitro fertilization (IVF) as positive alternatives to deal with infertility.
“…[I]t kind of still bugs me that I can’t have kids, but I figured out that I can adopt and so that doesn’t bug me anymore that much.” (Age 19)
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Adulthood (Ages 20–39) n=39 |
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Infertility posed the biggest challenge for this age group, especially once family and friends started having babies.
“…[E]very once in a while, you know, when you’re holding a kid and they’re snuggling up to your neck, I really thought, you know, I wish I could have kids. I wish I had the choice.” (Age 31)
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A couple of adults made the distinction between infertility as solely a personal difficulty versus an obstacle that must be overcome by their partners.
“[A]ll of a sudden, this person I wanted to spend my life with was going to have to go without seeing a baby that was like him. And that was just devastating. I mean it was very, very, very, devastating.” (Age 24)
27/39 adults viewed adoption and IVF as viable alternatives, yet their inability to have a biological child remained a source of sadness.
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Mature Adulthood (Ages 40–59) n=29 |
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The majority of women in this age group remained deeply affected by their infertility, feeling they missed out on an important part of being a woman.
“[Women]…get flowers and they get honored because they’re a mother, but I don’t --you know, I feel, does that make them a complete woman because they were able to have children? And I couldn’t, so I must be incomplete.” (Age 40)
A minority of mature adults claimed infertility was not a concern since they were either not married, did not want the responsibility of children, or did not feel childbearing was ever a guarantee.
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