Table 1. Content of Conduct Norms Regarding Adult–Child Relationships in Conventional Society and in Severely Distressed Households.

Domain of behavior	“Ideal” in conventional society	Severely distressed households
Child conception	Child conceived intentionally	Children “happen,” most not wanted
	Child anticipated as an “expense”	Child sometimes planned to obtain transfer payments
	Unplanned child will be loved/nurtured	Children may be called “mistakes” during childhood
Birth father's role	Father acknowledges paternity legally and socially	Father's identity sometimes unknown by mother/family
	Father gives child his last name	Birth father's last name rarely given to child
	Father financially supports children	Father provides no money to support his children
	Father emotionally supports children	Father will rarely see children, gives no emotional support
	Father will live with his children	Father will not live with his children
	Father will never harm children	If present, father may treat children as he pleases
Birth mother's role	Mother will keep and raise children born to her	Drug-using mother will often not keep child
	Child is a primary possession and responsibility	Drug-using mother seeks to “give” child to someone else
	Mother uses income to support children	Drug-using mother will often spend $s on drugs, not children
	Mother is primary psychological parent of child	Drug-using mother will rarely relate emotionally to children
	Mother spends hours daily interacting with child	Drug-using mother spends little or no time with children
	Mother regularly cuddles and express love to child	Drug-using mother rarely holds child, seldom expresses love
	Mother always retains parental/guardian role	Drug-using mother encourages oldest child to assume parent role
Adult female and male sexual relationships	Man and women marry and stay married	Drug users rarely marry; if married, they often separate or divorce
	Man and women live common-law for years	Drug users may have common law partners, but often several
	Man and women have some affairs	Drug users usually have sexual affairs; man leaves household rapidly
	Unrelated male give money/other goods to family	Drug using male provide no $s, uses family's food and shelter
Adult caregiver role (other than birth mother) (sometimes birth mother)	Caregiver treats children like a mother	Caregiver “removes” child from caregiving by drug-using mother
	Grandparent(s) occasionally care for child	Grandparents/relatives often expected to assume parental role
	Caregiver loves/supports child	Caregiver resents having to care for another child
	Caregiver provides good food, shelter, health care	Caregiver provides marginal food, shelter, medical care to child
	Caregiver routinely expresses love in many ways	Caregiver rarely loves, cuddles, expresses affection to the child
	Caregiver constructs safe environment in home	Caregiver does not systematically protect child from harm
	Caregiver ensures that school work is done	Caregiver does not help child with school work or education
	Caregiver carefully screens temporary helpers	Caregiver temporarily allows unrelated persons to care for child
	Caregiver has enough income to support child	Caregiver often wants welfare/foster care payments for child
	Caregiver provides direct instructions to child	Caregiver expects child to learn tasks by “paying attention”
	Caregiver has child trust authorities/agency staff	Caregiver warns child not to trust/speak to staff of agencies
Child's roles	Child learns age-appropriate tasks/behaviors	Child given little or no training in age-appropriate tasks
	Oldest child supervised by parent	Oldest child becomes “most responsible” person in household
	Parent always responsible for child's care	Oldest child takes care of parent and household by default
	Oldest child helps, not responsible for siblings	Oldest child often care for younger children
	Child often interrupts adult talk/activities	Child learns to be “seen” but not “heard” by adults
Emotional relationships between guardian and child	Child trained to plan a long, productive life	Child does not expect to live long, and to die young
	Child learns that current life affects future	Child does not learn that current activity will affect their future
	Child uses/trusts adult(s) as resources	Child learns not to trust adults and that adults have no resources
	Child learns to express love to guardian	Child does not express love/affection to parent/guardian
Child and family contacts with outsiders and agency staff	Child honest/open with agency staff	Child conceals and enables illegal behaviors of guardian/adults
	Child is loyal to family and its history	Child taught to keep many family behaviors secret from outsiders
	Child helped to plan how to access good jobs	Child does not plan for future in conventional society
	Child gains access to legal support systems	Child cannot learn to use “conventional means” to get legal jobs
	Child can seek help from service providers	Child learns never to seek help for problems from service providers