Box 5.

: Knowing and not knowing

• The researcher visits Mr L at home. He is dying. Mrs L tells the researcher, “I've now accepted the fact that it's over. When the doctor told us two weeks ago that the tumour had become resistant to chemotherapy and that nothing could be done anymore, I suddenly realised how serious the situation is.”
• “Did you not know it before?” asks the researcher.
• “How shall I say it. I knew and I didn't know. When he got ill, the doctor said that he had a tumour that had spread and that he never would get better. But then they started to talk about chemotherapy. I thought thanks goodness, something can be done about it. And I held on to that. It really didn't sink in. Later on I thought he's going to get better, otherwise they wouldn't go to all this trouble for him, would they? He got a lot better and everything was going fine and I was full of hope again. I thought it's all going to be all right. The day the doctor said that the tumour had come back for the third time and that there was no treatment option left, I suddenly realised the truth.”