“I’m sure you don’t realize this, but…”
“You are very important to this organization.”
“I could be wrong here.”
“May I explain what I’m seeing and get your point of view?”
“Right now, the way you do X would be considered risky or a departure from the standard of care.” (focus on safety, not competence)
“I value our friendship/relationship, and I want us to be honest with one another.”
“My understanding is X. Is that yours?”
“What do you think can be done about this?”
“When I bring up a concern, I see you tense up. Sometimes you cut me off or jump in with a disagreement. I think you stop listening and begin defending. You may not realize how you’re coming across, but that’s how it appears to me and others. Do you realize you’re doing that?”