1. |
Pain, sex, sleep. |
I am being raped. |
Repulsed, guilty, frightened, sick |
A metaphor for the loss of control due to the pain. |
Avoidance of triggers. I want to be a little girl, be looked after. |
2. |
Pain, thinking and talking about pain. |
Malicious demons play around my pelvis, pushing, pulling and scratching. |
Bitterly amused |
Pain is malicious, out to get me. |
Avoidance of physical activity. |
3. |
Pain, talking about pain. |
Bright operating room lights. |
Terrorized |
I'm going to die. |
Avoidance by filling mind with a substitution image (see text). |
4. |
Pain, anxiety. |
I see myself as a small curled up figure in a red pit, grasping upwards. |
Sad, helpless, anxious, tense |
Something is wrong with me, and I cannot fix it. |
Avoidance of many activities. I want to curl up and die. |
5. |
Pain, babies. |
In the hospital room, I see and hear being told I need a caesarean. |
Helpless and anxious |
Could this difficult delivery explain the pain? |
I cannot avoid the triggers. |
6. |
Pain, reminders of surgery or of menstruation, exercise. |
A gaping hole in my abdomen, where my uterus and ovaries were. It is much bigger than it can be in reality and impenetrable. |
Always sad, and at times angry or hopeful |
This hole is keeping the space open for my organs to come back. I have not accepted my surgery. |
Avoidance of triggers, restricting shopping and social interactions. |
7. |
Pain. |
A little man jumping on my lower abdomen. He is the pain. |
Helpless |
The pain is winning. |
Avoidance of many activities. Avoidance by filling mind with image of a number. |
8. |
Pain, social gatherings. |
My children are crying. |
Panicky, anxious and guilty |
I am not giving my children a nice childhood. I am disappointing them. |
Avoidance of triggers and activities with children. |
9. |
Pain. |
Different things that could be happening inside me (e.g., my intestine is tearing or unzipping, there are ulcers in the bowel, my fallopian tubes are twisting). |
Panicky while pain increases, then fed up. |
They might have missed something. My pain is too important to be explained by my diagnosis. |
Avoidance of many activities. |
10. |
Pain, movement. |
There's a heavy, grey lead ball where it hurts. The weight is surprising, given its size. It's dragging down, as if it was going to fall out of me, taking my insides out. |
Disgusted, horrified, revulsion |
Something is wrong. This gives a meaning to the pain. |
It brings up all my worries. I want to curl up in bed. |