Table 3.

Building Rapport

Strategies	Exemplar Quotes
Demonstrating High Esteem: FM described behaviors demonstrating that the nurse held the patient and FM in high esteem
Affirm Encourage to talk about patient	And [the nurse] asked about Memaw, like ‘what does she like to do’. [It was] personal, Memaw wasn’t just a patient. It’s like [this nurse] wanted to get to know her. I just felt like they care. That made me feel good about him/her taking care of her. It’s like if he/she wants to know this about her that he/she cares enough to ask, then I know he/she’s going to take good care of her… It’s hard to leave, but it makes it easier to leave knowing that they’re going to be taking care of her. (Granddaughter of P14, Single Interview, Day 6)
Negative Ask Why FM Not Visiting More Often Condescending	[That nurse] really talks down. ‘Ma’am I told you, this is.’ [This nurse] will repeat him/herself like, ‘are you not getting what I’m telling you?’ And it’s just the way he/she talks, and I don’t care for that at all. So, I go to bed kind of agitated myself. [The nurse was] very condescending on the phone last night when I called, like I was bothering him/her. Like if [the patient] was agitated, it was going to be a bother to him/her. (Wife of P11, Second Interview, Day 8)
Approachable: The FM described the nurses being open and warm in their interactions.
Acknowledge FM Encourage to Ask Questions and Call Listen and Hear with Thoughtful Attention Make Eye Contact Patience Willing to Engage Willing to Admit Mistakes	They’ve been super open…. really personable…I have no problem asking them, or feel like I’m interrupting them or they have taken time away from things they need to do. I get the sense that talking to the family is part of their job; they devote their attention to it. They might be doing other stuff while talking to you, but a lot of them just take time just to sort of, not sit down with you but stand there with you and look you in the eye and talk to you directly, as opposed to sort of while they’re doing something else or…(Husband of P4, Second Interview, Day 7)
	They explain, even if they had to explain it five times to me because I just couldn’t hear, I couldn’t think. Nobody acted agitated, or irritated, or no bad bedside manner, it was none of that. It’s so important because you are so raw right then…You find yourself buzzing, you don’t mean to, but…it’s because you’re sitting there waiting. And you would think that they probably think, ‘please quit hitting that buzzer, I told you we can’t do that right now.’ But, no they never were short, or…important. (Mother of P10, Single Interview, Day 2)
Negative Avoid Engaging Curt or Short Dismissive of Concerns Impatient	But I didn’t feel like I could ask him/her questions…When I…was back there, visiting Memaw, when he/she kind of sat at the computer, he/she was the only one that didn’t really speak when I walked into the room. He/she never came into the room when I was in there. But he/she was the only one that didn’t offer any information…I felt the vibe he/she was giving off was that he/she didn’t want to be bothered, that kind of thing…he/she didn’t really make eye contact, he/she didn’t acknowledge that we were coming, that we were back there. He/she didn’t say anything to us, so…(Granddaughter of P14, Single Interview, Day 6)
	I said ‘hi’ and called this person’s name, ‘how’s my dad doing,’ and the response I got was exactly this ‘well the same as any other day.’ I'm like ‘you sorry sack of shit, I want to drive to [name of hospital] right now; my dad is going to get in trouble overnight.’ So the fact that he had to be intubated that morning does not surprise me at all. Oh I wanted to get in the car…I knew it was out of my hands and it was in the hands of somebody less than competent, and it made me feel extremely vulnerable and helpless as someone who cares about that patient laying in the bed, vulnerable and helpless…(Daughter1 of P13, Second Interview, Day 8)
Affable: The FM describes the nurse as friendly, open, and engaging
Personable Physical Touch/Closeness Make Small Talk Use Humor	They are all very friendly when I walk back there. They don’t know me, but they all speak as if it matters that I’m coming through. ‘Hi, how you doing? And if there is anything we can do for you be sure and let us know.’ And that’s very important…I feel like I wouldn’t hesitate if I needed them for something, to ask. (Sister of P5, First Interview, Day 5)
	And you know being an only child and trying to face this all day long most days by myself, I need that, I need those nurses to care. I need those doctors to care, and I need those doctors to care about me because most of the day, I don’t have that family support to grab a hold of. And I know that if I need to go back there and cry, somebody’s going to hug my neck. (Son of P14, Single Interview, Day 5)
	And the nurses kind of like…you’ll hear them chuckle, or they’ll say something to him ‘did you hear what she said’ or something like that… I mean they don’t carry it on, but they do lighten the load some. I like that. I don’t want everything to be doom and gloom…I never feel stressed, I never feel tight, I never feel anxiety or anything when I’m in there. (Sister of P9, First Interview, Day 3)