Table 5.

Excerpts illustrating themes – BCS interviews

Learning to ask the right questions

✓ It helped me out a lot. She gave me a lot of knowledge, and stuff like that. And anything I don’t understand, she gave me, you know, she said, just ask questions if I don’t understand. Ask questions, don’t just sit back and, oh, ok. So now she’s got me asking questions, especially when it comes to my health.

✓ She told me to ask questions. Of every person that is taking my blood or doing a test, or the doctors and nurses. She told me that I have to ask questions when I don’t understand. And before, I really would just do what they told me to do, without knowing why. They said to take a medicine, I took it, and they said, you know, to go here for this test, and I did it. But I never asked why. I just went, and was angry when I didn’t understand what I was doing.

✓ Now I ask questions all the time. I make extra appointments if I don’t feel right. I never wanted to ask for help.

Start living life again

✓ It helped me stop being so depressed. Stop being so down. She taught me, uh, to start living. To be myself, you know, to start back dressing, and everything else. Stop laying around and feeling sorry for myself and stuff like that, you know, cause there’s no purpose for that. You know, so that’s what I’m starting to do, I’m starting to live.

✓ She was telling me that there’s other things out there that we can do, you know, support groups and all that, and, um, ever since then, you know, I’ve been looking forward.

✓ I, just like last week or so, I had bought these pajamas, and it comes down to here (points to thighs), and I said, I’m gonna put these on. So my girl, she said, where’d you get that? And I said, I done had this, and she said, you look real nice in it.

Shifting my perspective

✓ The one thing that I’m taking away, you know, is knowing that I’m not the only one. That there’s people that was worse than I am. And it’s making me realize to stop feeling sorry for myself, you know.

✓ And every woman went through their battle, but every woman was none less than the other. Because what I went through is any less than anyone else, to me, you went through your battle, and you have mental scars, I have physical. One is no less than the other.

✓ I was pretty depressed before. I felt like what I was going through was terrible, and I said, why me? And then I talked to her about it, and she said that she never asked herself that question. She said that she said, why not me? And she’s right, you know? It might as well have been me than anyone else, and then things changed. It’s like the light bulb happened. And I didn’t feel so terrible anymore.

Wanting to give back

✓ And then wanting to help others and stuff, too. She makes me want to go out and speak, you know, and stuff. She got me feeling like I could go out and do talks and stuff now, to people now.

✓ How blessed I feel now that I’ve heard her story and can start to share mine with others.

✓ I’m really looking forward to giving back, now that I know my journey isn’t as bad as it could have been. I want to give to other women who are going through this.

Home visits are powerful

✓ I could have did it for, like, 2 days out of a week. Yeah, but I would have preferred all home visits instead of the phone calls.

✓ I would do all home visits. I really got a lot out of sitting with her, and we talked and talked, and I really found that to be really helpful. The phone calls were ok, but the home visits really helped because I looked forward to them. Man – we had some really great times.

We both have a journey: support from someone who has been there

✓ Wish I would have met her when I was diagnosed. Somebody who’s been through it. Or even she went through it, and I would have known what to expect. And then, she’s a good inspiration as well. I would have wished I would have met somebody like her a long time ago.

✓ To tell you the truth, I didn’t think I needed it. I was like, please, I don’t need this. I got my family’s support. But it aint NOTHING (emphasis) like support, too, of another woman who has been through the same thing. I can get the support of my family all day long, but they can’t give me something that I want to hear from someone who has been through what I’ve been through. You need to hear that, you know what, I hadn’t been through what these women been through. That would give me more courage, and it would make me feel more better.

✓ We need to have someone who has gone through it. My boyfriend doesn’t understand, and my children don’t understand, even though they are supportive. I needed to hear from another woman who had been through it. That’s why we are so close now – we both have a journey.

✓ She told me about all of the things I could expect now that I was finished with treatment. And I really felt like she was giving me so much information so that I could be prepared. That’s the thing. I felt so good about it, because before, they just say, congratulations, you’re done with chemo. And now, I really knew that it was okay that I wasn’t feeling great, that I wasn’t happy all the time. I thought something was wrong with me before, but she told me that it’s all totally normal. Man. It made me feel so much better.

✓ Yeah, cause some people might be like me at first, all shy, and quiet, and didn’t really want to say nothing. It took time, to break me out like that (PN nods her head). She broke me out of my shell.

Abbreviations: BCS, breast cancer survivor; PN, peer navigator.