Table VI.

Violence perpetrated against non-partners

Quote #	Speaker	Narrative
17	30-year-old Latina. Alcohol at 14, then cocaine, meth at age 14–15	The men that I slept with treat-, treated me different. You know, no more, like, they didn’t—be more less kind and, you know, and loyal, no more, and let me alone. They’d say, it’s like when that third time, when they’re ready, when they want to, you know … [Were they violent?] … Yes, some were, some were violent, yes, some were violent. There’s times I didn’t wanna, you know, be with them and, and they’d force me to have sex with them. They forced it. And it was scary, but I don’t know why I still, you know … I don’t know, it’s just for the drugs, you know, this, this meth gets you. [So, were you starting to, like, look pretty bad, and …?] Yes. Where I wouldn’t want to take showers, you know, in the same ole dirty socks, and, and just—started picking at my face and get scarred up. [So, but at this time you still, like, kept in touch with parents? Or they found you? Or, I mean, how did they …?] I wouldn’t wanna call them. They were always, well, actually, when I was out on the streets, already, towards this, this, in this end, I would stop by their house and they wouldn’t wanna open the door for me. And I would get violent, you know, yell out things, you know? Say ugly things to them and to my son—push him away from me. They didn’t wanna let me see my son and … [They were taking care of him?] … Yes, they had him from when he was born, and, this, this just got real ugly.
18	30-year-old Latina (same as above)	The drugs made me violent. I know that it was—the drugs made me violent. [Toward at anyone, or toward men, or …?] Just, I guess, just my family, like they say, you know, we, we … [Hurt the ones you love?] … people who care about us and love us, you know, we’re—those are the ones we treat bad, you know? We hurt them, and—just my family. [Just like actually, like more violent with, with things, or with physically hurting people, or more like throwing things, or breaking things, or …?] Throwing things and, and putting my hands on them, sometimes.
19	23-year-old White. MJ, alcohol at age 12; tried meth at 13, started using at age 16	[And did it ever make you violent?] Oh yeah. I mean, I already had the urge … oh yeah … I already had like anger issues. I don’t know how to control my temper, but being under the influence of meth? I’d stay up for like 3 days, I just wanted to go out and fight … I went to juvenile hall for beating up my mom and beating up a couple of other people and my best friend’s husband. And it was, it was because of meth. I know that I wouldn’t have reacted the way I would’ve if I wasn’t high. You know? But even like I said, you know, last semester, I was discharged after almost 2 months clean for fighting a girl, you know, ‘cause I just, I lose my temper. [Over things that people say about you?] Yeah, it was over what some girl said about me. She was calling me a “little white bitch” and, you know. The majority of the girls here are Mexican, so I had to, had to do something. [Defend yourself?] Yeah, so. But normally when I’m using, nobody has to do anything wrong. I just snap. I just lose control.
20	28-year-old Latina. Alcohol at age 12, MJ at 15; tried meth at 15, started using at age 17–18	I didn’t think [my boyfriend] was worth losing my kids permanently for. [In terms of being violent toward them?] Yeah, ‘cause I’ve done that. I’ve damaged cars, houses … Especially if under the influence, I can go on mean stalking surges here—missions and stuff and go look for this man and when I find him I’ll hurt him and her. I’ve done it and he still comes back, ‘cause he knows, you know, he’s in the wrong.
21	24-year-old Latina. Alcohol, MJ at age 12; meth at age 13	[So do you think the, do you think the violence was all drug-related?] Yeah … everything was drug-related— everything. Everything was because of the drugs. The drugs changed you. It, it changed me. I was never like, I don’t know, man, if anybody got in the way of my dope, I’d fuck them up. ‘Don’t screw with my dope. Don’t fuck up my high or you’re gonna get your face smashed in, pretty much.’ And it turns you—it turns you to an evil person. You’re doing things you’d—I was doing home invasions, I was selling it, like driving from Mexico to over here. I mean, I did a lot of stuff. I just don’t like talking about it, ‘cause I’m ashamed of it. I mean, when I was pregnant … I would go in [when] people [were] getting their house fumigated and go in with a gas mask and rob them. You know? Done a lot of stuff that I’m not proud of. Hurt a lot of people that I’m, I’m not proud of ‘cause I’m not that kind of person. I’m not a mean person and it turned me really, really mean.