Table 4.

Qualitative themes of the process of change and corresponding quotations of patients and partners.

	Positive examples	Negative examples
1. Standing still	I got a more peaceful feeling more relaxed, a clearer mind. I always left with a good feeling. (Patient)	I couldn’t relax at all. (Partner)
2. Being aware	What do you do that you like and what do you do that you don’t like; how do you react to this and how could you react. Yeah, that’s what you do and what you notice. (Partner)	I don’t want to be continually reminded of it. A couple of weeks ago I thought, ‘I do have this disease, but I don’t feel anything’. I especially think that on good days. But then ten people say, ‘Yes, you are sick’. That is very difficult. (Patient)
3. Insight	Especially since I notice from myself that I tend to go on as if there’s nothing wrong. Just to feel as little as possible, because that makes it easier, no matter how difficult the situation is. (Partner)
4. Letting go	That I can let go of more things, that I shouldn’t be occupied with it. That I think, ‘not now’. I used to be ‘go, go, go’ – I now have the peace so that I don’t have to rush. (Patient)	As long as you’re together, you’re together. I don’t leave him home alone. No, others might think completely different about it. A bystander says, ‘You should do other things’. I do that – I go shopping and go to friends. But to say now, ‘I’d like to go away for a few days’, no, then I wouldn’t be at ease. (Partner)
5. Changing behaviour	There came a time when it helped me to talk with my wife about it. It also got easier to talk with my children about it. […] That is a real joy. I can expose my feelings to my wife and vise versa. (Patient)	I can’t change myself anymore. It was also in the training: you have to do this, you have to do that … but it doesn’t work that way. My age probably plays a role – they say, ‘You have to do this’, but I don’t have to do anything. (Patient)
6. Acceptance	I can’t do much physically anymore. At the time, that was quite confronting, but that’s more than a half a year ago. There comes a time when you just have to accept it when it happens. (Patient)	If I’ve been awake for a half hour, then I know how my day will be. Will it be good or will I be extremely tired again. If I’m tired, then I just go from couch to couch (bench to bench). Then I get very angry at not being able to do anything. (Patient)