Table 3.

Illustration of Distance between Women’s and Men’s Ideals within Two Couples in the Sample

Ideal Relationship Script: Female		Ideal Relationship Script: Male
CONCORDANT: RUTH AND THANDIZO
We told close friends that we were a couple.		I gave my partner a present.
My partner gave me a present.		We decided to get married.
We decided to get married.		We told close friends that we were a couple.
I gave my partner a present.		I gave my partner a present.
My partner met my parents.		I met my partner’s parents.
I met my partner’s parents.		My partner met my parents.
We had a traditional wedding.		We had a traditional wedding.
We had a civil wedding.		We started living together.
We started living together.		We had a religious wedding.
We had sex.		We had a civil wedding.
		We had sex.
DISCORDANT: EVELYN AND SIMON
We decided to get married.		We met somewhere to chat in private.
My partner gave me a present.		We got tested for HIV/AIDS.
We told close friends that we were a couple.		We told close friends that we were a couple.
I gave my partner a present.		We walked around alone together as a couple.
My partner met my parents.		We attended a community event together.
I met my partner’s parents.		I gave my partner a present.
We had a civil wedding.		My partner gave me a present
We had a traditional wedding.		We decided to get married.
We had a religious wedding.		We had sex.
We started living together.
We had sex.

Note: The relationship sequences read in descending order, starting with the top and ending with “We had sex.”