Table 1.
Contact and quality of relationship with surrogate and egg donor.
| Variable | Surrogate (n = 40), n (%) | Egg donor (n = 36), n (%) | χ2 | Illustrative quotes (SU = surrogate, ED = egg donor) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Met since child born | 25.34, P<.01 | “We went to visit once with [child] shortly after he was born and then again after [other child] was born. We wanted her parents, her mom, to meet the boys as well.” (ED) | ||
| Yes | 33 (83) | 9 (25) | ||
| No | 7 (17) | 27 (75) | ||
| Met in past year | “She visited us maybe 6 wk ago for 2 or 3 d and her daughter has spent a couple of weeks with us in the summer twice, and her and her husband have come another time.” (SU) | |||
| Yes | 21 (53) | 2 (6) | 19.79, P<.01 | |
| 1–2 times | 15 (71) | 0 | ||
| 3+ | 6 (29) | 2 (100) | ||
| No | 19 (47) | 34 (94) | ||
| Contact maintenance | 23.25, P<.01 | “We have only minimal contact with the egg donor, so I send them an e-mail maybe once or twice a year with some pictures, just to stay in contact…” (ED) | ||
| Contacta | 34 (85) | 11 (31) | ||
| 21(62) | 6 (55) | |||
| 14 (41) | 3 (27) | |||
| Cards/gifts/flowers | 11 32) | 2 (18) | ||
| Text message | 10 (29) | 1 (9) | ||
| Phone | 9 (26) | 0 | ||
| Skype | 3 (9) | 0 | ||
| No contact | 6 (15) | 25 (69) | ||
| Met family | 19.93, P<.01 | “…we had a ceremony for a Jewish tradition, a Rabbi blesses the baby and gives [the baby] a Hebrew name and we paid and flew her and her sons to come up for that.” (SU) | ||
| Yes | 27 (68) | 6 (17) | ||
| Siblings, parents, etc. | 18 (66) | 6 (100) | ||
| Weddings | 4 (15) | |||
| Baby showers | 5 (19) | |||
| No | 13 (32) | 30 (83) | ||
| Happy with level of contact | “I would be fine if it was more but I'm not bothered that it is what it is. I would not want there to be less. As I say it's just so marvelous when we do get together, it's just terrific, she's just wonderful and her husband is great. We're big fans.” (SU) | |||
| No contact | 6 (15) | 25 (69) | ||
| Contact | 34 (85) | 11 (31) | ||
| Content | 11 (32) | 3 (27) | 4.17, P<.05 | |
| Neutral | 21 (62) | 4 (36) | ||
| Discontent | 2 (6) | 4 (36) | ||
| Quality of relationship with parent A | “We have a great relationship, she is like a relative to us. …We're very close to her husband. It was a real bonding experience for us, I think they're probably some of the closest people to us really.” (positive relationship SU) | |||
| No relationship | 6 (15) | 25 (69) | ||
| Relationship | 34 (85) | 11 (31) | ||
| Positive | 18 (53) | 6 (55) | .03, P=.57 | |
| Neutral | 15 (44) | 5 (45) | ||
| Negative | 1 (3) | 0 | ||
| Quality of relationship with child | “Like when anyone comes over to the house, who's someone special, [child] gets along with all of them, like a special visitor. She and her husband are our special visitors, he doesn't react to her any differently than he does with other special visitors that we have.” (neutral, SU) | |||
| Not seen child after birth | 7 (17) | 27 (75) | ||
| Met child | 33 (83) | 9 (25) | ||
| Nonexistent | 7 (21) | 5 (56) | ||
| Close | 7 (21) | 2 (22) | .04, P=.85 | |
| Neutral | 10 (31) | 0 | ||
| Distant | 8 (24) | 1 (11) | ||
| Missing | 1 (3) | 1 (11) | ||
a
Some fathers engaged in multiple methods of contact maintenance, thus percentages do not equal 100.