Table 4.

Lessons learned on the short-term

Short-term effects	Total n	Subthemes	Subtheme Total n	Example quote
Insight and acknowledgement	13	Better understanding of the situation (psycho-education).	10	“There were many emotions that I recognized, as you know, but reading about them made me think, ‘Yes, that’s how it is.’ Like the expression ‘emotional roller coaster,’ which suddenly appeared to be true also for me. One is familiar with the phrase, but then suddenly it becomes part of one’s life.”
		Experiencing acknowledgement and recognition.	8	“I also felt confirmed in my feelings. So I am not crazy, this is normal, this is a phase in my life and a process to go through and that all people in my situation have to face.”
		Confirmation of their ability to cope with a difficult situation.	4	“I felt like I had done really well. By following the course, I discovered that this feeling of mine had been quite right, for things did indeed go well.”
ACT- and self-compassion-related	11	Be more (self-) compassionate.	7	“So indeed, if I remember what was said, you know like ‘Do not demand too much from yourself,’ ‘Take time to relax,’ and the other sources of help, then I think: ‘Yes, that is right.’ It really helped me a lot.”
		Be more mindful.	7	“It was really good to sometimes be really quiet, just to listen for a moment and feel my feelings and be quietly present to myself for some time.”
		Creating distance from your own thoughts.	5	“It was like letting your thought-factory go on a holiday, so to say. I put [the mindfulness exercise] on my mp3 player and sometimes took it with me to bed. So when I could not sleep, I would play it.”
Guidance and solutions	9	Guidance to improve communication.	8	“They were very difficult subjects about which we first explored independently from one another. We then talked with each other about our answers.”
		Helpful solutions.	3	“Those exercises helped me to experience my meetings with friends as relaxing. And indeed, why wouldn’t you share your worries?”
Positivity	6	Positivity.	6	“Well, we consciously looked at what we had done together, also at the positive things, even though it was not all that positive. Still, we said: ‘We haven’t done so badly, you know?’ Small things, they don’t need to be so big.”
Attention for me as a partner	5	Moments for myself.	3	“Those are the moments you hold on to, you know? When you think: ‘Yes, how wonderful! I feel so relaxed now.’ Those are the moments, during the short time one has, that you try to make your own.”
		Telling my story.	3	“The course really helped, because I was able to talk and write about it and thus gain distance from it all. In daily life one meets so very few people with whom you can share your story. And in this case, I was able to share it.”
		Structure.	1	“It provides one with so many handles. And also with some structure in all the chaos, so to say.”