Turkey
Type: Large, bald headed, North American gallinaceous expert now domesticated and kept in many parts of the world by large pharmaceutical companies
Plumage: Embarrassing ties. Brownish, iridescent feathers
Voice: Gobbling. Naive. Frequently a flop
Habitat: Expensive condominiums in the city and large country estates
Mating habits: Well kept mate and chicks
Migration patterns: Always first class, paid for by the company
Droppings: Good for guano. Fertilises stocks and shares