Table 2.
Basic tasks for parents and strategies to promote them
| Task for Parents | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. Love and Connect | 2. Monitor And Observe | 3. Guide and Limit | 4. Model and Consult | 5. Provide and Advocate |
| Description | ||||
| Teens need parents to develop and maintain a relationship with them that offers support and acceptance while accommodating the teen’s increasing maturity. | Through a process that involves less supervision and more communication, observation, and networking with other adults, teens need parents who are aware of and let teens know they are aware of their activities, including school performance, work experiences, after-school activities, peer relationships, adult relationships. | Teens need parents to uphold a clear but evolving set of boundaries that maintain important family rules and values but also encourage increased competence and maturity. | Teens need parents to provide ongoing information and support about decision making, values, skills, goals, and interpreting and navigating the larger world by teaching through example and ongoing dialogue. | Teens need parents to not only provide adequate nutrition, clothing, shelter and health care but also a supportive home environment and a network of caring adults. |
| Strategies for Parents | ||||
| Watch for moments to show affection | Keep track of your teen’s whereabouts: WHO they hang out with WHAT they are doing WHERE they are WHEN they will be home | Maintain family rules | Set a good example | Network within the community |
| Acknowledge good times | Keep in touch with other adults | Communicate expectations | Express personal positions | Make informed decisions about school |
| Expect increased criticism from your teen | Involve yourself in school events | Choose your battles | Model the kind of adult relationships you would like your teens to have | Make similarly informed decisions about extracurricular activities |
| Spend time simply listening to your teen | Stay informed about your teens’ progress | Use discipline as a goal | Answer teens’ questions in ways that are truthful. | Arrange or advocate for preventative health care |
| Treat each teen as a unique individual | Learn and watch for warning signs | Restrict punishment | Maintain or establish traditions | Identify people and programs to support and inform you as a parent |
| Appreciate and Acknowledge your teen | Seek guidance if you have concerns | Renegotiate responsibilities and privileges | Support your teen’s education and vocational training | |
| Provide meaningful roles for teen in the family | Monitor your teen’s experience | Help your teen get information | ||
| Spend time together | Evaluate the level of change | Give teens opportunities to practice reasoning and decision-making. | ||
| Key Messages for Parents | ||||
| Most things about their children’s world are changing, but don’t let your love be one of them. | Monitor your teen’s activities because you still can, and it still counts. | Loosen up, but don’t let go. | Parents still matter in the teen years and teens still care. | You can’t control your teen’s world, but you can add to and subtract from it. |
Data from Simpson AR. Raising Teens: a synthesis of research and a foundation for action. Boston (MA): Center for Health Communication, Harvard School of Public Health; 2001. Available at: http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/chc/parenting-project/.