Table 4.

Primary Theme II: Supporting Quotes for Clergy Professional Identify in Ministering to the Terminally Ill^a

Who Clergy Are (“Being”)
Presence
… as a Catholic priest we’ve got lots in our tool bag. I mean, there are lots of things we can do. And I think what I would encourage the priests that I work with now in my experience, presence is probably the greatest thing; frequent visits. And what we tend to slip into and I’ve even had brother priests say this, “well I anointed them so they don’t need me anymore.” Or, “I gave them communion.” It is like we did our thing and so I’m done. That, I guess I would say from our tradition, we feel those sacraments are great blessings but in a sense they’re only markers for the relationship that should be there certainly with Christ but with his church and with representing the church … To be present is probably the most powerful thing that the sacraments in our faith can work through.
—FGMJB416-E
What Clergy Do (“Doing”)
Facilitate religious activities
I would agree, that presence, being rather than doing, is so important but the physical touch, the holding of one’s hand or even placing your hand on someone’s shoulder, that physical connection, scriptures and particularly the psalms, those familiar passages that you know they are familiar with and that somehow can strengthen and draw them back to that time where the felt most at peace with God. We use music, I don’t sing but I have found that using smart phones as pulling up some YouTube video that has some old hymn of faith that draws them back to that time; that can be extremely powerful.
—FGMJB416-A
Provide spiritual support
Sometime I encourage them to write down their feelings. To be at peace with other people, also. If they are still holding grudges to other people or have enemies, it’s time to make peace. Or forgive or be forgiven. And I also encourage people to write about their life, about their experience; to leave some legacy. And I encourage people to pray. And I will tell them that you are not useless; even you lying in bed in a hospital. You are not useless; you can still serve people and serve God by praying for other people. So I will give them a sense of worthiness. You are still worthy. God gave you life and life is good. The reason why God still gives you life is that you can pray for other people, you can still serve them by praying for others.
—TC1030
I would sense that people are a little bit reluctant, even with terminal illnesses, to talk about dying. I will say that, I will bring it up gingerly if I think the situation calls for it and it’s often a relief for the patient to talk about it; to talk about both the process of dying but also the afterlife. I don’t think I’ve created senses of fear or misgivings, or that I made them give up hope by talking about dying. I feel like they’re almost always relieved, they feel better after those conversations. The challenge for me is when to bring it up and I don’t have a magic answer for that, it really depends on the family and the patient.
—RT111414
Meet the needs of the patient and family
… there is so much focus on the person dying, but in my mind there is so much also with the family that is by the bed, the family that is in the waiting room … there is equal importance in ministering to them because they are the ones that are grieving afterwards and you can really have a profound impact on them and their faith as you are witnessing and ministering to the person who is dying.
—FGMJB416-K
Mistakes to avoid
Trying to preach to somebody who’s dying. Trying to convince somebody to adopt a theological position while they’re dying is unforgivable. The sole role of the clergy at that time is to comfort the family and the person who’s dying. They’re in a state of transition and we’re there to serve them.
—RT0819
What Clergy Believe (“Believing”)
Having a relationship with God
Then they will ask me are they really saved? Are they in good standing with God? So my part is to confirm their faith and assure them that, yes, you are in good standing with God because you are saved by faith not by works … So as a minister I will walk with them and just hand-holding and assuring them that this life is not the whole part of us. And we still have afterlife and we are certain that we are going back to God. And just assuring them that there is eternal life for us and helping them to seek the balance of seeking treatment and accepting death; especially for terminally ill patients. On the one hand, I will tell them that God can heal you at anytime if he chooses because God is a God of miracles. But on the other hand, this may be the means of God calling you home. There will be an illness that cannot be healed. And that incurable illness is the tool of God calling you home. So, I will tell them to keep on praying, relying on God with peace in their heart, and God is still in control.
—TC1030
Nurturing virtues in illness and dying
I teach with … pastoral care to H-E-L-P. I let them vent, and in a general sense, give me the History of your anger, when did it start, what were the circumstances around it, Then the E is I let them express the emotion, and I affirm it. And the L is I legitimize that emotion. I don’t blame you for being angry. The same thing, and any person in these circumstances would be angry, because it hurts, it’s painful, it’s uncertain. And then as they vent, and this does take time, we talk about what do we do with that anger; what are the causes, what specifically are you angry at or angry about. Is there room for forgiveness in there? Can you understand why these things are happening and why it’s not necessarily anybody’s fault? And can we get past it and can we get through it? And it’s just forgiveness, it’s this understanding and acceptance, because some time there is no answer, it’s just the way it is, so I accept it. But it’s so much easier said than done …b The “P” is that we work on positive possibilities or possible solutions. The reason for the HELP is to make sure that the person has had plenty of time to communicate their situation in detail and their full emotions. Too many people want to solve the problem right away, so that it becomes about them, their expertise, their brilliance and their success as a counselor. The last thing most people want when they hurt is the quick, magic bullet solution. Not only does it minimize the person’s pain, it gives a false and simple hope. But this is the time to strategize together. My goal here is to inspire real hope and come up with a workable plan … even if it means let’s meet again.…
—MB107
Faith in eternal life
Being there for them, praying with them, comforting them through whatever decisions they make, encouraging them in that transition from where they are to where we’re promised we’re going, and letting them know that it’s more real. Eternity is more real than the time we spend here.
—RT729

^aParticipant identifiers that include “FG” indicate that the quote is from a focus group; the letter afterward indicates the specific speaker.

^bThe remaining portion of the quote was provided by the interviewee after the interview was completed by email to allow for clarity and additional elaboration of the clergy member’s idea.