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. 2018 Apr 3;47(4):604–610. doi: 10.1093/ageing/afy049

Table 2.

‘Altered relationship’ sub-themes and sample quotes

Sub-themes Quotes
Emotional distance
  • He is sort of emotionless, you know, so where you could have a kiss and a cuddle he is not up for a kiss and a cuddle. […] There is just no intimacy [in tears] and it’s difficult. [P09, PD-MCI]

  • Um, I don’t think we have a relationship. Um, we live together as man and wife, but there is no sexual, there hasn’t been for… 13 years. […] And there’s no intimacy of any other sort. […] Um, he, he doesn’t even hold my hand, you know, if you’re walking, or put his arm around, there is nothing… nothing at all. [P11, PD-MCI]

  • I wouldn’t say [the relationship] was any the less strong. I suppose you could say he relies on me more strongly now than ever he has done but I haven’t got him to rely on, you know. [P02, PDD]

  • There cannot be closeness when he doesn’t know who you are. [P07, PDD]

  • I just see myself very much as on my own but within a relationship where I can’t do much because I’m not on my own. [P06, DLB]

Role transition
  • Somebody has got to take care of him, I’m his only carer really. [P01, PDD]

  • I’ve just got this person that needs looking after, I haven’t got erm, a husband as such or a partner or a friend even, you know. […] I remember explaining this to somebody as it’s like having somebody else’s elderly uncle to stay. [P06, DLB]

Communication
  • I miss the conversations, the natters, the chatters, the just saying, ‘Ooo did you enjoy that?’ and talking about summat [something] you’ve watched, seen or done. […] We’ll talk, but it’s not a conversation. It’s sort of ‘yes, no’. [P11, PD-MCI]

  • You can’t have a proper conversation, you might be saying something to him and then he’ll answer you with something that’s nothing to do with what you are talking about. [P10, PDD]

  • My children have commented that he’s very quiet, he is going quieter as time goes by. [P12, DLB]