Table AII.

Subject position spouse as parent, person categories and category actions.

Subject position	Spouse as parent
Person Categories Participants
Person Categories Researcher	Mother	Facilitator	Expert	Supervisor	The good one	Constantly worker
Participants Categorized Actions	“I use to shower her”, “have a child”, “shower”, “so I smell”, “now I allow him to eat that…I don’t care if he does… He doesn’t die from it”	“stand beside to help them”, “now I allow him”,	“and tell and show”, “have you brushed your teeth’s?”, ”but you haven´t”, “No, but I know you haven´t”, “now I allow him to eat that”, “He doesn’t die from it“	“I´m here with you in the mornings and the nights”, have you brushed your teeth’s?”, ”but you haven´t”, “No, but I know you haven´t” “you haven´t done it”, “now I allow him”	“be up…and stand beside to help them‘- Have you brushed your teeth’s?’, ‘now I allow him to eat that’, ”I think he´s finished soon”,	“be up”, “used to”, “every day”, tired”, ” I´m here with you in the mornings and the nights”, “now I allow him to eat that”,
Researchers Categorized Actions	mothering, care, parenting, to know about her needs and see to that she got the daily care she needs	show, facilitate for your partner	can tell, listen, show, ask, explain, remember, ponder, interpret, valuate, argue, understand, solve problems, know what´s necessary, know when needed, only pick the fights worth dealing with, pick fights needed, qualified parenting, have knowledge, know about certain facts, competent, know what good parenting is	nag, supervise, govern, allow, protect	be there, are there, sustains, loyal, firm but not bossy, care, know when to be quiet, kind, patient, self-controlled, active, adjustable, flexible, inclusive, able to endure, trapped between own needs or wellbeing and others, able to put someone else’s needs or wellbeing in the front, handle remorse	never off duty, shadow your partner, tired