Table AIII.

Subject position spouse as survivor, person categories and category actions.

Subject position	Spouse as survivor
Person Categories Participants
Person Categories Researcher	the strong one	the healthy one	the stranger	the one that doesn’t exist.
Participants Categorized Actions	“It´s hard”, “now I start to cry, because I don´t have”, “I can´t talk to him like I would, because you doesn’t get any answer”, “I miss him, I don’t have the man I married today”, “I rather talk to the dog than him”, “It´s pointless to say anything”, “but send me to the care-home then”, I´m not allowed to feel bad”, “it´s just so”, “supposed to shut up”, “sit beside him”, I´m not allowed to feel bad because then he becomes moody”, I have to survive this so I have to do it then”, “I feel ashamed”, “like I´ve caused it”, “ “I´m frustrated”, “in some way you have to deal with that”, “I get scared when you talk like that”, “beat me to death”,	“I´m not allowed to feel bad”, “it´s just so”, “I´m a bit down and depressed so I think I have to go out and walk, get some pulse and endorphins”, “I have to survive this so I have to do it then”, “I have metastases in my back so I can’t run, by I can walk”, “I have treatment every third week… cytostatic”, “I´m not supposed to lift him up when needed, but I do it anyway”	“I can´t talk to him like I would, because you doesn’t get any answer”, I miss him, I don’t have the man I married today…, “I rather talk to the dog than him”, it´s a whole new world to me this”, “you´re very lonely at home, “he´s not my husband”, “I miss having a man”, “I have some dreams of having a life”, “it´s strange”, “this is my new assignment”, ““but that Mr. Alzheimer, you never know what he will get up to”	I can´t talk to him like I would, because you doesn’t get any answer”, “I miss him, I don’t have the man I married today “, “I rather talk to the dog than him, “It´s pointless to say anything”, “I´m not allowed to feel bad, “ it´s just so, “supposed to shut up”, “my life has disappeared”, “and now everything is gone”, “you´re very lonely at home”
Researchers Categorized Actions	try to carry grief and guilt, missing someone, lonely, alone, there´s not point, it´s just like it is, try to hide/contain when they aren’t feeling good/having needs of their own, have less needs than their partner, try to accept that they are the loosing part, be there”, survive, competent, stay surviving, being the cause to the disaster, carry hope, endure,, recapturing life if possible, there´s not point of looking back, afraid	want to/have the power to send the partner away, be and stay healthy, not sick, doesn´t compete with their partner about being the sickest one, hope that you will survive your partner,	alone in a relationship and to people in general and to professionals, their partner doesn’t recognize them, enters a whole new world, are a stranger and at the same time married to a stranger, doesn’t want to be a stranger in the future	be quiet, knowing/missing/grief that you lost your partner, alone, their partner doesn’t express awareness about their existents as a person, be the one that doesn’t exist in the same way as before