Table 2.

Framework for behaviour guidance, integrating ABC with The Incredible Years Parenting Pyramid® for ‘connecting and coaching’

Framework Level	ABC (31,33)	Parenting Pyramid® (8)
LEVEL 1 - PREVENTION – ‘CONNECT’ Create strong parent–child attachment and self-regulation (13,15) - Ensure basic needs (12) - Keep relationship time (13,14) - Develop child’s coping skills and positive behaviours (give empathy, reflective listening, comfort when sick or upset; show interest) (8,13,15,16) - Give opportunities for positive experiences (humour, fun games, hang out together, time with friends, recess, activities he/she succeeds at, attend his/her special events, respect need for autonomy where child is capable) (15) - Create social conscience (volunteer, donate food) (3,15) - Model how you would like child to act respectfully (3,12)	Antecedents Recognize situations at risk for behavioural break-down: - Immediate trigger (hunger, jealousy) - Situational precipitants (new sibling, chronic illness, lack of skill)	Initiate level 1 pyramid parenting skills and strategies: - Consider child’s needs and positive relationship building strategies - Provide one-one-one relationship time, empathy, reflective listening, play, problem-solving Benefits for child: - Attachment, self-esteem, cooperation, problem-solving - When parents focus more time on levels 1 and 2 than focusing on negative behaviours, there is less need for levels 4 and 5 and discipline goes more smoothly - Even children with frequent noncompliance usually show high levels of improvement using levels 1–4
LEVEL 2 - PREVENTION – ‘CONNECT AND COACH’ Teach skills, use reinforcement to increase positive behaviours (13,21) - Coach self-regulation and empathy (4,8,10,24) - Coach helping, manners, steps for self-care tasks and chores, remind child to use skills (13,21) - Have problem-solving conversations (4,14) - Praise specific desired behaviour, child’s effort to improve behaviour and to connect (“I feel good when you…”) (13,15)	Antecedents Recognize pattern: - Identify antecedents of problem behaviour - Modify where possible, to prevent undesired behaviour	Continue level 1 pyramid parenting Start level 2 pyramid parenting: - Praise, tangible reward system, coach, encourage appropriate behaviours Benefits for child: - Motivation, thinking skills, social skills
LEVEL 3 – PREVENTION – ‘CONNECT AND COACH’ Give clear rules, taught before needed and consistently used (13) - Discuss rules with child, have family meeting, ensure child clearly knows the rules regarding which behaviours are inappropriate (13,15) - Decide consequences together ahead of time and when they will be applied (13,15) - Be prepared for levels 4 and 5 response, with a well-learned approach to the specific behaviour, as it is often hard to act appropriately in the heat of the moment - Make sure all the child’s caregivers use the same approach (13) - Recognize that undesired behaviours can require interventions over a period of time before resolving (15)	Antecedents - Modify, where possible, to prevent undesired behaviour	Continue levels 1 and 2 pyramid parenting Establish pyramid parenting level 3: - Set routines - Have clear limits - Discuss rules so that consequences will be predictable - Be consistent with follow-through Benefits for child: - Obedience, predictability, responsibility
LEVEL 4 - IN THE MOMENT – ‘CONNECT AND COACH’ Modify intervention according to the child’s specific undesired behaviour - When coaching and assigning consequence, speak calmly, at or below eye level, respectful of child’s emotional needs and dignity (15) (1)Immediate supportive response: Ignore annoying behaviour (protests, complaints, rude remarks, disrespectful replies, interrupting) (13,15,16) When child clearly knows the rule - Give empathy when you foresee behaviour: “I’m sorry, but there is no screen time at meals” - If dysregulation, calmly give empathy “I can see you’re frustrated; I understand,” coach self-regulation to prevent escalation - Ignore after (“Why do we have to have this dumb rule? I hate you”) When rule not clear, young child - Give empathy, if needed coach self-regulation - Prompt once before ignoring “I know it’s frustrating. I’m uncomfortable with that language. Please say…” The prompt redirects to a positive opposite behaviour to support his/her decision-making. If child responds to the coaching, praise and re-engage “Thank you. My answer is…” - Bypass prompt when child always escalates from it (2)Immediate limiting response: Consequence (13,15) - Time-out for annoying behaviour when escalates to very strong emotional dysregulation, or extreme teasing, that does not stop from a couple of supportive prompts “(calm tone) It looks like it’s hard for you to think right now. Please go chill on the couch and then I’ll check back” - Time-out for more serious misbehaviour (physical aggression, throwing objects, property destruction, threatening, bullying, severe noncompliance) to let child know that his/her action is not acceptable “(supportive volume) No wrecking allowed. Please cool off for a few minutes and then we’ll talk” - Loss of privilege, or natural or logical consequence, for forgetting chores, stealing, lying, or refusal to go to time-out despite warnings “(respectfully) It’s not easy to remember to do your laundry when you’re excited to play your video game. I’m sorry you’ll need to forego the game today and do your laundry”	Behaviour - Identify undesired behaviour and its message (what does child need help with?) - Teach skill in advance to replace behaviour (prevention)	Continue level 1 pyramid parenting Institute level 4 pyramid parenting: - Ignore, distract, redirect Benefits for child: - Decreased annoying behaviours
LEVEL 5 - IMMEDIATELY AFTER – ‘RE-CONNECT AND COACH’ Process after level 4 consequence has been given and child is calm - Process the event; stay calm, respectful (4,13,15) - Restitution as needed (4,11) - Forgive child, rebuild your relationship as soon as consequence is given, start over with levels 1 and 2 (13,15) - To prevent inadvertent reinforcement after consequence, do not give in to what child wanted from the undesired behaviour; for noncompliance, repeat the command and follow through (13) - Level 5 may be hard for some parents—seek parent coaching from mental health therapist if needed	Consequences - Choose reinforcers to increase expected behaviour and to decrease undesired behaviour - Consequence may also be antecedent for the next behaviour	Continue level 1 pyramid parenting Initiate level 5 pyramid parenting: - Time-out, loss of privilege, natural and logical consequences - Time-out is only effective if used infrequently, in combination with frequent positive parental attention and reinforcement (levels 1 and 2) -Start by using levels 1-4 well - Reserve time-out for aggression, severe dysregulation, or residual severe noncompliance (disobeying the majority of parent commands in general); give time-out for a specific disobeyed command, before working on compliance to another command once the first has resolved) - Use time-out for only one misbehaviour, for a few weeks until less frequent, and then add time out for another misbehaviour Benefits for child: - Decreased aggression