Table 2.
Superordinate themes, subthemes, and illustrative quotes.
| Scheme | Subthemes | Illustrative Quotes |
|---|---|---|
| Losing one’s sense of self | Juxtaposition of the past and present self | “I used to be quite a powerful bloke, quite muscly. I’ve never took drugs or anything like that. I was able to lift quite a lot during the army and stuff like that. I was very powerful, but now I haven’t got the strength to lift anything. It’s like—I used to do a lot of boxing and stuff like that, but now I’m not” (Participant 05) |
| Loss of interest in hobbies and activities | “I mean I am very conscious of the fact that I just cannot motivate myself to get involved in my hobbies” (Participant 03) | |
| Loss of motivation | ‘’I used to love doing the job I did but then I started getting—I couldn’t be bothered going to it’’ (Participant 05) | |
| Loss of confidence | “I’m not worthy. I can’t do what I wanted to do…So, I feel like a failure. So, I just don’t bother” (Participant 05) | |
| Feeling like a burden | Fear of failure | “Now I don’t want to be involved in other people’s problems…I am afraid to get into other people’s problems in case I get it wrong.” (Participant 03)“Occasionally—I think I’ve let the wife down for one reason or another” (Participant 04) |
| Avoidance Behaviour | “I can do family meetings but I wouldn’t bother about anything that’s going on in the neighbourhood. If I thought about it, I couldn’t do anything about it so I try not to think about it, otherwise I’m worrying” (Participant 01) | |
| Pessimism | “I’m just scared what comes out of it, what the outcome nobody tells you or that type of thing” (Participant 05) | |
| Hindered by invisible obstacles | Background struggle | “A swan going along a lake, all serene, lovely, but underneath his feet are in complete confusion flapping around just to keep it afloat” (Participant 03) |
| Disruptive incidents | “I had started to do a painting and the telephone rang, I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know whether to stop the painting and answer the phone, if I answered the phone I forget where I was on the painting and I just wouldn’t carry on” (Participant 03) | |
| Stigma | “People tend to back away, they don’t want to talk to me and I think that’s not necessarily a bad reaction from me, it’s ignorance, they don’t understand it and they get the wrong impression” (Participant 03) | |
| What keeps me going | Desire to help | “Yes, if I can help somebody, I will help somebody and I’d do that even if I didn’t like the job I was doing but it was helping somebody” (Participant 06) |
| Maximising involvement | “I tried to teach my granddaughter how to do wood carving, that was great when I was trying to show her how to do it but I wouldn’t get up and do it myself” (Participant 04) | |
| Hobbies | “Most of my activities are doing jigsaws….because you get lost with the brain on it and if I get back ache and that then I can leave it for a bit and then lie there and then get back up again and start again” (Participant 01) | |
| Retention of habits | “If it’s something that is part of my life routine then I do them, I will probably do them without any forethought, I don’t have to think I need to go and get my breakfast specifically, it might take me longer some days than others because I just can’t be bothered to get out the chair, but they will get done” (Participant 03) |