Table 4.

Parental Ratings and Rationale

Participant	Parental Rating	Rationale for Ratings
D.J. (20, White)	(No rating given)	They’re fine. I haven’t really turned to my parents or relied on them as sex educators so I kinda like…whatever…they’re good.
I.H. (20, Asian)	5 (both)	I think they made it enough of an open space for them to say, “We know that these happen, we know that you’re doing this, we know you’re growing up” and therefore maybe making it comfortable for me to go on online and look it up, to watch MTV past midnight to figure out what they’re doing. So yeah, I think that’s kind of what I would say. For the grand scale of how much people should be doing, I think maybe a 5, very average.
T.R. (19, Latino)	3 (both)	They were really bad! (laughs)
M.W1. (20, Latino)	(No rating given)
T.H. (19, Asian)	3–4 (both)	Maybe, in actual practical information, pretty low…like a 3. Or 4 maybe including creating an open environment… But in that proactive side, they didn’t provide me [LGBT] information. I don’t know whether they have [the LGBT info] themselves… They definitely weren’t proactive about it.
A.J. (19, Black)	7 (both)	I would say … seven of ten. Because I think they did a lot in terms of explaining from an anatomical standpoint, hormones and stuff like that, and the social implications as well. But I feel like their lens was very much that conservative, straightforward lens and I wish they could have been more open and receptive to talking about things that weren’t necessarily that kind of route.
C.D. (19, Latino)	2 (both)	Like a 2. I got nothing!
G.C. (18, Black)	7+ (Mother)	It’s because she was just as real with us [although] she didn’t tell us her personal experiences with sex. Plus, she gets like a 7+ because she had condoms for us. And she was supporting safe sex.
	10 (Father)	He gets a 10 because he tells us the good and the bad. He doesn’t try and sugar-coat things. My dad just tells what it is, how he’s experienced it. And since he’s experienced a lot, he has a lot to tell me about. And although he’s only experienced a lot with girls, I mean, that’s one whole side of what I need told.
A.L. (15, White)	9–10 (Mother)	I think she’s very good at that [sex talk]. She received some kind of training on therapy and general communication skills so it’s kind of expected that she’d be good at talking about that kind of thing. Very open, very easy to talk to, has a lot of information if not everything.
	5 (Father)	I’d have to say 5 because he doesn’t give any misinformation or lie about anything. My Dad just doesn’t want me to have sex - he makes that clear. He doesn’t lie about anything. He just doesn’t want to talk about it.
D.S. (20, White)	5 (Mother)	I mean she didn’t really mention gay people at all.
J.H. (19, Latino)	1 or 2 (Mother)	She’s not so good.
	3 or 4 (Father)	I think for him it’s because he feels awkward talking to my sister about it, but if my sister were to be a boy he’d more comfortable with it.
C.W. (17, Black)	2 (Birth Mother)	She talked too much about the bible.
	12 (Foster Mother)	Probably a 12! She went into full details. Everything! She makes sure I have condoms and everything that I need.
J.S. (18, Latino)	5 (Mother)	In the ideal world where parents actually give their kids same-sex talks about same-sex interactions, I’d give her a 5. Including same-sex issues would never happen in my family. I don’t think my mom will ever, even if she considered my sexuality, she would never consider giving me a talk on gay sex.
T.R. (18, Black)	3 (Mother)	With Mom, we’ve hardly really ever talked about sex at all. But I would have to give a three just as a preliminary score for trying.
	<3 (Father)	I’d always score him lower than my mom because I don’t think he knows anything about anything besides penises ‘cause he has one. That’s pretty much it.
B.B. (18, White)	5 or 6 (both)	They didn’t directly teach specific stuff, but they did a good enough job. “Okay, try not to have sex before marriage. But if you do, be safe about it.”
L.W. (19, Asian)	2 (both)	I’d probably give them like a 2!! (laughing) They barely talked about it. And she’s a nurse!
J.F. (18, White)	4–5 (Mother)	You know, she’s never said anything about sex that would establish a damaging mentality. She hasn’t really said anything problematic about it, but the fact that she hasn’t brought it up is obviously not…She’s not really getting herself out there as a pro-sex educator so somewhere kind of in the middle [ranking].
	2–3 (Father)	Because he’s said less than Mom.
G.W. (16, White)	3 (Both)	I know she knows stuff, but it’s just she doesn’t talk about it. She obviously enforces “Use a condom. Use a condom. Use a condom.” They just mainly say, “Make sure you’re using a condom.” (laughs) I mean that’s basically the extent of their sex education.
R.J. (18, Latino)	−1 (Both)	Because it just barely happened.
J.D. (20, Black)	7 (Mother)	When she actually started being a bit more upfront about it, it was around the time when I kind of already had a lot of sort of information (laughs). So it didn’t feel like I necessarily needed to turn to her for anything. But it’s still been good for me to have her there to, like, have her in my corner to like talk to…as someone I could go to.
J.F. (20, White)	2 (Mother)	It was very shame-filled, it didn’t do a whole lot. She made it a lot more difficult for me to learn in any way because there was a lot of shame connected to it. So I think that had longer term repercussions. It just took a while for me to learn about sex because of that.
	6 (Father)	I mean it was fairly normal every time we talked about it, he has this sort of, he had the sort of dad thing. He didn’t really have to say a lot… It wasn’t because of a lack of communication -- it was just a very clear communication. He just made clear what the rules were or whatever, but he did it in a way where I didn’t feel shame about it.
B.S. (20, Asian)	4 (Mother)	Because she tries to encourage me to make good behaviors, but she doesn’t exactly say what those good behaviors are. Like her saying, “Be safe going to this event.” It’s like reminding me to make good behavior, but she’s not exactly saying what being safe entails.
	5 (Father)	Probably a five because he bought the condoms.
R.E. (20, Latino)	8 or a 9 (Mother)	Just because she doesn’t know a lot about the gay sex part of it. But she does try to do her best to answer my questions so I can appreciate that.
	Negative (Father)	Like a negative rating! (laughs) Because he’s never talked to me about it. Ever. He’s never brought it up!
A.W. (16, White)	(No rating given)
R.L. (19, Latino)	0 (both)	She can’t even say the word. And he just doesn’t have the courage to tell me about it. I mean, should I be the one to be sparking the conversation or should they be the ones to do it? That’s where I’m just like, “What do I do?” Because if I ask him, I don’t know what his reaction would be. I know what my mom’s reaction would be – “We’re not talking about that.”
A.V. (15, White)	4 (Mother)	Honestly, if I was not as like sleuth-y and logical as I am, I probably would not have known a lot of the stuff that I do.
	0 (Father)	He doesn’t talk about it.
M.W2. (19, Latino)	6 (Mother)	‘Cause she mostly talked about the heterosexual part of it, like pregnancy, which doesn’t really apply to me. I guess that’s her main concern, pregnancy. She doesn’t want me to bring a kid home. And I guess her second priority was HIV…I would give her a higher score if she would’ve talked to me about not just HIV because I had to do that on my own. It would’ve been nice for her to give me a little insight on other stuff and not me looking it up myself.
	0 (Father)	He doesn’t talk much.
M.S. (18, White)	0 (both)	I never received anything LGBT-related.
G.O. (19, White)	>1–2 (Mother)	I feel like she has made a big deal about condoms enough times I feel like she merits something above a one or a two. There was another time my Mom told me, “I saw an article in the newspaper about HIV in our county. We have the highest rates of HIV in Florida. Maybe, you know, just think about that.”
	3–4 (Father)	I’m trying to decide between a three and a four because I feel like he was so forthright with some of the sexual stuff he talked about that I appreciated that directness. He was forthright in the fact that when he told me that he had gay sex once, it was enough for me to realize, “Okay he let me into a very, very personal part of his life and was trying hard to help me even if it was some weird way. He was trying to help me. He genuinely opened himself up to me.”
M.E. (18, Latino)	6–7 (Mother)	I mean she actually did try to teach me about sex. I don’t think she didn’t teach me about like gay sexuality because …in her idyllic perfect heterosexual, middle class, family world, “My son’s not gay.” I think it truly never crossed her mind. She did the best she could given her experiences and her knowledge.

Some participants provided two separate ratings and rationale for each parent, others gave a single combined score for both, others refused to rate parents due to the infrequent sex talks they had, while still a few others chose to provide a rating just for mothers or fathers, but not both.