Topic 7 (MOUD experiences) |
Topic 1 (supply, shutdown) |
(Topic 7 -->68.70%; Topic 1 -->18.70%;) My city is in lockdown with shelter in place orders I just started MAT about a month ago at my clinic As of right now I am still having to go in for my daily dose and the nurses informed me that they are stopping UA s as COVID can potentially spread through urine feces so even though I have been clean I do not have the opportunity to prove that to them to work towards phasing up until the dust settles I spoke with my counselor today as I m a bit concerned since I live with several at risk people and I may be able to get takehomes because of this but I m not holding my breath and at the moment I will be going in for my daily dose indefinitely through the apocalypse Kinda upset about this but at least my clinic is still open and I am not completely fucked having to go without a dose at all Update went in this morning and they are giving everyone at least a week s worth of takehomes now they sent me off with takehomes and said they are probably going to give me weeks worth when I come in next |
Topic 5 (clinic, doctor) |
(Topic 5 -->62.92%; Topic 7 -->21.25%;) I m going to see my doctor today to refill my oxy script I m due for a refill on I m going to ask if he’ll let me fill it today so I don’t have to go back out I don’t have a car and I can only get to my appointment and pharmacy by subway which I really don’t want again in 2 days off I don’t have to I’ve been working from home since last week just to not ride the train Had anyone asked for an early script due to the COVID outbreak What did your doctor say |
Topic 9 (negative consequences) |
( Topic 9 -->80.87%; Topic 7 -->18.37%;) I disagree with what you re saying I do not think that just because some people shouldn’t be trusted this should give methadone clinics the authority to decide who gets the privilege of when and how to take this medicine Even one case of abusing this power is not worth keeping the bad methadone patients from having takehomes in my opinion You say covid deaths are preventable with medical care like this is a burden and risk those who can’t be trusted with takehomes should endure and just hope they either don’t catch it or can shoulder the massive medical costs if they don’t die That is ridiculous and devalues human life it is entirely preventable by clinics doing the right thing Sure diversion happens sure ODs happen this happens even more so with other much more widely prescribed opiates and you don’t see them controlling those the same way You need to get out of the mindset that we are all worthless junkies that cannot be trusted there is a global pandemic that millions are going to die from and this needs to change Lives can be saved if the attitude and laws are changed I do agree with what some of you are saying and maybe some people really can t or shouldn’t be trusted with takehomes but this is a public health crisis and life or death for some people things need to change Look at the amount of power and discretion some of these clinics have over people Human life that can be saved should be and just because there is a war on drugs attitude and enormous stigma against opioid addicts doesn’t mean that this treatment that has saved lives and society much larger burdens should be treated the way that it is especially now |
Topic 6 (withdrawal) |
Topic 3 (drug names) |
( Topic 7 -->41.16%; Topic 3 -->25.66%; Topic 6 -->17.91%;) So I ran out of my methadone days ago and have really been struggling with withdrawal I’ve been taking kratom along with any other type of opiate I could find None of them were really working not sure if the kratom was blocking them or I just wasn’t taking enough but I took IR release morphine ER morphine hydrocodone and oxys the most being mgs of oxy at once Anyway I didn t feel any type of high I m not even sure it gave me any relief from the withdrawals I take mgs of methadone and I ve been doubling it for a few years so needless to say my tolerance is really high Anyway today I was able to score some oxy s laced with fentanly I have never had fentanly so I cut them in half and wow I gotta say they were great This is the first time I have been able to feel any pills since I started methadone yrs ago Not only did they get me high but they completely took my withdrawals away Anyway I like an idiot called my counselor on Wednesday and told her I had messed up somehow and ran out I had gotten days worth due to Covid I didn t know what to do and I was really sick and I really thought they d help me But they would not help me I had told her I had only ran out since Tuesday Monday being my last dose and I get my refills tomorrow on Friday so days but in reality I ran out the prior Tuesday today Thursday being days And they would not help me so me confessing was all in vain she said if it was getting really bad I d have to go to the ER cause they would not dose me sooner So two questions if anyone has experience with this is this typical or if I would of told her the truth that I had been out for days at the time would they have dosed me or would it have been the same outcome And also I m sure I will be drug tested tomorrow what will happen once I piss dirty for all of the above I mean what did they expect me to do they wouldn’t help me and I was in hell She said my take homes would possibly be reduced to a weeks worth which I m sure that s only because of this COVID Does anyone know what the procedure is for my situation I m hoping and praying I don’t lose my take homes forever or I don t think I will stay in treatment I ve never had any issues prior I was a phase the highest phase they have I have maybe times in the years pissed dirty and lost my phase but than quickly got it back I just don t know what to expect tomorrow any info will be appreciated thx |
Topic 8 (C Topic 8 (COVID) |
( Topic 8 -->54.57%; Topic 6 -->37.43%;) Mate I’ve had the same thought I considered going out and trying to get infected I could go through withdrawal in hospital and it might not be so bad there Plus if I go on the ICU then they sedate you and maybe I’d be so out of it I could just get through the withdrawal and not remember much of it I considered doing it even knowing the ICU is a fatality rate But I decided against it I didn’t want to give more work to hospital staff and risk others etc Plus one of the girls I talk to on her caught coronavirus and ended up in hospital and she just got her partner to bring her the pills she needs in a sock So she didn’t detox at all lol
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Topic 10 (Recovery) |
Topic 3 (drug names) |
(Topic 3 -->70.86%; Topic 10 -->17.41%; Topic 4 -->10.52%;) Hey thanks for the link I’ll take a look And I totally agree whilst on the methadone I didn’t feel high but since switching to bupe I feel totally different so it must of been having more of an effect on me than I realized In hindsight I can see I had the tiredness like you said and it made me lazy too just like H did My fiancé calls it Diet Heroin because I still seemed like I was using when I was on it apparently just not as much The switch over was rough yeah I waited hours before taking my first mg dose as suggested by my addiction keyworker he was either far too optimistic with his timeline or just doesn’t like me because I spent days totally bed bound and only semi lucid with precipitated withdrawal but I expected it to be difficult so thought I might as well make the switch whilst I m stuck at home off work on furlough due to COVID restrictions Best decision I ever made it definitely feels like a much more suitable drug for what I want to get out of MAT All the best |
Topic 6 (withdrawal) |
( Topic 10 -->32.70%; Topic 5 -->30.00%; Topic 6 -->21.89%;) Day clean I finally slept last night it was the best gift I could get in my life My brain is still off but I m at least soonest feeling somewhat normal I m stressed about my Klonopin script my psychiatrist isn’t returning my calls because of covid I desperately need an apt I’ve been on it for years Last time I stopped taking my benzos I had a seizure Just want to catch a break lol I never even abuse my benzo script I have days to sort this out Trying to keep my mind clear of things to not worry about but it just doesn’t seem I can be able to What a cluster fuck life is I m trying to just keep positive |
Topic 9 (negative consequences) |
( Topic 10 -->71.78%; Topic 9 -->14.54%; Topic 5 -->13.22%;) I m back Again I got sober again back in August of last year after a series of vicious relapses and overdoses It was my fourth attempt at sobriety and quite literally I have been in either an inpatient facilities or sober living since I turned Thankfully most of that time has been in sobriety but times I haven’t been sober have been progressively more and more devastating I’ve traumatized my family and my girlfriend multiple times especially my gf who has been with me through every up and down but at times just barely This last time I got sober I was at that jumping off point where I so badly wanted all of the insanity to end but was convinced I could NEVER get better I just thought I was doomed until a series of extremely unlikely events happened at just the right time I hadn’t picked up since then and up until about a week ago my sobriety was different than any other period I’ve had before I was happy I had a fantastic support group a great sponsor my relationship strengthened I was a part of my family again I started going back to school and this month I finally started looking for apartments to lease For the first time I understood why people said they were grateful to be addicts those suggestions people gave me truly showed me this new way of life Then this virus started Now don’t get me wrong I do not blame those outside circumstances on my relapse but it was just this perfect storm of shit I work an essential job so I have been stressed about possibly exposing the people I love to COVID So I started to slightly avoid family Then I couldn’t hit physical meetings so I hardly was able to see my support group I couldn’t start making many amends I was working a step program so I felt stagnant in my program My girlfriend struggles with isolation not an addict though so our relationship was getting rocky And my dad started to drink again To put icing on the cake I couldn’t visit my doctor to get my monthly vivitrol shot anymore either Then the cravings hit BADLY I did what I’ve done so many times before I didn’t reach out I didn’t get vulnerable I tried to fight a fight alone that I know that I can NEVER win So tonight I drove down to the block and picked up for the first time in almost months I am begging myself to just use this once and by the time shit gets back to normal I’ll hop back on the wagon like nothing ever happened But honestly I hate myself more just thinking about that I just feel so fucked right now But on a good note this shit is fire and even only taking a key bump for safety I am smizzle smashed So I ll be back around for a bit
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