Overwhelmed “As a new nurse, people are just handing me meds from outside their room and the doctor just said over the screen what I was supposed to give and I'm like, I've never done this before. I feel I don't know what I'm doing…I think I just felt like overwhelmed and unprepared and scared and didn't know what to do.” “And then in November is when the COVID cases really started to kick in, and it became extremely exhausting and fatiguing.” “I remember the first time I took a BiPAP patient that was really on a significant amount of oxygen…a respiratory therapist was in the room and I said…”I don't even know how to turn up a BiPAP machine. Can you show me?” Like, “What do I look for?” And I remember feeling overwhelmed in the moment…” Unknown “I had no idea what to do, no idea what supplies to grab, nothing, and so I was just scared.” “I think that there's still times now that I'm not the most prepared nurse to care for a patient, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to do a good job… [the patients are] scared, and secretly I'm scared too. I don't really know what's happening.” “[The mental stress] got really, really bad when I would show up, not really knowing what to do….I would have four intubated patients with a buddy nurse. Whether that may have been a NICU nurse, or a med‐surg nurse, or someone out there who is willing to help me, when frankly I don't even know what I'm doing…it was like the blind leading the blind… These ratios are so unsafe. What am I supposed to do when two of my patients desat at the exact same time? Or deteriorate, something happens, they get hypotensive at the exact same time. What do I do and I have four people on ventilators?”