Table 3.

An Example of Cognitive Restructuring of a Situation Where the Therapist is Angry with the Patient

Situation	Thoughts	Emotions	Arguments for	Arguments Against	Constructive Reaction
The patient criticizes the therapist for not understanding him very well because she has never experienced such problems. She is also a woman, so she cannot understand men.	He is selfish and still wants me to praise him. He wants me to understand him, but he does not understand the hurting wife, and he controls and humiliates her. And he still wants me to understand him, and he provokes me.	Anger 70%	He describes himself criticizing his wife for trifles. He is upset that his wife does not understand him. He expressed no understanding for his wife.	He says he loves his wife. He does a lot for her and often makes sacrifices for her. I could not appreciate that enough. He has repeatedly said that he understands his wife, and now he is also trying to understand her feelings. He just cannot do it in anger. My husband also controls me, and he is contemptuous, and I cannot stand it. He has a right to understand him. He does not provoke me, he is clueless about changing the situation, and he is angry that he is not doing well.	Impact of discussion: My anger passed and almost disappeared. I realized that I was fighting for his wife, and I was on her side because it reminded me of my marital situation. Action: I commend him for improving his relationship with his wife and realizing his needs. I will understand how he feels misunderstood by a woman. I will try to discuss what he could do in marriage so that his wife could better understand his needs.
My schema that has been activated: I am not loving. Others want to meet their needs and do not care about mine. It has to do with a dad who did not have time for me, turned me down when I wanted to be with him, and often criticized my mother. Discussion with the scheme: I am lovable. Many people love me and respect me. My husband loves me, but I do not talk about my needs. The patient also respects me, and he is just impatient. I have many friends who love me. My reaction to the patient was subconscious. Now that I realize how it relates to me, I can focus more on his needs.