Table 2.

Summary of Themes

Theme	Description	Example quote
Discourses on motherhood: criticisms of mothers and internalised guilt	Mothers were exposed to and often internalised dominant mothering discourses such as the good mother ideology and upheld these expectations through fear of judgement and altering their beliefs or behaviours when in public. Fathers are not held to the same unattainable standards and are often unaware of the pressure’s mothers face.	I felt like I couldn’t get it right and that I was going to keep stuffing up and people were going to keep finding every single thing that I couldn’t do perfectly and tell me about it and exploit and shove it in my face and say you didn’t do enough, you haven’t done enough here. So the pressure is massive. It’s insurmountable, really. (Erin)
Transformation of identity	Change in identity in areas of sexuality, occupation, and individuality. This transition was sometimes characterised by loss and confusion as mothers attempted to integrate contradictory identities, and was easier for those who maintained other identities. The integration of identities was perceived as easier for fathers.	You’re trying to kind of establish yourself as an individual, as a person. And then you’re also trying to be a partner and you’re also trying to be a mother and they’re actually competing, if that makes sense, they’re not complimentary. (Phoebe)
Entrenchment of Gender Roles through Childrearing	Childrearing often reinforces traditional gender roles in finances, household labour and child-rearing. This reinforces the intensive mothering ideology of mother as expert. Some tasks are biologically linked (breastfeeding). Division of labour may be a source of tension or allow mothers power via choice over childrearing.	The kids are mostly also raised with me because [husband] works long hours so they are mostly raised with me then he sees them at night… Definitely one person will have to make a compromise. It will probably have to be [husband]. Because I feel that the parent that looks after the kids more so needs to have more of a say as to what happens. (Quin)
Positive relationship dynamics, supportive fathers, and challenging traditional gender roles	A higher degree of fathers emotional support, having shared goals, open communication and awareness of good mother ideology, including challenging this and subverting gender norms was linked with more positive relationship dynamics, and maternal gate-opening behaviours including father being involved in child-rearing decisions.	I feel like he’s putting things into perspective for me a bit more. So even though I’m still have those expectations really high. I don’t obsess over them so much when I can bounce things off him. We’re good at balancing. (Louise)