Books: In Control. Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder

Jane Monckton-Smith is a professor of public protection, specialising in interpersonal violence. She has played in a band, worked as a police officer, and is a mother to a daughter who experienced a 2-year coercive and controlling relationship. In this book, she argues that people rarely murder their partners or ex-partners on a whim. Rather, almost invariably, the killing is the culmination of a clearly defined eight-stage timeline. They know what they are doing. Forceful and manipulative, ending their partner/ex-partner’s life, and convincing others they were justified in doing so (often in a court of law), is the ultimate demonstration of their power.

THE EIGHT-STAGE KILLING TIMELINE

1. ‘A history of control or stalking’; not necessarily a criminal history, but a mindset, a tendency to dominate earlier partners.

2. ‘The commitment whirlwind’; everything from the first meeting moves at an unhealthy, breakneck pace.

3. ‘Living with control’; because their partner aims to control everything about them, the victim adapts their behaviours.

4. ‘Trigger’; something (for example, a potential split, pregnancy, or illness) threatens to break the circuit of control.

5. ’Escalation’; the controlling behaviour intensifies.

6. ‘A change in thinking’; something switches, the coercion may appear to lessen, or the perpetrator changes tack.

7. ‘Planning’ (such as preparing a ‘murder kit’).

8. ‘Homicide and/or suicide’; either murder or, because of prolonged and relentless coercion and control, the victim commits suicide.

By breaking down the domestic homicide timeline into these eight distinct phases, Monckton-Smith has shown us what to look out for in controlling and coercive relationships and, just as importantly, what to target to arrest the progression, to save a life.