Bent not Broken

Bent not Broken by Lauren Roche, Zymurgy Publishing, £6.99, pp 267, ISBN 1 903506 02 6. Rating: ★★★★

Most doctors I know entered medical school straight from school or after undergraduate study. New Zealander Lauren Roche had an unconventional path to become a doctor, which included stints as a stowaway, stripper, prostitute, and drug misuser. She describes this journey in her courageous autobiography, Bent not Broken.

Roche begins her narrative with snippets and stories from her childhood. These reveal instability, poverty, and abuse. Her parents' marriage ended in her early years and from a young age, Lauren helped “parent” her siblings, and at times her mother, who had a long history of drug misuse and depression. She attended a multitude of schools and intermittently lived with different family members, never having a constant home. She describes a turbulent relationship with her mother, which alternated between love and abuse. Soon after her mother's suicide, Lauren began to run away from school, her family, and New Zealand, stowing away in a United States naval ship and being imprisoned for immigration violation. While hitchhiking in the US, she suffered a horrific attack and gang rape.

After a suicide attempt at 19, Lauren was admitted to a psychiatric unit. This was a turning point in her life, and Lauren decided to return to high school with the aim of studying medicine. Few encouraged her dreams, which were perceived as “unrealistic.”

Bent not Broken is not only an account of Roche's journey to the medical world but is also a story of survival, personal strength, and, at times, luck. Lauren is a true role model who has proven that life can be turned around, that adversity can be overcome by hope and resilience. Her literary style is gutsy, uninhibited, and confrontational. She evokes emotion without trying—she merely has to state the facts.

This book is not for the faint-hearted. As Roche tears open her past, she takes the reader down her spiral into depression and blackness. Yet the darkness is always sparkled with hope, and Roche maintains a sense of humour in the face of adversity.

Bent not Broken concludes at Lauren's graduation from Otago medical school, and I would have liked to learn about her life as a doctor. As Roche's autobiography is in two parts I look forward to reading about the second part of her journey in the sequel, Life on the Line, due to be released in the United Kingdom in autumn 2002.