Racially Conscious Sociocultural Attuned Emotionally Focused Therapy With Inter‐Ethnoracial Couples

ABSTRACT

Inter‐ethnoracial relationships have increased in the United States since anti‐miscegenation laws were repealed over 58 years ago. While public approval has grown, it remains a marginalized relationship structure. Inter‐ethnoracial partners tend to experience stigma, stress, or trauma from discrimination, lower relationship quality, and negative mental health. Inter‐ethnoracial research literature also reflect that these relationships are at risk for separation or dissolution. Applying critical race theory (CRT) and intersectionality can help relational therapists understand the marginalization of this relationship structure and the disadvantages faced by inter‐ethnoracial partners. In this article, I discuss relational therapists using CRT and intersectionality as a means to fully understand the racialized sociocultural context of this relationship. I propose a conceptual framework for applying CRT and sociocultural attunement (SCA) to the practice of emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with the aim of strengthening attachment bonds by addressing the intersectional influence of racialization, racism, and social power on inter‐ethnoracial relational dynamics. I provide a case vignette to illustrate how a racially conscious sociocultural attuned EFT therapist of color might apply the guidelines of SCA to an EFT intervention.

1. Introduction

Following the landmark case of Loving v. Virginia (1967), in which the United States (U.S.) Supreme Court rendered anti‐miscegenation laws unconstitutional, scholars have observed an increasing number of inter‐ethnoracial relationships over the last 58 years (Bryant and Duncan 2019; Zhang and Van Hook 2009). Inter‐ethnoracial relationships consist of at least one partner with a differing cultural, ethnic, or racial identity. Researchers have previously referred to this type of relationship as interethnic (Troy et al. 2006), interracial, or intermarriage (Bratter and Eschbach 2006), and more broadly, as an intimate intercultural relationship—a committed intimate relationship between people of differing cultures due to nationality, race, ethnicity, or other sociocultural groups (Bustamante et al. 2011; Su 2023).

In 2015, 17% of all newly married couples in the United States were inter‐ethnoracial, a percentage more than five times as many as in 1967 (Livingston and Brown 2017). As of 2022, approximately 19% of heterosexual married couples and 30.8% of same‐sex married couples were interracial (Hernandez and Hemez 2023). Although this increase in inter‐ethnoracial long‐term relationships or marriages appears to reflect public acceptance, Bratter and Campbell (2023) have argued that such growth has not shifted racial attitudes, ethnoracial lines, and existing racial inequities, which remain impacted by gender and class. Applying critical race theory (CRT) and intersectionality can help explain this variance and the marginalization of inter‐ethnoracial relationships. CRT highlights the racial hierarchy embedded in our U.S. society and the laws' role in reproducing race and racism (Bridges 2021). This racial hierarchy—on which racism is based—constitutes a caste system built on rigid racial lines designed to maintain itself (Watson 2023). Racism is the legacy of White European settlers' unequal allocation of power and privilege to preserve their wealth and resources through slavery (Watson 2019). Racism as perpetuated by our legal structures and racialization, which occurs when society ascribes racial meanings to a group of people (Afful et al. 2015), keeps non‐White conforming bodies and their relationships on the lower end of the caste system. Intersectionality brings to light the widespread influence of racism and racialization on our interconnected social systems and relationships (Almeida and Tubbs 2020). Scholars further recognize that racism through racial discrimination generates racial stress and trauma (Carter and Pieterse 2020; Kirkinis et al. 2018; Watson 2023), which affects the health and relationship quality of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC; Irby‐Shasanmi and Erving 2022; Killian 2001; Su 2023).

Although Troy et al. (2006) found no differences between interracial and same‐race relationships as to relationship quality, conflict patterns, relationship efficacy, coping, or attachment, their research had primarily been on a sample of college students in heterosexual dating relationships, which the researchers noted was a limitation of their study. For the most part, inter‐ethnoracial relationship literature suggests a degree of instability for this relationship structure in terms of elevated separation and dissolution rates (Bratter and King 2008; Fu and Wolfinger 2011; Zhang and Van Hook 2009). This combination of immovable ethnoracial lines, existing relational instability, and stress or trauma for BIPOC individuals underscores the need for more evidenced‐based interventions tailored to inter‐ethnoracial relationships.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence‐based model widely used by therapists working with distressed relationships and partners with trauma (Johnson 2002, 2019, 2020). EFT offers a pathway for healing emotional pain and addressing relational disconnection by restructuring rigid relational patterns produced by trauma (Johnson 2002). Notwithstanding, Spengler et al. (2024), in their meta‐analysis of EFT efficacy, found that the majority of the study participants were mild‐to‐moderately distressed White, cisgender, heterosexual, and middle‐class couples. The researchers noted an absence of couples with minoritized sexual or gender identities, as well as a lack of consideration for race and ethnicity, indicating limitations to EFT's efficacy with marginalized populations. Even among therapists who have made cultural adaptations to EFT when working with diverse couples (e.g., integrating culturally‐related metaphors or discussing cultural differences), discussions on how they specifically address power between the partners remain lacking (Allan et al. 2023).

To help foster the racial consciousness of relational therapists who use EFT with inter‐ethnoracial relationships, I examine this form of relationship through CRT and intersectionality. I highlight the consequences of racialization, imbalanced social power, and racial stress or trauma on this relationship structure. I discuss how sociocultural attunement (SCA) (Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017) and its transtheoretical guidelines, ANVIET, along with CRT and intersectionality, can inform EFT and address the racialized sociocultural context of inter‐ethnoracial partners. I do so through my multiple, yet limited, lenses as a 1.5‐generation Filipina American lawyer‐therapist with lived experiences as an inter‐ethnoracial spouse who is systemically and EFT trained. I have diagrammed a conceptual framework for racially conscious sociocultural attuned EFT in Figure 1.

FIGURE 1.

Conceptual framework for racially conscious sociocultural attuned EFT. Intersectionality is nested within CRT, and the transtheoretical guidelines, ANVIET, are nested within SCA (Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017). CRT with intersectionality informs SCA, as illustrated by the curved arrow on the left. SCA with ANVIET informs how CRT with intersectionality applies to intimate relationships, as shown by the curved arrow on the right. The dynamic interplay between CRT and SCA influences Johnson's (2019, 2020) EFT and guides the application of ANVIET as represented by the linear arrow. ANVIET can be incorporated throughout the moves of the EFT Tango.

2. Relevance of CRT and Intersectionality to Inter‐Ethnoracial Relationships

CRT refers to the body of scholarship that emerged in the 1970s–80s when Derrick Bell and colleagues challenged the dominant view of the law as fair, just, and equal (Bridges 2021). CRT has been used as a framework to recognize the perpetuation of racial oppression through the dominance of the white racial group in the marriage and family therapy (e.g., McDowell and Jeris 2004) and counseling psychology fields (e.g., Varghese et al. 2019). An existing component of CRT is intersectionality (Varghese et al. 2019). Intersectionality arose from Black and Chicana feminism and prompts an analysis of the interconnection between power, privilege, and social identities in interlocking systems of oppression while emphasizing activism that disrupts these oppressive systems (Almeida and Tubbs 2020).

Race has long been a function of white settler‐colonialism, which decimated and exploited Indigenous people as well as extracted their resources (Saito 2020). Our coinciding racial caste system shattered Black relationship bonds and communities while uplifting the White racial group's power and security and disenfranchising Black families' experience of intergenerational trauma (Watson 2023). Both race and white settler‐colonialism have shaped the U.S. political, socioeconomic, and legal systems and have formed the basis of structural racism (Saito 2020). This longstanding history of U.S. racialization and racial caste system inextricably links together inter‐ethnoracial relationships and racism alongside other systems of oppression.

Using CRT, Bratter and Campbell (2023) discussed at length how historical racial policies and laws pre‐Loving v. Virginia (1967) obscured interracial relationships, regulated interracial sex, and punished those who violated its prohibition. During the Jim Crow era, mixed children were kept hidden by being reclassified as Black to not disrupt the racial hierarchy pursuant to the one‐drop rule, which deemed those with African ancestry as Black. White segregationists viewed interracial couples as deviants, while individuals who were able to differentiate themselves through their proximity to whiteness (e.g., passing as White) gained some social advantages (e.g., access to prestigious social spaces) but were not able to change the boundaries between the racial groups (Bratter and Campbell 2023).

The impact of these undesirable characterizations on interracial relationships has been the pervasive racism (e.g., anti‐Black or anti‐Latino), strict racial lines, and enduring internalized negative attitudes that exist today, whether among friendships, dating, or marriages (Bratter and Campbell 2023). For example, it is common for discussions of race to be ignored in cross‐racial relationships, for Whites to view close Black friends as not fitting their stereotypical beliefs about Blacks, for colorism to inform acceptable dating partners, or inter‐ethnoracial relationships to be socially perceived as deviations from same‐race relationships, especially White–White partners. To the extent there seems to be any social progress, such as the growth of inter‐ethnoracial marriages, it often occurs to the advantage of Whites (Bratter and Campbell 2023). Additionally, there can be stark differences in social power within inter‐ethnoracial relationships. Although existing literature on power imbalances between inter‐ethnoracial couples compared to same‐race couples may be mixed, there is support for the disparities in BIPOC partners' experience of power compared to their partners in more powerful positions (e.g., the division of household labor where BIPOCs take on more of the load; Bratter and Campbell 2023).

2.1. Social Power in Intimate Inter‐Ethnoracial Relationships

Social power can be defined as the capacity to influence the actions of others (Simpson et al. 2015). Power dynamics refer to the sequence of enacting and/or counteracting power (Young and Seedall 2024). Power exists in all relationships, and people enact it in multiple ways, such as through gender (e.g., men wielding physical power), personality traits (with pro‐social individuals having more group influence), and attachment processes insofar as partners who are less emotionally dependent can exert more relational control (Young and Seedall 2024). Other sources of power include dominant social identities and access to resources (Young and Seedall 2024), which can be counteracted by less powerful partners forgoing the need for, or dependence on, the coveted resource (Keltner et al. 2003; Simpson et al. 2015).

According to Keltner et al.'s (2003), the power‐approach theory, individuals with more power can focus on their goals with less attention to consequences (Simpson et al. 2015). They experience positive states of emotion, such as happiness or love and self‐reliance, but they are deemed to have lower accuracy in their empathic abilities. When individuals have less power, their accuracy for empathy increases. However, it renders them more sensitive to scarcity or punishment and exposes them to lower emotional states such as fear and shame (Keltner et al. 2003; Simpson et al. 2015). Powerful individuals can perpetuate power disparities when inaccurately viewing themselves as powerless while carrying out behaviors that affirm their power (Keltner et al. 2003). Family therapy scholars recognize that shared power fosters connection, intimacy, and overall stronger relationships as partners are seen, felt, and experienced as trustworthy (Knudson‐Martin 2024; Young and Seedall 2024).

In inter‐ethnoracial relationships, certain partners have unearned social advantages (privilege) relative to their partners, which intersect with their other social identities (Killian 2001). Those with privilege, such as being White, male, heterosexual, and wealthy with citizenship, are heavily advantaged by the economic, political, and psychological benefits of their status (McDowell 2015). Consider, for example, an inter‐ethnoracial dyad consisting of an immigrant Filipina trans woman in a C‐suite executive role residing in a conservative White middle‐class community. Privilege in terms of wealth and credentials affords the Filipina partner a level of influence she recognizes and credibility in professional spaces that are likely different from her White partner employed in skilled manual labor. Conversely, the power he asserts as a cisgender male in their conservative community may grant him more comfort than his Filipina partner in public interactions. Perhaps, he may even experience or come to expect a higher regard at home, given his race, gender, and citizenship, especially since the existence of colonial mentality tends to subordinate Filipino culture to Western US American culture (Felipe 2016). Colonial mentality is a form of internalized oppression arising from the process of colonization that renders belief in one's own cultural heritage as inferior (Felipe 2016).

When unaware of privilege, individuals view their positionality as normal and align with their less powerful identities (Young and Seedall 2024). Privileged partners are also often believed, while the perspectives and knowledge of their marginalized partners are muted, resulting in power dynamics similar to the broader society (Almeida and Tubbs 2020). As inequities, privilege, and power dynamics in the social realm are transmuted into intimate interactions, they influence relationship functioning.

2.2. Racialization, Racism, and Imbalanced Social Power on Inter‐Ethnoracial Relationship Functioning

Racialization, racism, and differences in power from racial privilege affect inter‐ethnoracial partners irrespective of how differently they might view themselves (Afful et al. 2015). Partners are impacted by their geographic context, their current era, and the classification of their racial identities by people in their social spaces (Afful et al. 2015; Bratter and Campbell 2023). For example, cities in the West may be more welcoming to inter‐ethnoracial couples, while other geographic areas may have lower public acceptance due to a history of segregation, such as the South (Afful et al. 2015). Racism and power dynamics also create additional relational considerations for inter‐ethnoracial partners, including issues of racial identity, microaggressions, and racial privilege (Inman et al. 2011; Leslie and Young 2015).

Both partners in inter‐ethnoracial relationships can experience lower relationship quality than same‐ethnoracial partners, which may be influenced by the complexity of their relationship history, less shared values, and the lack of parental support (Hohmann‐Marriott and Amato 2008). Inman et al. (2011) found that South Asian Indians and White partners can experience family rejection and stress because of their racial differences (e.g., the spouse being White). In Brown et al. (2018), the researchers found that women in interracial relationships were more likely to have lower relationship quality early on in the relationship than women in same‐race relationships, and they surmised it might be due to receiving recurring negative messages (e.g., disapproval from families) about the relationship.

Moreover, in conducting a systematic review of quantitative studies on intercultural romantic relationships and stressors, Su (2023) found studies showing Black‐White partners' perceived discrimination (Genç and Su 2021) or relationship stigma (Vazquez et al. 2019) lowered their marital satisfaction; there is an increased risk for interpersonal violence in inter‐ethnic relationships and elevated rates of alcohol use for male inter‐ethnoracial partners (Chartier and Caetano 2012); and lower relational trust, commitment, love, and communication about sex between partners when friends stigmatize the interracial relationship (Rosenthal and Starks 2015). Among individuals in inter‐ethnoracial relationships, relationship stigma from friends is shown to be associated with higher depressive symptoms while stigma from family is associated with higher anxiety symptoms (Rosenthal et al. 2019). Specific to Black Americans, Rice et al. (2023) conducted a systematic review of articles on racial discrimination relating to same‐race and interracial relationships, and their findings supported previous scholars' propositions that perceived or actual racial discrimination negatively affected Black partners' relationship functioning. These researchers further found that couples in Black‐White relationships can privilege whiteness by overlooking racism and holding a colorblind approach.

2.3. Race‐Based Traumatic Stress and Protective Factors

There is a rich body of literature documenting the negative impact of racism and racial discrimination on BIPOCs (Carter and Pieterse 2020; Comas‐Díaz et al. 2019; Kirkinis et al. 2018). Racial discrimination reflects the exercise of power and prejudice by those on top of the racial caste system, which BIPOCs can experience as deprivation of resources, opportunities, and the ability to shape their realities (Kirkinis et al. 2018). In their book, Measuring the effects of racism: Guidelines for the assessment and treatment of race‐based traumatic stress injury, Carter and Pieterse (2020) shared relevant empirical research in support of psychological and/or emotional injuries in BIPOC individuals, necessitating a race‐based traumatic stress (RBTS) assessment. However, the research Carter and Pieterse (2020) referenced focused on individual outcomes from interpersonal experiences. Rice et al. (2023) similarly found scholars operationalizing racial discrimination in assessments as interpersonal occurrences and expressed concern that it may omit the societal racial structures that maintain it. Rice et al. (2023) also noted that studies on Black American inter‐ethnoracial relationships have largely focused on Black‐White partners, denoting a need for more ethnic diversity in this area. Taken together, these outcomes or findings suggest that the study of the interconnection between racism, discrimination, and RBTS across ethnoracial identities on a relational/systemic level is at its nascent stage.

RBTS is racial trauma from racism and racial discrimination, and its symptoms include hypervigilance, avoidance, intrusion, and the need to process the encounter (Carter et al. 2017; Carter and Pieterse 2020). Although post‐traumatic stress disorder and racial trauma share similar symptoms of intrusion, arousal, or avoidance, RBTS differs by the presence of the sudden encounter of high emotional pain from race‐based events such as everyday slights that are out of a person's control and impair their self‐esteem, identity, mental or physical health, and interpersonal relationships (Carter et al. 2017; Carter and Pieterse 2020). Scholars have acknowledged that racial trauma greatly shapes interactional patterns by interfering with connection (Nightingale et al. 2019; Watson 2023) and cultivating a negative view of self or anxious attachment (Guillory 2021). Racial trauma is also believed to have long‐lasting effects since it can transfer intergenerationally into communities through epigenetic changes (Comas‐Díaz et al. 2019).

While racialized stress or trauma is present for BIPOC partners, scholars have been able to identify some factors in inter‐ethnoracial relationships that preserve the quality of their relationships. Among these protective factors are religion or spirituality, which have been found to moderate the negative effects of perceived discrimination on marital satisfaction (Genç and Su 2021), and to mediate the effect of relationship stigma on marital satisfaction (Vazquez et al. 2019). Other protective factors include egalitarian relational beliefs, which can moderate the effect of public relationship stigma on symptoms of anxiety, as well as collaborative (dyadic) coping, which has been found to moderate the relationship between family stigma and depressive symptoms (Rosenthal et al. 2019).

3. Applying CRT, Intersectionality, and Sociocultural Attunement to EFT

EFT is a humanistic‐experiential, systemic, and attachment‐based model of therapy (Johnson 2019, 2020). At its core is the notion that relational distress occurs because partner conflicts and disconnection threaten the attachment bond. EFT therapists focus on intrapsychic processes by helping partners identify reactive (secondary) emotions and strategies for safety. Reactivity that appears as maladaptive behavior is explored to uncover and access the primary emotions (e.g., fear) and attachment needs (e.g., to be lovable). EFT therapists also work interpersonally by facilitating partner enactments in a way that links reactivity to vulnerabilities while simultaneously extending support to the receiving partner to accept or tolerate it. The overarching goals of EFT are focusing on key emotional experiences, including attachment needs, restructuring the partners' stuck interactional patterns, and strengthening their bond.

According to Johnson (2019, 2020), EFT consists of three stages: Stage I is de‐escalation or stabilization; Stage II is restructuring the couple's attachment or creating a change in a partner's automatic response; and Stage III is consolidation or integration of the change that has occurred. The model delineates steps in each of these stages. For a full explanation of each EFT stage and step, including macro or micro skills, see Johnson (2019, 2020). Johnson created the macro‐level intervention, EFT Tango, to facilitate nonlinear recurring movements through the steps and stages, which consist of five moves: (1) tracking the partners' negative cycle as reflected between them and/or internally, (2) deepening and assembling affect, (3) choreographing engaged enactment, (4) processing the enactment, and (5) integrating and validating, as well as reflecting the new process experienced by the partners. The EFT Tango is the primary intervention for promoting corrective emotional experiences between partners toward a stronger relational bond (Johnson 2019, 2020). A missing component of the EFT Tango is SCA to race as it intersects with other sociocultural factors.

3.1. Racially Conscious Sociocultural Attuned EFT

SCA is the empathic awareness of the intersecting ways in which sociopolitical, economic, and cultural factors impact individual or family social development (Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017; McDowell et al. 2023). SCA refers to an orientation for practice that can overlay any model of therapy. By adopting SCA as a way of being, relational therapists can focus on the partners' social context and its impact on the emotional dance of attachment systems while applying Johnson's (2019, 2020) EFT Tango. SCA therapists are responsive to social systems, culture, and power within clients' lived experiences in a way that permits third‐order change toward relational equity (Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017; McDowell et al. 2023).

Whereas Bateson (1972) explained that first‐order change is a correction by choosing an alternative from a set of fixed choices, second‐order change is a correction made to the process or sequence of choosing alternatives. A third‐order change, on the other hand, is the correction to the deeper foundation of a system from which the structure for available choices or the process of choosing alternatives is generated (Bateson 1972; Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017). In relational therapy, this can be applied as seeing and disrupting the societal processes, dominant narratives, or social power at play that create the relationship structure and dictate the partners' fixed set of choices or their process for making such choices (Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017). Equity between partners can be defined as balancing access to resources and power since there is a recognition of the unjust social structures and their unequal positions (Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017; McDowell et al. 2023). Knudson‐Martin et al. (2017) introduced ANVIET as a set of transtheoretical guidelines for equitable practice, which McDowell et al. (2023) applied to family therapy models.

3.2. Integrating ANVIET Into the EFT Tango

Integrating ANVIET into the EFT Tango parallels the suggestions offered to socioculturally attuned family therapists by McDowell et al. (2023) when applying the same guidelines to attachment‐based therapy models. ANVIET is an acronym that stands for Attune to the social context of people and power in relationships; Name the injustices in the therapy room, which entails identifying unfair situations and amplifying the unmet needs or voices of clients in less powerful positions; Value what has been minimized by the dominant culture or in the power imbalances; Intervene in the power dynamic (therapists disrupt interactional processes that reinforce oppressive social narratives); Envision just alternatives (more equitable options); and Transform to make the imagined alternative a reality, which refers to actions taken on the envisioned options (Knudson‐Martin et al. 2017; McDowell et al. 2023). These guidelines can help EFT therapists address inter‐ethnoracial partners' racialized sociocultural context, disrupt imbalanced social power in the relationship, including oppressive narratives, and meet the partners' relational need for connection. ANVIET can be incorporated, as a whole or in part, where relevant, in any aspect of the EFT Tango moves. In the following case vignette, I illustrate how an EFT therapist of color might incorporate ANVIET into the EFT Tango while working with an inter‐ethnoracial couple in the de‐escalation phase of EFT Stage I. This hypothetical vignette, while fictitious, synthesizes elements derived from multiple real cases.

4. Case Vignette

A U.S.‐born cisgender married couple of 3 years, Michael, age 36 (he/him), a Black heterosexual cisgender male, and Olivia, age 36 (she/they), a Japanese/White bisexual female, are in relationship therapy with EFT‐trained therapist Surya, age 31 (she/her), a first‐generation middle‐class, cisgender, heterosexual, Southeast Asian Indonesian female. Michael and Olivia have one toddler named Brett (age 2). Michael grew up poor in an impoverished neighborhood in the Midwest with a single parent, and Olivia was raised by a wealthy family in the Pacific Northwest. The couple's presenting concerns are frequent conflicts arising from financial struggles, unsupportive parents‐in‐law (Olivia's parents), and differences in parenting Brett. The couple maintains separate financial accounts with one joint account for expenses due to differences in debt entering the marriage. Olivia has been using her sizeable savings to cover the gap in their expenses, as Michael is not making enough as the sole breadwinner.

Surya initially establishes a therapeutic alliance with both partners through building trust and rapport. Surya empathically attunes to the differences in the sociocultural context and power dynamics between her as a therapist, each partner in the inter‐ethnoracial relationship, and their unit as a whole. She also inquires as to their past discussions on culture, race, ethnicity, class, gender, and sexual orientation, among other differences, including their strengths in coping with their stressors while residing in the Pacific Northwest.

4.1. EFT Tango Move 1 Between/Within Process—Attunement, Naming Injustices and Valuing What Has Been Minimized

During the joint session, Surya tracks the dyad's in‐between patterns as they unfold. She notes Olivia's critical pursuit in making demands and labeling Michael as “self‐absorbed with a tantrum.” Surya notes Michael's critical withdrawal in yelling at Olivia, labeling her as a “controlling nag,” and shutting down. In attuning to social context, naming injustices, and valuing what has been minimized, which entails purposefully uplifting the less powerful client's skills, strengths, or expressions of resilience that have been downplayed by the dominant culture or more powerful partner (McDowell et al. 2023), Surya zooms out to consider how issues of racialization, culture, genderism, and classism overlap and relate to each partner's view‐of‐self, view‐of‐other, their attachment longings, and their critical pursue‐critical withdraw cycle. Surya relies on CRT and intersectionality to inform her SCA so she can express empathic awareness toward cultural differences, power dynamics, and the sources of racialized stress or trauma within and outside of their relationship. As Surya receives feedback from the couple on her attunement, she adjusts her understanding of how intersectionality and CRT manifest in their relationship.

4.2. EFT Tango Move 2 With Michael—Attunement, Naming, Valuing What Has Been Minimized, and Intervening in Power Dynamics

As Surya identifies the negative cycle given the social influences on the couple's attachment needs, she tentatively shares her contextualized understanding of their cycle so they can examine it together. Surya addresses the topic of finances as desired by the couple and starts Move 2 with Michael's experience as part of de‐escalation. Surya conceptualizes his intersecting background of not completing college, having grown up poor, and entering his marriage with less money as a product of generational legacy that likely afforded him less social power in the larger society, and with Olivia, on issues of finances, status, or education. Surya attunes to Michael's frustration that he feels controlled at home like a “kid” and uses EFT micro skills (e.g., client's words, reflection, or validation) to explore Michael's experiences of frustration and his meaning of “controlled” given his racialized experiences.

Surya also starts to link Michael's frustration to a sense of rejection in reaction to Olivia's critical demands. Surya watches his body language for agreement. Surya slows the interaction and uses evocative responses to have Michael identify in real time the internal experience of his rejection (e.g., somatic cues) and validates his feelings. Surya conveys,

You long for Olivia to accept you in this world that is not built for you that when she gets critical, it feels like a gut punch. You feel so rejected and lost that you get frustrated, which makes sense. You fire back to get away from it. Is that it?

Surya also supports Michael in connecting his experiences of racialization and racism to his vigilance, avoidance of rejection, and attachment longing for acceptance. To this end, Surya values Michael's guardedness as an act of resistance—to counteract societal devaluation and as an adaptation to racial trauma. Simultaneously, Surya conceptualizes Michael's guardedness, given Olivia's mixed racial and gender identities, as likely evoking an alternate meaning for her of invisibility, especially as Olivia sees him taking up space and “talking at” her before shutting her out. To value that they each have marginalized experiences, and to intervene in their power dynamics that involve gender, Surya also asks Michael how Olivia might feel when he yells and shuts her out to encourage him to consider his impact on her in light of her own mixed‐ethnoracial female identity.

4.3. EFT Tango Move 3 (Enactment) and Move 4 (Processing)—Attuning, Naming, Valuing, Intervening, and Envisioning Just Alternatives

Surya eventually helps Michael take a smaller risk by directly naming his vulnerable experience with Olivia through an enactment (Move 3),

When I hear you criticize me as ‘self‐absorbed’ and not earning enough for us, I feel rejected. I feel like a kid. It's the same way I feel at work, and you know they treat me differently, so I get frustrated, talk at you and just shut down.

When therapists help clients envision just alternatives, they typically facilitate conversations that foster equitable options supportive to disempowered partners (McDowell et al. 2023). To this end, Surya in Move 4 asks Michael what it is like for him to directly express both his longing for acceptance and his familiar racialized experience of rejection underneath his “talking at” Olivia. Surya also inquires what he might need from Olivia, given this experience. Surya attunes to how Olivia is responding to Michael's expression of his distress and his guardedness. Surya asks Olivia what it feels like for her to hear Michael lower his guard and state his need, which allows Olivia to imagine and experience an alternative way of relating to him. Surya checks in with both partners to see if this shared influence (power) feels more supportive than their critical‐pursue and critical‐withdraw patterns.

4.4. EFT Tango Move 5 Integration—Attuning, Naming, Valuing, and Transformative Actions

In taking transformative actions, SCA therapists would help clients focus on actions that align with their equitable goals and remain consciously aware of the ways they are upholding or deconstructing dominant social scripts within their social network (McDowell et al. 2023). Surya starts with validating Michael's courage to vulnerably turn to Olivia without diminishing his acts of resistance. In Olivia exhibiting openness to Michael's expressions without defensiveness and meeting his expressed need, Surya celebrates by affirming Olivia's empathic response and Michael's vulnerable disclosure as part of EFT Tango Move 5. Surya further highlights how this disrupts not just their negative interpersonal cycle but also socialized scripts that disregard racialized experiences and male vulnerability.

4.5. EFT Tango Move 2 With Olivia—Attuning, Naming, Valuing, and Intervening

Surya recognizes how the traditional discourses on class and masculinity favor the dominance of men over women, especially financially resourced men (McDowell 2015). Relying on intersectionality and CRT, Surya conceptualizes Olivia as possibly experiencing less social power in her intersectional identities as a bisexual woman with Japanese heritage, which may affect her ability to feel seen and heard in relationships, especially where mixed‐ethnoracial status and bisexuality are minimized. Surya explores this with Olivia as it intersects with her financial privilege and parenting by asking Olivia about her lived experiences with these marginalized and privileged identities. Surya empathically attunes to Olivia's expressions by stating,

Not only do you see chores and parenting as unequal, which is similar to other women, but you also feel unseen, being mixed and bisexual. At the same time, you worry about not having the financial safety net you have been used to.

Surya helps distill Olivia's secondary emotions of exasperation and frustration from unequal responsibilities and finances to primary emotions of sadness, given her lived experiences, and fear of being without Michael's support and financial security; hence, her critical demands. In this process, Surya reframes Olivia's secondary emotions as indicating Michael's significance to her while noting how important it is to have his support and to be seen by him without devaluing her own acts of resistance against invisibility—her critical protests. Surya reflects back,

I hear you saying to yourself, ‘Here it goes again, I am made responsible and insignificant without ever being asked, and I am on my own.’ You notice a sinking feeling, and you feel sad about being invisible, much like how you've experienced being mixed and your sexuality. You also feel scared to be without Michael and without security, but you don't know how to tell him. You demand and criticize to be seen by him. Am I getting it?

In this way, Surya names Olivia's intersecting gender, sexual orientation, and class narratives that produce emotional distress for her. Surya also intervenes in the power dynamics by having Olivia acknowledge her role in the negative cycle that evokes Michael's familiar racialized experience of rejection.

4.6. EFT Tango Moves 3–5—Attuning, Naming, Valuing, Intervening, Envisioning, and Transformative Actions

Surya facilitates an enactment (Tango Move 3) by having Olivia take a risk similar to Michael by naming,

When I see you absent from home or focused elsewhere in finding investors, I get critical and demanding because I start to feel sad that I am not seen similar to when others don't see me as mixed or bisexual. I also feel scared of us not having enough money, and me being on my own, caring for Brett and our home without you.

Surya attunes to what Olivia may need when she feels unseen and scared without Michael's partnership and has Olivia share it with him. In Tango Move 4, Surya intervenes to ask how it feels for Olivia to share with Michael her sadness and fear, given her own social context. Surya also asks Michael how it feels to hear Olivia's vulnerability and need in light of her lived experiences. In answering, Michael envisions and experiences another way of relating that does not perpetuate her invisibility. Surya, in Move 5, validates and affirms his supportive responses and Olivia's direct expression of her needs.

4.7. Subsequent Sessions

When Olivia and Michael can feel the strength of their attachment bond following EFT Stage I, Surya can guide them to increasingly deeper exploration of gender scripts and other intersecting topics relevant to their respective social identities consistent with ANVIET. For example, as part of continued naming and intervening in the power dynamics, Surya can inquire what messages Olivia internalized about class and race, including Olivia's mixed‐ethnoracial body, as well as how Olivia imagines these differences might emotionally impact both of them (e.g., as a benefit and disadvantage). Surya can further examine their expectation of traditional gender roles since both see Olivia as the caregiver and Michael as the breadwinner. Surya's facilitation of these discussions in later stages of EFT would help Olivia and Michael deconstruct current dominant discourses that govern their approaches to money, their sexual identities, their role as parents to a mixed‐ethnoracial child, and unsupportive parents within the context of their attachment strategies or patterns. Throughout their process, Surya would affirm and celebrate the transformative choices the couple has jointly made and is continually making together.

5. Limitations

The application of the SCA guidelines ANVIET to the EFT Tango is not meant to be interpreted as the only right approach for addressing the racialized sociocultural context and power dynamics in inter‐ethnoracial relationships nor generalized to all such couples or EFT therapists who share similar BIPOC identities in or outside the United States. I express this sentiment to acknowledge and avoid the danger of reinforcing coloniality in presuming the universality and objectivity of knowledge influenced by Western Euro‐American ideologies (Almeida and Tubbs 2020; Bhatia and Priya 2021). This case vignette is admittedly limited in that it does not explicitly address other intersecting social identities, such as religion/spirituality, mixed citizenship, disability, or age gap, to name a few, which can present their own unique and nuanced complexities for inter‐ethnoracial partners and warrant further consideration. This vignette also focuses on the internal and interpersonal processes between the partners and does not address extended social systems. Bratter and Campbell (2023) relayed the necessity of supporting interracial relationships by strengthening or broadening their support systems to counter the ways in which racism generates isolation and diminishes networks of support due to the unwelcoming racialized dynamics.

Moreover, while I referenced the inter‐ethnoracial partners' geographic location in the vignette, I did not explore at length how racialization, racism, and social power affect the attachment processes for inter‐ethnoracial couples across U.S. geographic areas. McDowell (2015) introduced critical geography to family therapy and discussed the importance of considering how the physical space and sense of place at differing locations (e.g., privacy) affect families from the local to the global level, including the choices they make. To this end, I believe it would be reasonable for therapists practicing EFT, informed by the dynamic interplay between CRT and SCA, to consider the time, spaces, and places of inter‐ethnoracial partners. Their attachment processes and emotional experiences are likely impacted by the same factors, along with the social systems they inhabit (McDowell et al. 2023), which may influence what is most salient to their relationship.

6. Conclusion

CRT and intersectionality permit a historical and racialized sociocontextual understanding of inter‐ethnoracial relationships that warrant tailored evidence‐based interventions. Inter‐ethnoracial partners are at risk for separation or divorce due to the societal influences of racialization, racism, and power imbalances. They also experience negative mental health, stigma, and stress or trauma from racial discrimination. Relational therapists who use EFT with inter‐ethnoracial couples are more likely to address their unique context and needs by allowing the interplay between SCA and CRT to inform their practice and to guide their application of the SCA guidelines, ANVIET, to the EFT Tango. Such practice can foster relational equity and stronger attachment bonds.

Conflicts of Interest

The author declares no conflicts of interest.

Neri, K. A. 2025. “Racially Conscious Sociocultural Attuned Emotionally Focused Therapy With Inter‐Ethnoracial Couples.” Family Process 64, no. 4: e70099. 10.1111/famp.70099.

Data Availability Statement

Data sharing not applicable to this article as no datasets were generated or analyzed during the current study.