I am Jeff. Jeff-the-Rep. Would you like some Super-cef?
No, no, Jeff-the-Rep. I do not want your Super-cef. I have no time for you today. I must see patients — go away.
Would you, could you for a pen? Monogrammed for you, my friend? You really must try Super-cef. It treats mono, it treats strep.
I would not, could not for a pen. Not for five, not for ten. Now let me be, I'm way behind. Mrs. Brown has chest pain — do you mind?
A fridge magnet? A free dinner? This abstract says our drug's a winner. Remember while you eat these donuts Super-cef treats Pseudomonas.
Not for magnets on my fridge. I don't want your useless kitsch. My sample cupboard's overflowing. Thanks for coming — now get going. I really must see Mrs. Brown. She just stopped breathing and fell down.
How ‘bout I send you for a cruise If some Super-cef you’ll use? If you sit and listen to me, I'll credit you for CME. We reps work hard — please don't revile us. And did I mention West Nile virus?
Not for a cruise, nor CME. I have the hours I need, you see. Now Jeff-the-Rep, please stand aside. Mrs. Brown just up and died. I wish I could zap her heart. Too bad I sold off my crash cart.
You do not like my drug, you say. Try it, try it, and you may. With just one dose of Super-cef You can even reverse death. You make think Mrs. Brown is done Here, rub a little on her tongue.
Jeff-the-Rep, I've naught to lose, A last resort your drug I'll use. She's so dead it won't annoy her. Now where's that number for my lawyer? Say, look Jeff, she took a breath. I think I like your Super-cef. Although the point may now be moot Your drug has saved me a lawsuit. And I will use it for all ills From impotence to sweats and chills. And I will take a dozen pens. For rudeness I'll make amends. Donuts, dinners, CME, What else can you give to me? And I will go on the sea cruise As long as you throw in free booze. I'll tell my friends about Super-cef. Now go bug them, Jeff-the-Rep.
Figure.
Photo by: Alan King