Things that seem harmless to adults may be scary for children. With insight, understanding, and patience, adults can help children deal with their fears.
At 2 to 3 years of age, children may fear things that make a loud noise that they can’t understand. They may also become fearful when things are not quite right, if furniture has been moved, a plate is cracked, or adults are angry or upset.
Kids aged 3 to 5 years often fear imaginary dangers, because they have difficulty separating real from pretend situations. Other common fears are fear of the dark or a mask covering a familiar face.
Generally, fears of school-aged children are more reality-based, such as storms, fires or injury. But their fear may be out of proportion to the likelihood of these things happening. As their understanding matures, these fears generally go away. Children often worry about their parents’ marriage or health, and can easily exaggerate mild arguments or complaints that they hear.
Children can also have their own special fears, either because of their own experience or because they are imitating someone else’s fear. They might, for example, be afraid of dogs, spiders or snakes.
What parents and caregivers can do
Parents should identify their children’s fears, and acknowledge that they are real for the children. It is important to be calm, empathetic and, above all, to never force children into fearful situations. For example, a child who is afraid of a dog should not be forced to pet one.
Encourage children to take slow, deep breaths to reduce the physical reaction to fear. Holding their hand or giving them a hug will make them feel more secure.
Discuss, talk, read about or draw out a fear. Drawing a monster can help a child express fears and learn to distinguish the fear from the reality.
Use dramatic play to help give your child control over the situation. You might give her teddy bear an injection before an immunization visit.
Desensitize your child. Using a toy fire engine may help to reduce the fear of the real one.
Confront the fear. For example, look at the real face behind the frightening mask.
Deal with underlying factors. Work on the basic conflicts that give rise to fear. Show your child that the doll with the missing arm can be fixed.
Avoid reinforcing the fear by reacting in an adult way. Always be affectionate, not just when your child is afraid.
Find other ways to help your child cope and increase his sense of control. By telling him what to expect at a doctor’s visit, he can really work on reducing the fear.
Footnotes
This information should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your physician. There may be variations in treatment that your physician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
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