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The British Journal of General Practice logoLink to The British Journal of General Practice
. 2016 Oct;66(651):529. doi: 10.3399/bjgp16X687397

Books: Painkiller Addict: From Wreckage to Redemption - My True Story

Never Enough

Reviewed by: Abbey Gray 1
Painkiller Addict: From Wreckage to Redemption — My True Story. Cathryn Kemp. Little, Brown Book Group,  2012, PB,  320pp,  £13.99. ,  978-0749958060.
PMCID: PMC5033296  PMID: 27688509

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As a GP trainee, I find opioid prescribing a particular challenge. This is especially the case for patients with chronic pain, where the distinction between analgesia and addiction can become increasingly blurred. It can be extremely difficult to maintain a therapeutic relationship with a patient who is dependent on the painkillers that they are being prescribed.

In her book Painkiller Addict: From Wreckage to Redemption, author Cathryn Kemp chronicles her own descent into fentanyl addiction, and her harrowing journey through recovery.

Previously a successful journalist, Kemp was diagnosed with idiopathic pancreatitis, and spent more than 2 years in and out of hospital. She was eventually discharged to the care of her GP with chronic abdominal pain and a prescription for fentanyl lozenges. Kemp initially adhered to the prescribed dose of eight lozenges per day, until a difficult break-up triggered her to think ‘one more won’t hurt …’

This book provides a brutally honest account of Kemp’s escalating use of fentanyl, peaking at 60 lozenges every day. It is a vivid depiction of how addiction insidiously grows to dominate every realm of a person’s life, and how the ravages of withdrawal are a terrifying, ever-present threat. Kemp says, ‘there never seems to be the feeling that I’ve had enough. I am always wanting the next lozenge. The craving follows me around all the time, like a lost puppy.’

Kemp describes an increasingly fraught relationship with her GP, whom she calls her ‘dealer’. Her GP attempts to limit the lozenge prescription on many occasions, giving the reader a unique insight into the patient perspective of the classic ‘drug-seeking’ interaction: ‘I nod with a compliant smile. He signs my prescriptions. I’ll do anything, agree to anything, as long as he carries on signing.’

Painkiller Addict: From Wreckage to Redemption provides a gripping and realistic narrative of prescription medication addiction, and I was left with a much better understanding of why those addicted to painkillers behave as they do.


Articles from The British Journal of General Practice are provided here courtesy of Royal College of General Practitioners

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