Abstract
Gender relations in later life relationships have historically been studied within long-term marital relationships. This research shows patterns of high gender conformance earlier in family life, especially when young children are present, and less so later in life. Demographic and socio-cultural changes are giving rise to different partnership forms including cohabitation, divorce, remarriage, and living apart together (LAT), an intimate relationship in which the couple maintains separate residences. Using a life course framework the researcher examines how gender is manifested in the formation and maintenance of LAT relationships in later life using social constructivism and the theory of gender as social structure. A grounded theory qualitative study in the United States with 13 women and 7 men age 59 to 89 reveals patterns of “doing” gender as well as “doing” family earlier in life. LAT relationships in later life appear to be an opportunity to “redo” family in an individualized way, with the men and women both valuing and maintaining the autonomy and freedom that comes in a life stage with lessening work and family responsibilities. Additionally, LAT allows the women in the study to “redo” gender by actively resisting “doing” gender in ways such as being submissive to men, catering to men’s needs and wants, and taking on caregiving duties. This study demonstrates how LAT meets the individualistic needs of both men and women in later life, while providing the opportunity to exercise agency to act outside of gender norms and expectations present in earlier life, especially for women.