There is something happening here in South Florida, unexplainable and yet oddly predictable. And, strange enough, it takes place only high above our Sunshine State, specifically aboard outbound flights from Palm Beach International Airport. If I could bottle it, I’d make a fortune.
It seems that many of our older residents, as well as annual snowbirds, have grown quite infirm through the years and find it difficult to maneuver the walkways and ramps that are part of the normal boarding process. Fortunately, attendants with wheelchairs are ready to assist them onto the plane ahead of all other passengers and secure them comfortably in front row seats as the rest of us file slowly by.
And then—wonder of wonders—somewhere around 34 000 feet, a transformative healing takes place, likely secondary to an as-yet-unrecognized form of universal energy. Because on landing, these same folks with disabilities miraculously leap to their feet without assistance, and instead of having to wait for their wheelchairs until after the rest of the plane has exited, are the first off the plane to line up at baggage claim. And, despite various hypotheses, no one has yet to explain this phenomenon.
I think it’s cosmic rays.
People have been gaming the system for centuries, but pretending to have a handicap is more recent and especially onerous, because it will of course adversely affect those who have true disabilities. We’ve seen something similar happen in California in the past several years since the legalization of medical marijuana. The increased accessibility of this highly beneficial drug has been a godsend for cancer patients with nausea and anorexia, and in allowing true chronic pain patients to mitigate their opiate use and evade addiction.
But we, being spoiled by the availability of most anything we want in today’s world, immediately set out to screw things up, particularly for those who really need the weed. Prescriptions became available for a song in many clinics, and it wasn’t long before my little rural health center in Big Sur was inundated with 20-something-year-olds wanting cannabis for their shoulder strain and anxiety, and plenty of shops willing to sell it. Which of course led to abuse, which will lead to legal crackdowns, which will lead to legislative restrictions, which will lead to cancer and chronic pain patients again reaching for the Percocet because they can’t get their pot. All so some healthy people can get high a little more easily.
Probably the most egregious offenders in this realm are those you see walking around with a chihuahua in their purse wearing a little pink “emotional support animal” vest (the dog, not the owner). Don’t get me wrong—animal-assisted therapy is my area of research and publication, and there is no more perfect therapeutic modality, replete with unconditional love, which is what our animal friends give us 24/7. Each month, I review at least 2 to 3 journal submissions evaluating the health benefits of primarily dogs and horses for disabilities ranging from cerebral palsy to autism to posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in our military vets. It works. It is completely nontoxic. It is extraordinarily inexpensive. And those who stand to benefit are highly motivated to engage in the therapies. In fact, there are not only seeing eye dogs, but seizure-warning and hypoglycemia-predicting dogs, and dogs that can detect melanoma and other cancers by scent long before any clinical examination or radiographic scan. And yes, there are true emotional support animals, for those humans with intractable anxiety or histories of extreme abuse or PTSD. Because we can trust unconditional canine love where we cannot trust another human.
But, as with legalizing pot, we as a society are going a little too far a little too fast. Anyone can get an “emotional support” certificate or vest on Amazon for about 30 bucks, and federal law states no one can ask why you need the animal or what condition you have. So the privilege is being terribly abused, and consequences have already begun. The first industry to push back has been the airlines, and for good reason, with dogfights and dog poop in the aisles, animals attacking humans sitting next to them, and ponies and pigs and peacocks being led up the boarding ramp. As a matter of fact, Dexter the peacock was the first support animal to be denied boarding on a United flight in Newark, precipitating an avalanche of new restrictions. And, unfortunately, those with disabilities will pay the price with increased scrutiny and more difficult access, even though it is never their trained animal that has been a problem.
So if you, dear reader, are, or are considering, fudging the system for your furry friend, please don’t. Leave Spot or Buddy or Fluffy at home, even if you are only headed for the grocery store. Because there are people who need their animal companion at their side far more than you do.
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