Patterns of abuse among South Asian women experiencing domestic violence in the United States

Abstract

This qualitative study was conducted with a convenience sample of 20 South Asian women experiencing domestic violence in the United States. The results explore the patterns of abuse and factors and circumstances (i.e. turning points) that motivated South Asian women to change in the context of the stage that they were in as per the Landenburger’s model (binding, enduring, disengaging, and recovery). The four themes that emerged from the interviews and analysis are (1) ‘Timing and Frequency of abuse’, (2) ‘Methods of control – financial, isolation and suspicion’, (3) ‘Cycle of Abuse’, and (4)’ Turning Points – motivation to change’. Implications for practice and policy-level changes for abused South Asian women in the United States are discussed.

Introduction

Domestic violence (DV) is a significant public health problem that occurs among all socioeconomic, religious, and cultural groups. In a systematic review of prevalence of DV in multiple countries, 10–50 percent of women reported physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lives (Watts and Zimmerman, 2002). A high prevalence of DV has been found in the South-East Asian region (World Health Organization (WHO), 2013). In community-based studies in the United States, South Asian immigrant women have reported past year prevalence of DV up to 40 percent (Mahapatra, 2012; Raj and Silverman, 2002). Exposure to DV has been associated with a range of adverse health outcomes such as depression, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), HIV/sexually transmitted infection (STI) (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 2015; Sabri et al., 2013). South Asian women in the United States may face additional health related challenges due to barriers such as financial dependence on the abuser, immigration threats from partners, pressure to uphold family values and honor, and abuse from in-laws and extended families (Dasgupta, 2000; Kallivayalil, 2004). South Asian women in abusive relationships are more likely to remain silent about their abuse than other abused women due to shame, stigma of DV, emphasis on family image, and fear of isolation by the South Asian community. Given the high prevalence of DV among South Asians, barriers to seeking help and adverse effects on survivors, additional research is needed to inform efforts to prevent DV among the South Asian immigrants in the United States. This study focuses on understanding patterns of abuse among South Asian women and identifying turning points in their lives that motivated them to address abuse. The findings can be useful for the development of prevention and intervention strategies among South Asian immigrant women in the United States.

Women may be motivated to bring about a change in their abusive situations due to a myriad of factors that may be catalysts or turning points in their lives. Turning points have been defined as ‘specific incidents, factors, or circumstances that permanently change how women view the violence, their relationship, and how they wish to respond’ (Chang et al., 2010: 252; Sabri et al., 2016). Turning points in the lives of abused women can be very specific events such as threat to life, or could be minor events that may be precipitating factors in an already stressed out abusive relationship, realization that there is not much time left for the abusive partner to change, women’s perception that she needs to make a choice right away or else the opportunity will be lost, and placing the blame of leaving the abusive relationship on someone else who is able to convince that leaving is essential (Ebaugh, 1988; Enander and Holmberg, 2008; Sabri et al., 2016). In several cases, women are motivated to change, when abuse starts affecting their children; or it escalates to a point where they fear for their and/or their children’s lives, or they recognize that they have strong support from outside that they can seek (Chang et al., 2010; Sabri et al., 2016). Other turning points could include finding out that the abuser is cheating on her, or the realization that the relationship is indeed abusive (Campbell et al., 1998; Enander and Holmberg, 2008; Haj-Yahia and Eldar-Avidan, 2001; Sabri et al., 2016). Thus, many turning points in the course of the relationship could motivate women to address abuse in their lives. The turning points are also dependent on factors and circumstances (i.e. turning points) that motivated South Asian women to change in the context of the stage that they were in as per the Landenburger’s (1989) model of ‘binding, enduring, disengaging and recovery’. The meaning and process of each of these stages of ‘binding, enduring, disengaging and recovery’ (Landenburger, 1989) is explained in detail in the following section.

Theoretical framework

This study examines patterns of abuse and turning points in the lives of South Asian abused women using the Landenburger’s (1989) model of abuse stages. The Landenburger’s (1989) model outlines four stages that describe the process of change in women’s experiences and responses to abuse. The initial phase is termed as binding, when the abuse starts in the relationship; yet, the woman emphasizes the positive parts in the relationship. She wants to focus on commitment and settles in with her partner in a family life. She often does not pay attention to the warning signs and even the events which are distressing to her. She works harder on the relationship and lives with a false sense of protection from her partner. She blames herself for the abuse and feels that she is, consequently, bound to her partner. This leads her to the second stage of enduring, where she moves from ignoring the problems to consciously neglecting them. She tries to fix the abuse by focusing on finding a solution but neglecting the problem. She, therefore, believes her partner when he convinces her that he will not repeat the abuse. She starts living in two different realities, blaming herself for abuse but also looking into the reason for being treated badly by the partner. She also feels the need to protect the abuser from stigma, so she does not talk about what is happening to her. Feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness pervade her.

Disengaging is the third phase, where the woman is divided between leaving the relationship and being with the abusive partner. She begins to identify with other abused women and the realization of abuse begins to sink into her. She actively seeks help, and even if turned down in the past, makes requests to family friends, church, police, and so on. Mixed feelings of anger and fear of the partner help her to move on and eventually end the relationship. Yet, it is difficult to deal with the loss of the relationship, and hence, even after leaving, the woman might decide to return to the abuser.

The final phase is of recovering where initially the woman deals with the guilt of leaving and the disappointment of the relationship not working out. The thoughts of basic needs and shelter then take priority and she is continuously pulled between the pleas of the abuser not repeating his mistakes and her own needs. She grieves the positive aspects of the relationship, may blame herself for it not working out. If she is able to abandon this guilt and focus on herself, she moves on; otherwise, she is likely to return to the abuser. For women who do not return, they start searching for meaning by strengthening themselves and not holding self-responsible for the abuse (Landenburger, 1989). These phases are not mutually exclusive and each phase weaves into another. Beginning with the ‘binding’ stage where women are in constant denial of abuse to the stage of ‘enduring’ or tolerating abuse which is the next stage. Finally, when women realize that they should do something about their abusive situation they start ‘disengaging’ from their partner and are on the road to recovery.

Other researchers have formulated similar stages as Landenburger (1989) that women undergo before they decide to leave their abusive partners. Merritt-Gray and Wuest (1995) and Wuest and Merritt-Gray (2001) came up with the stages of ‘counteracting abuse’ (where the woman refuses to leave the abuser), ‘breaking free’ (finally leaves and becomes a survivor), ‘not going back’ (separates from the abuser), and ‘moving on’ (removed from the abuse but continues reclaiming self and her identity). Moss et al. (1997) came up with the stages of ‘being in’ (tolerates abuse and is in denial), ‘getting out’ (leaves the abusive relationship), and ‘going on’ (grieves the loss of relationships and trust of others). Furthermore, Taylor (2002) has the following stages: ‘defining moments’ (disengages from the abuse and leaves), ‘moving away’ (distances herself from the abuser), and ‘moving on’ (maintains separation from the abuser). Each of these is similar to Landenburger’s (1989) stages of ‘binding, enduring, disengaging and recovery’.

Current study

Previous researchers, so far have reported on prevalence of DV among South Asians (Mahapatra, 2012; Raj and Silverman, 2002), coping and help-seeking behaviors (Bhandari, 2017; Mahapatra and DiNitto, 2013; Raj and Silverman, 2007), various types of abuse experienced by South Asian women (Abraham, 1999; Dasgupta, 2000; Dasgupta and Warrier, 1996; Raj and Silverman, 2002). This study is unique as it describes the patterns of abuse factors and circumstances (i.e. turning points) that motivated South Asian women to change in the context of the stage that they were in as per the Landenburger’s (1989) model of ‘binding, enduring, disengaging and recovery’.

Method

Sample

In total, 20 women of South Asian origin voluntarily participated in the study. Most South Asian women (65%, n = 13) were from India, followed by Pakistan, (n = 4), Bangladesh (n = 1), United Kingdom, (n = 1), and Canada (n = 1), their times of emigration in the United States ranged from 1 to 42 years. The immigration status of the women ranged from holding a green card to being a naturalized US citizen to being on a dependent work permit visa. The mean age of the respondents was 38.8 years (ranging from 26 years through 66 years). Most women (n = 18) were separated or divorced, while some (n = 2) were still married to their abusive partners at the time of the interview. The participants belonged to a variety of religions: Hindus (n = 8), Muslims (n = 8), Jains (n = 2), and Sikh (n = 1). One participant reported no religion. Most of the participants had college degrees, that is, some (n = 8) with a bachelor’s degree, others (n = 10) with a master’s degree, as well as a technical college degree (n = 1), and an associate’s degree (n = 1). Specific demographics of the sample are presented in Table 1.

Table 1.

Socio-demographic details per participant.

Socio-demographics
Participant	Country	Age (years)	Religion	Visa status	Number of children	Type of marriage	Employment status	Highest level of education
Sita	India	35	Sikh	L2/will file for U visa	2	Arranged	Unemployed	College graduate
Radha	India	43	Hindu	Permanent resident	1	Arranged	Employed PT	Postgraduate
Sakina	India	35	Hindu	US citizen	1	Arranged	Unemployed	Postgraduate
Lavanya	India	41	Jain	Permanent resident	0	Arranged	Unemployed	College graduate
Saira	Pakistan	26	Muslim	B2 visa, VAWA filed	0	Arranged	Unemployed	College graduate
Shamika	India	27	Hindu	F1	0	Arranged	Student	College graduate
Arya	India	41	Hindu	US citizen	1	Arranged	Unemployed	Postgraduate
Bindu	India	31	Hindu	Permanent resident	1	Arranged	Unemployed	College graduate
Fareena	Pakistan	39	Muslim	US citizen	1	Arranged	Employed FT	College graduate
Farah	India	33	Jain	Permanent resident	0	Arranged	Student	Postgraduate
Komal	India	33	Hindu	Permanent resident	1	Arranged	Employed FT	Postgraduate
Shafalika	Pakistan	31	Muslim	F1	0	Arranged	Unemployed	Postgraduate
Naina	India	42	Muslim	EAD, pending I-360	0	Arranged	Employed FT	Postgraduate
Sudha	Canada	34	Muslim	US citizen	1	Love	Employed FT	Technical school
Niharika	Pakistan	45	Muslim	US citizen	2	Arranged	1 FT and 1 PT	College graduate
Sulcohna	India	45	Muslim	US citizen	0	Arranged	Employed PT	Postgraduate
Smitha	India	66	No religion	US citizen	1	Love	Retired PT	Postgraduate
Fatima	United Kingdom	35	Hindu	Permanent resident	1	Arranged/love	PT	Associate’s degree
Amita	India	57	Hindu	US citizen	3	Arranged	Unemployed	Postgraduate
Rekha	Bangladesh	37	Muslim	US citizen	0	Arranged	Unemployed	College graduate

PT: part-time; VAWA: Violence Against Women Act; EAD: employment authorization document; FT: full-time.

Participant 111 was a male and was not included in this study.

Procedure

After receiving approval from the University’s institutional review board, researchers recruited a convenience sample from five South Asian women’s organizations (SAWOs) across the United States (see Jordan and Bhandari, 2016, for a full description of the study methods). Women were not excluded if they did not speak English fluently. Out of the 20 interviews, 1 interview was conducted in Hindi, and the transcription was then translated into English. The sample of 20 women was considered sufficient for the current analysis because saturation was reached, in that gathering new data did not afford any new theoretical insights (Charmaz, 2006). Each in-depth interview was approximately 1.5–3 hours, an average of 2 hours. The authors conducted the interviews over the telephone, except for one interview that was conducted face-to-face in a public library. All the interviews were audio-taped except one in which the participant did not consent to be taped. The researchers took notes during this interview and used hand-written notes in the analysis. All other interviews were transcribed verbatim and then analyzed. At the conclusion of the interview, the participants were sent a US$15 e-gift certificate of a leading grocery store via e-mail.

Interview guide

Although a semi-structured interview guide, consisting of open-ended questions, was used, the interviews remained open to the direction taken by the participants. Each interview began by the interviewer asking the participants to share their experience of abuse with their intimate partners, how often the abuse occurred, and what happened before and after the abuse. The women were also asked how they responded and coped with abuse and if they had any recommendations or advice for other abused South Asian women or health care professionals.

Researchers have described the patterns of abuse of the participants in their own voices (Creswell, 2007). They chose this approach because the research was exploratory in nature and an attempt to understand South Asian women’s patterns of abuse from a power and control perspective. Using a qualitative approach with open-ended questions allowed the researchers to gather in-depth, rich, descriptive information that would not have been available using quantitative research and data collection methodologies. Follow-up probes were used to elicit descriptions of contextual factors (i.e. What was happening at the time?). Questions were not necessarily asked in the same order with each woman, since the goal was to ensure that the women told their individual stories according to what was important to them. Interviewing techniques were used to ensure that the women’s descriptions were understood, for example, clarification of terms or phrases (e.g. ‘izzat’, which means ‘honor’, which was used by several women to describe the family honor that needed to be upheld). Thus, asking for clarification avoided the assumption of shared meaning.

Data analysis

The general process of open-coding of qualitative data requires each researcher to independently read, interpret, label (code), reduce to themes, and then discuss the meanings elucidated in the data (Ulin et al., 2005). The researchers applied an open-coding strategy as defined by Saldaña (2012) to identify the patterns of abuse and what were the ‘turning points’ in the lives of South Asian women in the United States that motivated them to change. Turning points were defined as major or minor events that counted as precipitating factors to bring about a change in the abusive situation. For example, answering the question, ‘What led the woman to do something about the abuse?’ In practice, this meant that the researchers independently generated a label or code that summarized the themes of patterns of abuse and turning points in the transcripts. These codes were used to make comparisons between the researchers’ codes and to identify patterns in the transcribed interviews of the participants. The preliminary codes were then reconciled to create the overarching codes.

The next stage was the researchers’ synthesized coding to develop themes that emerged across participants’ stories. After each step of the process, the researchers met to discuss findings and refine analysis criteria (Glaser and Strauss, 1967) and an audit trail was kept to document decisions. Padgett (2008) indicates that using detailed in-depth personal narratives of participants makes the quaslitative data more trustworthy and credible. Credibility was established by utilizing appropriate and well recognized research methods which was in-depth telephonic interviews. After every interview, a ‘reflective summary’ was documented. The entire process of data collection, sampling and data analysis was systematic and well organized which further helps to enhance the trustworthiness and reliability of analysis of this study (Saldaña, 2011). All relevant material was taken into account, a sequence of steps was followed during the analysis, and the authors checked the coding for consistency with elaborate documentation of how the final codes were reached (Schreier, 2012). The researchers agreed upon the following themes, ‘Timing and Frequency of abuse’, ‘Methods of control – financial, isolation and suspicion’, ‘Cycle of Abuse’, and ‘Turning Points – motivation to change’.

Findings

The four themes that emerged from the interviews and analysis are (1) ‘Timing and Frequency of abuse’, (2) ‘Methods of control – financial, isolation and suspicion’, (3) ‘Cycle of Abuse’, (4) ‘Turning Points – motivation to change’. Participants are identified by a pseudonym and their country of origin, followed by their age.

Timing and frequency of abuse

For most women in our study, the abuse began immediately after marriage as early as the honeymoon and continued throughout the married life. In some cases, there were multiple red flags between the period of engagement and wedding, but women ignored it as they hoped that the situation would get better after the wedding, and/or there was a lot of social pressure from the natal family to get married and calling off the wedding was not even an option. Examples of red flags include but are not limited to controlling behavior by the fiancé and rush by the fiancé to get married.

The abuse lasted for 8.2 years on an average with the lowest being 4 months and the longest being 22 years. In most cases, arguments started with the number of phone calls women made to the natal family back in the home country. With women coming to the United States through the route of marriage, they had left their social support back home and most did not have any friends or family near-by. One participant shared how things started during their honeymoon:

We got married and … went for our honeymoon …. I was tired at 2am, in the morning … he wanted to have sex with me and I refused. Refused in the sense, I was tired. And then he started pounding on the bed and he told me that: you are refusing me for sex; you can’t even do this for me! And I was like, what am I going to do? I am sitting in an alien country. I’ve stepped out of my country for the first time. So I didn’t say anything … he asked me to sleep on the floor. He slept on the bed and I slept on the floor. And then in the morning when we woke up, he apologized. (Sita, India, 35 years)

She had seen red flags before the wedding but did not have the courage to call off the wedding as her father was disabled and there was a lot of social pressure to get married.

Another participant said that she had experienced abuse in her entire married life:

The whole married life had abuse. It had physical, financial, emotional every kind was there. It just changed from time to time … in the beginning when I was back in Pakistan and he was here – the control was over the phone. Like, don’t do this, don’t go there, don’t do this … When I came here it was more of like isolation and then physical abuse started and then with it financial abuse started … [He used to say] ‘You’re nothing without me all that degrading’. (Niharika, Pakistan, 45 years)

Methods of control

The various types of abuse ranged from financial, physical, sexual, emotional/psychological. In some cases, there was only one type and in some, a combination of several types of abuse (see Jordan and Bhandari, 2016, for a description of the various types of abuse). In most cases, physical abuse started with minor arguments around children, misunderstanding about communication with parents, and so on. In some cases, it started with verbal abuse and went to the level of physical abuse. Control was exerted so that the woman would be completely dependent on the abusive partner with no support from anywhere. The behavior of the abusive husband was more, so as if the wife had committed a mistake and she should be punished for it. It seemed as if the wife had broken the rules and she had to pay for it, almost like disciplining a child. Controlling the finances, not letting the wife spend even a single penny on her own, not allowing her to call her family back in India, or letting her meet them if they stayed nearby were some of the common ways in which the women were controlled. The abusive husbands isolated these women in various ways, some of which was by not allowing her to go out, talk to anybody, among other things, that trapped the women in abusive marriages. The following examples illustrate how the abusive husband did not want to spend five extra dollars on a burrito for his pregnant wife:

[She said], ‘I’d like to have a burrito’, and he [abusive husband] was like ‘You know, if we each eat one that will be $10, so how about we buy one and you and I share it? So it will be $5. If you do that then I can buy for you again next time’. I [was] like, ‘Here you are. You told me that once you have a kid you are going to be different and your wife is pregnant. She’s craving something. What if I want to eat more than half?’ It was such a silly discussion, and he’s like ‘You know, if you want to eat more that means you are greedy’. (Arya, India, 31 years)

In another example, the abusive husband would not let Arya buy sanitary napkins while they were at a grocery store as it was her fault to not get them from home:

So we were at XXX grocery store and my [menstrual cramping] pain had started. So I’m like, ‘I need to find tampon because it [menstrual bleeding] had started’, and he’s like, ‘Why didn’t you bring it with you? Now your punishment is to go without it’, and I was shocked. I [was] like, ‘How can you say such a thing, you know, and if you buy it’s not something that it’s a one-time use thing, you know! I’ll need it again’, and he was like, ‘No, I’m not going to waste all that money’. (Arya, India, 31 years)

Being suspicious and using strange ways to control the woman was another classic tool utilized by some abusers. The following example states that how the abusive husband did not let her flush the toilet. He was very suspicious and accused her of secretly talking to somebody when she flushed:

I was not able to go to the restroom … suppose I have just flushed and one of our neighbours have flushed also, you know how thin walls are. He would say that, ‘Oh, you just communicated with that person. You told him that, you know that he is there also’. (Radha, India, 43 years)

Another example of being suspicious where the woman had to explain every minute of her visit outside the house:

… if I tell him that I’m going to go for grocery he will call me right after 5–10 minutes and keep calling me until I get home back. If it is late or something, then he will ask me how … where I was, why I took this long. I mean he will check on me. (Fareena, Pakistan, 39 years)

There were plenty of examples where women said that they were not allowed to smile at or talk to anybody. The following comment is an example:

Once I received a passport from a courier person and so I didn’t know I smiled with him or somehow it came in my face, I just smiled and my husband was looking at me from indoor and when I came back he shouted at me, ‘why you are smiling with him, you are characterless woman, you are like this?’ (Shafalika, Pakistan, 31 years)

Isolation from natal family was another classic way in which women were controlled. Not allowing them to call back home, but if the natal family lived in the same town, they were not allowed to meet them at all:

I’m in a cage … I can’t do anything so what I used to do, sometime when he is at work quietly I used to ask my mother to come and meet me at McDonald’s close to my home, so she used to come and meet me. My sister and my mother, we used to meet for like 15 minutes, 20 minutes, or half an hour and then I would quickly run back [to the house] But I was so scared. God forbid if he sees us coming out together so we used to go separate [ways]..I mean I was living in so much fear, which you won’t believe it. (Fareena, Pakistan, 39 years)

Cycle of abuse

Most women went through the cycle of abuse where abuse started with verbal abuse and then intensified and went to the extent of physical abuse. Then, there were apologies or good behavior by the abuser for some time and then the abuse started again. In some other cases, the relationship went downhill right from the beginning and the abusive situation just kept taking different forms with no improvement or peace at all. Women went back and forth several times between the natal family and husband’s home before they were either finally abandoned or they decided to leave. Abuse took the form of being uncaring, insensitive, and not bothered about the woman at all, as if the abusive husband just wanted to get rid of her in some form or manner. The following is a comment by one of the participants who shares how her husband changed his behavior:

I filed for divorce. He came back again begging, crying, calling, banging on the door. I was like, 40 miles away from here, same apartment I was in. Leaving flowers outside of my door and all kind of different kind of sweets and all those things, but this time I says not at all. Not again and again. So but finally I’m over with it. He didn’t want to sign the paper for divorce because the only concern he had was for money. But I said I don’t want, need even a penny from you. You can keep the money. As soon as I said that within 5 minutes the paperwork was signed. After 1–1/2 years …(Fareena, Pakistan, 39 years)

Radha was beaten up by her natal family for using bad words and made the decision to become independent in life by going to another town and becoming a teacher. She went back to collect her certificates at her husband’s place and told him what had happened:

… [She told her abusive husband] ‘So I’m here just to collect my certificates and I’m going to leave with my child. So, you do whatever you have to do’. He [her husband] just embraced me and he said, ‘sorry I am not going to do it again’ and I again trusted him. So I again stayed with him, but after some days it again started, but by that time, you know all that determination had gone and I was just totally shattered mentally. (Radha, India, 43 years)

Turning points as motivation to change

In the context of different patterns of abuse, that the women experience, the following is an array of description of several turning points in the lives of these women that motivated them to change their abusive situation. All the women in this study were either in the disengaging or recovery stage as per Landenburger’s stages explained earlier. Events like increase in severity of abuse, police being called by the neighbors, cognitive realization that abuse is affecting the children, abandonment by the husband, circumstances that forced her to leave, threats by the abusive husband to put her and children’s life in danger, and threats to file restraining order against her parents so they could not see the grandchildren were some of the reason that pushed the women to take drastic steps. The timing of the turning points varied for each woman. In some cases, it was several times going back and forth on the decision to leave before the woman took the final step. In most cases, the step was to file for divorce. The others included were not limited to seeking help at a SAWO, seeking employment to gain financial independence.

The following comment by one of the participant shows how she took the final step:

… He gave a punch and kind of pushed me. My son was watching all of this …. I’m not going to be able to ignore it …. I left with the child and this time I even took some of my stuff. Again he didn’t stop me, he didn’t stop me and then he calls me and says this child is not even mine …. I mean the stuff that he said to me was so inappropriate and it was like a slap when he said this because he denied paternity over the child. Then later that day I sent my cousins over and my dad and all of us got over and we just – we literally, we – and they came with the cab, put suitcases of my clothing out. (Sudha, India, 34 years)

Another participant was told by her husband that the locks of the house have been changed, so she should not return:

I went to visit them (her parents and brother) but without my daughter. At that time that imam who was working with us he told me and the family that, ‘Let (xx participant) her go. Don’t let the daughter go. Just let her go and meet the parents’. I was against because I wanted to take my daughter to see her grandparents. But then my parents were not in good health so I thought okay at least this imam seems to be responsible, so let me quickly go and see my parents and come back. So I went to yyy city and there he [abusive husband] texted my brother on my name that don’t come to xxx city. If you come here you will find the locks changed. So I was kind of – it was very shocking. That’s when I called SAWO the first time and I Googled and found out. And then the SAWO staff they told me to come here and they advised me on what I should do and then I went to the police station from the airport. I went to the police told them that my husband he texted this-this and what should I do if the locks are really changed? (Sulochna, India, 45 years)

Another participant was forced to move out even though she had a newborn baby. She states,

Then his [abusers’] sister and all one day came and said, my [her] visa expired and then they all came and said ‘we all are illegal. If cops know that you are living in a hotel, this is booked on your name and all that, they will come and get you’. I was so scared, I called 911 then. Then I was like ‘no, this is not working … ’. I remember the xxx(city) number that I had, the women’s organization number, I called them and I said ‘can you please take me from there? I don’t know anything in yyy(city). I don’t have anything with me, but I’m staying back’, but then I think they are from last, the she referred me to one of the organizations here in yyy, that is ABC (SAWO). Then I called ABC and then like it was great that I called ABC because from then I had volunteers in my house. (Komal, India, 33 years)

Thus, increase in severity of abuse, abuse being witnessed by children or being deceived and therefore forced to leave were some of the turning points mentioned by the women in this study. In most cases, deception was used as a means to abandon the woman and her child or children. Women in desperate situations like that of Komal sought help in whatever manner they could.

Discussion

Women in this study experienced various types of abuse ranging from financial, sexual, and psychological. Control, suspicion, and isolation from family and friends were the frequently reported partners’ abusive behaviors. For some women, the abuse started after marriage. For others, the abuse started after the engagement before marriage. However, women either ignored the red flags or were not able to break the engagement because of social pressure and stigma of a broken engagement. For South Asian families, having an adult daughter who is unmarried can be a cause of embarrassment and shame in the community. It is very important that women get married as they are viewed as a burden or a liability in the natal home. So even if women in this study saw red flags before the wedding, they could not call it off.

Women who are married and in an abusive relationship are unable to leave because of the stigma of divorce in the South Asian community. The responsibility of keeping the family together is often placed on women. Women who leave are at risk for being ostracized by the community members. Abusive men use these community beliefs and attitudes to their advantage by manipulating and controlling women. Many women stay in abusive relationships due to fear of abandonment or shame. Abusive men in South Asia often threaten to abandon women or to throw them out of the house (Allendorf, 2012). In some situations, men just get rid of their wives by filing for divorce and not giving them their due rights, share in property, wealth or any form of alimony or maintenance.

DV among South Asian women is associated with patriarchal cultural norms that are related to low status of women. Adherence to these norms can lead to normalization of violence against women who do not adhere to prescribed norms. Women, therefore, are socialized to accept violence in their lives and blame themselves for their abuse (Sabri et al., 2013). The findings highlighting the role of socio-cultural norms on various forms of abuse in this study are similar to other studies on South Asian women in the United States and in their home countries (Kallivayalil, 2010; Sabri et al., 2014). Policies and programs are needed to address socio-cultural norms that contribute to violence against women in South Asian communities.

The turning points give a sense of how the women created whole architectures of support and motivation, despite significant obstacles of immigration and isolation, among others and decided to break free. Women in this study were either in the disengaging or the recovery stage of the Landenburger’s stages of change. Several factors served as turning points that contributed to women’s motivation to change their abusive situations. The turning points included factors such as increase in severity of abuse, self-realization, and threats to women’s children. These factors are consistent with previous studies on abused women from other racial/ethnic groups (Chang et al., 2010; Sabri et al., 2016).

Overall, the study highlights the impact of specific socio-cultural norms that contribute to violence against South Asian women (e.g. pressure to remain married) and turning points, which are key considerations in interventions for abused South Asian women. Addressing intimate partner violence (IPV) in South Asian families need strategies that include increasing awareness on impact of IPV on women and families, provision of culturally competent services, and empowering women to seek help. Social workers, however, need to respect the women’s abilities to make decisions and realize that they are the only ones who can bring about a change in their lives. Also important is addressing women’s barriers to seeking help for abuse. Since South Asian women in this study have been in the United States for different lengths of time, they may not have knowledge of the US system and how to access resources. Practitioners must consider immigrant-related barriers to seeking help in developing safety plans for women in abusive relationships.

Implications for policy and practice

It is important for practitioners to know the turning points in the lives of South Asian women that make them decide or force them to do something about their abusive situation. In situations of abuse affecting children, abandonment among others, or situations in which women are at risk for severe violence or homicide for breaking free from the abuser, practitioners should be able to provide options for safety. Recognizing the warning signs and educating women and families to seek help before the situation turns critical is important. Since cultural dynamics (e.g. lack of support from family members for disclosing DV) can be barriers to women’s safety, it is important to provide culturally appropriate interventions for abused South Asian women (Tonsing, 2016). This calls for cultural competency training of police, emergency, and medical personnel along with child welfare workers and legal personnel on how best to intervene with South Asian survivors of DV Practitioners also need to be mindful that when women disclose abuse it is after years of endurance and they may access formal services like police and legal system only when the situation is grave (Bhandari, 2017). Policies and programs must be in place to raise awareness of DV and services for South Asian DV survivors through strategies such as small cards or pamphlets. This information could be placed in women’s restrooms, in places of worship, grocery stores, doctor’s offices, and so on. Public health announcements need to be prepared in Hindi and other Indian languages around what to do in crisis as well as non-crisis abusive situations. SAWOs all across the United States are doing phenomenal work with abused South Asian women in terms of intervening in a culturally competent way. However, they run on limited budget and in some cases on voluntary staff as well. An implication of our findings is connected to more funding for SAWOs who are already working with abused South Asian women. All the women in this study contacted SAWOs for help. Hence, beefing up the current SAWOs with resources to do both intervention- and prevention-level work would have a positive impact in this important work of violence against South Asian women (Jordan and Bhandari, 2016).

This study had several instances of South Asian husbands abandoning their wives. With husband abandoning their wives, it is important to have policies to provide housing and health benefits to women and their children. If the women are on dependent immigration status without a permanent residency, they do not qualify for any welfare benefits in the United States. It is extremely important that such benefits like housing, health care, food stamps, and temporary cash assistance are extended to immigrant women so that they can take the steps to leave their abusive partner. Not just making polices to extend these benefits but educating immigrant women about its availability is also very critical. With anti-immigrant policies, it is becoming all the more difficult for women to disclose abuse.

Limitations

The current findings are all self-report data, and the possibility of social desirability bias may exist. The ability to generalize the current findings to the larger population of South Asian survivors in the United States is limited by the current small sample of self-selected women. It is important to note that heterogeneous cultures exist within South Asia and that South Asian countries have customs that are not monolithic, and South Asians should not be stereotyped.

Conclusion

The purpose of this study was to report the patterns of abuse and factors and circumstances (i.e. turning points) of 20 South Asian women in the United State that motivated them to change. South Asian women are controlled in a variety of ways by their abusers and various turning points like increase in severity of abuse, forced abandonment, and abuse affecting children among others motivates them to take the final step. There is a dire need to conduct more research with the South Asian population utilizing larger samples to be able to confirm and further expand the current findings. The current findings will have relevance to clinicians, advocates, and policy makers in different countries of the world where South Asians have immigrated and help the service personnel to offer culturally sensitive services.